dball update: first games were subpar. i think it's because i'm trying not to dive, which throws my reaction time completely out of whack. aln was actually pretty shocked at how upset i was at myself after that game. took me awhile to figure it out but...next week. it'll be better.
fball update: it's good to be back. jimmyd killed my quads, i couldn't walk at all the next day. it felt so good to be sore again even though i couldn't bend over and pick anything up. i can throw too! i'm glad j didn't take me out of rotations, even though i still feel like a secondary player. they might switch me to defense next year, i'm not sure how i feel about that...but we'll see, i guess. first, the claw has to heal.
looks like i might be back in orchestra sooner than i thought...man, life sure has gotten busy these days. the orchestra i was going to audition for next year suddenly needs violins...hrrm.
the madness of planning for jo's and nationals has begun. i decided to forego aau's, though i'm still on the fence about nationals. at least it's after poomsae trials, so hopefully there will be no injuries to deal with this year. man, i really hope we make team this year. i feel like we're capable we just need some coaching and...to be able to pull through. it'd be really nice esp since scott is going away to college next year.
trying to coordinate 8 people and hotel variations was driving me nuts...but actually once aln got on the phone this morning we managed to crank it out. 2 are seriously better than 1, i was pleasantly surprised. but it was so productive...he got the flights, i got the hotel and car...check, check, and done. excellent. now all i have to do is figure out all the registration and whether i'm going to spar...and which disney parks i want to go to...wow a real vacation. unheard of. all very exciting.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
me to we
when did we go from "me" to "we"? i think it was the google calendar.
this whole thing has been an interesting change...it still boggles my mind that there's someone to depend on. for example, the other day i had to drop him off at this high school he was speaking at, and was desperately trying to find parking in that area so i could take the train down to hand therapy. there was no parking. seriously.
as the time ticked down and i got progressively more panicked, i finally parked it at a meter and asked him to come out after his talk and feed it. then as i was about to head in the subway, i realized...it's a muni meter. you have to pay the machine and stick the ticket on the dash of the car. so he needs my keys.
i ran over to the school and he came out to get the keys. i felt so bad, because it basically was going to screw up his talk, having to watch the time, and running out and what-not. i was about to call PT and cancel since i was already late, and he grabs my keys and tells me to go, that he'd take care of it.
an hour later i get a call "i have your car, i'm on my way to pick you up, do you want me to get you food?"
i think grace still has a tendency to throw me off-guard. i was like, what? apparently it gave him a good story to tell for his talk, which was on the good samaritan, and how relationships are about sacrifice. huh.
this whole thing has been an interesting change...it still boggles my mind that there's someone to depend on. for example, the other day i had to drop him off at this high school he was speaking at, and was desperately trying to find parking in that area so i could take the train down to hand therapy. there was no parking. seriously.
as the time ticked down and i got progressively more panicked, i finally parked it at a meter and asked him to come out after his talk and feed it. then as i was about to head in the subway, i realized...it's a muni meter. you have to pay the machine and stick the ticket on the dash of the car. so he needs my keys.
i ran over to the school and he came out to get the keys. i felt so bad, because it basically was going to screw up his talk, having to watch the time, and running out and what-not. i was about to call PT and cancel since i was already late, and he grabs my keys and tells me to go, that he'd take care of it.
an hour later i get a call "i have your car, i'm on my way to pick you up, do you want me to get you food?"
i think grace still has a tendency to throw me off-guard. i was like, what? apparently it gave him a good story to tell for his talk, which was on the good samaritan, and how relationships are about sacrifice. huh.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
don't eat raw dough
I miss JAAC and his profundity. Still the most eloquent person I've met to date.
"Just like baking a cake, you have to give the dough time to rise and the chemical reactions to take place before it settles into its final form and you can eat it.
TIME is a major consideration here. Don't eat raw dough."
* * * * * *
Bibimballz resumes next week. I hope The Claw cooperates...I can't wait for dodgeball! =)
* * * * * *
Still on the fence about competing this summer. Yargh. Some days I totally want to. And then I just get fed up all over again thinking it's just not going to be fair or worth it.
But I miss it...sigh.
"Just like baking a cake, you have to give the dough time to rise and the chemical reactions to take place before it settles into its final form and you can eat it.
TIME is a major consideration here. Don't eat raw dough."
* * * * * *
Bibimballz resumes next week. I hope The Claw cooperates...I can't wait for dodgeball! =)
* * * * * *
Still on the fence about competing this summer. Yargh. Some days I totally want to. And then I just get fed up all over again thinking it's just not going to be fair or worth it.
But I miss it...sigh.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
bucket dump
i was re-listening to the mix of awesomeness that laura made for me last year (to date, the most meaningful gift anyone has ever given me) - and there was one part in the first track when dan said this:
"everyone has their time to shine. it doesn't always come when you expect it"
i wonder if my time to shine has come and gone. or whether it hasn't happened yet.
* * * * * * *
sometimes you pray for a gift from the sky. but then...how do you know if you've gotten it?
* * * * * * *
at the age of 29 i have to say...i'm too old for sleep deprivation. how sad. i have a limit at which i hit uselessness, and it's far sooner than ever before. what the heck...i haven't had this many peripheral headaches since college.
* * * * * * *
conversations of the morning...
issac: what's that white stuff on your car?
me: that's bird poop
issac: birds poop?!?!
me: everyone poops! you poop, don't you?
issac: but i poop in the potty!
"everyone has their time to shine. it doesn't always come when you expect it"
i wonder if my time to shine has come and gone. or whether it hasn't happened yet.
* * * * * * *
sometimes you pray for a gift from the sky. but then...how do you know if you've gotten it?
* * * * * * *
at the age of 29 i have to say...i'm too old for sleep deprivation. how sad. i have a limit at which i hit uselessness, and it's far sooner than ever before. what the heck...i haven't had this many peripheral headaches since college.
* * * * * * *
conversations of the morning...
issac: what's that white stuff on your car?
me: that's bird poop
issac: birds poop?!?!
me: everyone poops! you poop, don't you?
issac: but i poop in the potty!
Thursday, April 08, 2010
demo prelim
first attempts at putting this together. not there quite yet but...promising. my creative side rejoices.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWH_yJBlWyk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWH_yJBlWyk
apples and oranges
it's been a bad week for traffic violations. never really gotten tickets in my life, and this week alone i've shelled out $400+ in parking tickets, tow fees, and garage fees. it's ridiculous.
from my limited experience, i'm learning that i'm attracted to guys who will take care of me. sounds like a given. but it's not. and apparently (this should be obvious) i'm not into alpha males. (yes yes, dbc, because i AM the alpha male). but i guess if i could best categorize...it's the closet alpha. the guy who doesn't need to be the alpha, but if he had to, he could be.
for example, i have to say, i dislike obsequious behavior. i mean seriously dude, i need to respect you. no doormats, please. i received a somewhat frightening email from some dude saying he was my biggest fan. totally weirded me out.
d commented the other day that i'm living my life 10 years behind schedule. getting my car towed for the first time, going out on dates, blah blah blah. yeah, well, 10 years ago i was busy studying and coaching teams and trying to be a world champion. or trying to shed my freshman 15.
i dislike apples and oranges. esp when what you really like are mangoes and pineapples, and then you get an apple and an orange (and a grapefruit) and it's kind of like...well, what about these? how hungry are you?
from my limited experience, i'm learning that i'm attracted to guys who will take care of me. sounds like a given. but it's not. and apparently (this should be obvious) i'm not into alpha males. (yes yes, dbc, because i AM the alpha male). but i guess if i could best categorize...it's the closet alpha. the guy who doesn't need to be the alpha, but if he had to, he could be.
for example, i have to say, i dislike obsequious behavior. i mean seriously dude, i need to respect you. no doormats, please. i received a somewhat frightening email from some dude saying he was my biggest fan. totally weirded me out.
d commented the other day that i'm living my life 10 years behind schedule. getting my car towed for the first time, going out on dates, blah blah blah. yeah, well, 10 years ago i was busy studying and coaching teams and trying to be a world champion. or trying to shed my freshman 15.
i dislike apples and oranges. esp when what you really like are mangoes and pineapples, and then you get an apple and an orange (and a grapefruit) and it's kind of like...well, what about these? how hungry are you?
Monday, April 05, 2010
my shoes?
"excuse me, where are your shoes?"
"um, on my feet."
"oh, sorry, i thought you worked here"
----> never wear a red polo shirt to target
driving with one hand...still dangerous. God help us all. but life must go on. i've had enough of being crippled and useless.
all in all, easter sunday was good. the choir performance was actually pretty good, minus maybe 2 notes. though it gets less noticeable over time. in the end, i'm really glad i did it...i really like learning new things. i hope we get to do more acapella-esque fun stuff in the future...
i think i feel restless these days because i don't have goals. or i'm not striving towards/making progress towards goals. i miss sparring. or football. or even dodgeball. or something.
this week's focus: demo team. i'm shocked that i'm not sick of 붉은 노을 yet after listening to it on repeat all week. man, what a good song...
after i get my stitches out, i'm making myself a training schedule. this has gone on long enough.
"um, on my feet."
"oh, sorry, i thought you worked here"
----> never wear a red polo shirt to target
driving with one hand...still dangerous. God help us all. but life must go on. i've had enough of being crippled and useless.
all in all, easter sunday was good. the choir performance was actually pretty good, minus maybe 2 notes. though it gets less noticeable over time. in the end, i'm really glad i did it...i really like learning new things. i hope we get to do more acapella-esque fun stuff in the future...
i think i feel restless these days because i don't have goals. or i'm not striving towards/making progress towards goals. i miss sparring. or football. or even dodgeball. or something.
this week's focus: demo team. i'm shocked that i'm not sick of 붉은 노을 yet after listening to it on repeat all week. man, what a good song...
after i get my stitches out, i'm making myself a training schedule. this has gone on long enough.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
how beautiful
happy easter! what a gorgeous day...
i decided yesterday to make candy easter eggs things for my small group. the kids got excited about decorating them, so we had a blast drawing on the sides of plastic eggs...in a way, i had my own little sweatshop going. =)
i-man was hilarious...he's only 3 so i told him to just draw things on the sides of the eggs and tell me what they were. it got pretty creative...
i think the main point was that jesus takes care of...everyone. =)
well, so this surgery was a little less ridiculous than the last, but i was still pretty nervous and definitely out of it afterwards. something about the anesthesia that never sits well with me. this one took longer to kick in, too. but i love dr. r, he's the best. wouldn't want to get sliced and diced by anyone else...
post-op, i was delirious for a couple days. which led to some poor judgement calls on my abilities, namely, driving. for some reason, it didn't compute that even though i drive one-handed most of the time - you still actually use your other hand a fair amount for other things, like making calls, turning on the a/c, etc. whoops. so i got into the city on thurs, and i was counting my blessings esp in city traffic and crazy cabs that i didn't get it. (though i did get a parking ticket for being 3 minutes late to my meter! grr...)
so eventually i managed to get jj and he drove the rest of the way to choir rehearsal. i guess the drugs kicked in at some point because i went completely useless for about 15 minutes. (very much dislike not having control of my functions).
looking back on the last couple days and him being forced to basically drive me everywhere and stick around, i feel pretty guilty/burdensome for the shin-sae. but particularly in light of good friday and easter weekend i realized...maybe it's good for me. i very much dislike asking people for help or feeling indebted to them - nor am i very good at receiving sometimes. it's a control thing and i think there's some residual pride from growing up where i had to be independent and put together and self-sufficient. perhaps even just as a guard for my own disappointment because to depend on others means to be disappointed.
but being crippled kind of changes all that. after the first surgery i was so useless - my unnee had to cut my nails for me and help me with EVERYTHING. you grow dependent on people because at the end of the day...you just have to be. i can't even open the stinking childproof cap on my meds by myself, or unscrew my own water bottle.
when i saw him so tired on good friday, and how much he's overwhelmed with but still so willingly giving of time and energy, the meaning of grace hit me all the more. something so undeserved but very much needed - given freely to someone so unwilling to ask for it.
indeed. i'm grateful for all those who prayed, who were concerned, who asked how i was doing...for friends near and far who remind me how beautiful is the body of christ.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHmrC9zUd_E
i decided yesterday to make candy easter eggs things for my small group. the kids got excited about decorating them, so we had a blast drawing on the sides of plastic eggs...in a way, i had my own little sweatshop going. =)
i-man was hilarious...he's only 3 so i told him to just draw things on the sides of the eggs and tell me what they were. it got pretty creative...
i think the main point was that jesus takes care of...everyone. =)
well, so this surgery was a little less ridiculous than the last, but i was still pretty nervous and definitely out of it afterwards. something about the anesthesia that never sits well with me. this one took longer to kick in, too. but i love dr. r, he's the best. wouldn't want to get sliced and diced by anyone else...
post-op, i was delirious for a couple days. which led to some poor judgement calls on my abilities, namely, driving. for some reason, it didn't compute that even though i drive one-handed most of the time - you still actually use your other hand a fair amount for other things, like making calls, turning on the a/c, etc. whoops. so i got into the city on thurs, and i was counting my blessings esp in city traffic and crazy cabs that i didn't get it. (though i did get a parking ticket for being 3 minutes late to my meter! grr...)
so eventually i managed to get jj and he drove the rest of the way to choir rehearsal. i guess the drugs kicked in at some point because i went completely useless for about 15 minutes. (very much dislike not having control of my functions).
looking back on the last couple days and him being forced to basically drive me everywhere and stick around, i feel pretty guilty/burdensome for the shin-sae. but particularly in light of good friday and easter weekend i realized...maybe it's good for me. i very much dislike asking people for help or feeling indebted to them - nor am i very good at receiving sometimes. it's a control thing and i think there's some residual pride from growing up where i had to be independent and put together and self-sufficient. perhaps even just as a guard for my own disappointment because to depend on others means to be disappointed.
but being crippled kind of changes all that. after the first surgery i was so useless - my unnee had to cut my nails for me and help me with EVERYTHING. you grow dependent on people because at the end of the day...you just have to be. i can't even open the stinking childproof cap on my meds by myself, or unscrew my own water bottle.
when i saw him so tired on good friday, and how much he's overwhelmed with but still so willingly giving of time and energy, the meaning of grace hit me all the more. something so undeserved but very much needed - given freely to someone so unwilling to ask for it.
indeed. i'm grateful for all those who prayed, who were concerned, who asked how i was doing...for friends near and far who remind me how beautiful is the body of christ.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHmrC9zUd_E
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