how beautiful

happy easter! what a gorgeous day...

i decided yesterday to make candy easter eggs things for my small group. the kids got excited about decorating them, so we had a blast drawing on the sides of plastic eggs...in a way, i had my own little sweatshop going. =)

i-man was hilarious...he's only 3 so i told him to just draw things on the sides of the eggs and tell me what they were. it got pretty creative...



i think the main point was that jesus takes care of...everyone. =)

well, so this surgery was a little less ridiculous than the last, but i was still pretty nervous and definitely out of it afterwards. something about the anesthesia that never sits well with me. this one took longer to kick in, too. but i love dr. r, he's the best. wouldn't want to get sliced and diced by anyone else...

post-op, i was delirious for a couple days. which led to some poor judgement calls on my abilities, namely, driving. for some reason, it didn't compute that even though i drive one-handed most of the time - you still actually use your other hand a fair amount for other things, like making calls, turning on the a/c, etc. whoops. so i got into the city on thurs, and i was counting my blessings esp in city traffic and crazy cabs that i didn't get it. (though i did get a parking ticket for being 3 minutes late to my meter! grr...)

so eventually i managed to get jj and he drove the rest of the way to choir rehearsal. i guess the drugs kicked in at some point because i went completely useless for about 15 minutes. (very much dislike not having control of my functions).

looking back on the last couple days and him being forced to basically drive me everywhere and stick around, i feel pretty guilty/burdensome for the shin-sae. but particularly in light of good friday and easter weekend i realized...maybe it's good for me. i very much dislike asking people for help or feeling indebted to them - nor am i very good at receiving sometimes. it's a control thing and i think there's some residual pride from growing up where i had to be independent and put together and self-sufficient. perhaps even just as a guard for my own disappointment because to depend on others means to be disappointed.

but being crippled kind of changes all that. after the first surgery i was so useless - my unnee had to cut my nails for me and help me with EVERYTHING. you grow dependent on people because at the end of the day...you just have to be. i can't even open the stinking childproof cap on my meds by myself, or unscrew my own water bottle.

when i saw him so tired on good friday, and how much he's overwhelmed with but still so willingly giving of time and energy, the meaning of grace hit me all the more. something so undeserved but very much needed - given freely to someone so unwilling to ask for it.

indeed. i'm grateful for all those who prayed, who were concerned, who asked how i was doing...for friends near and far who remind me how beautiful is the body of christ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHmrC9zUd_E