current SOTM
I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me
I'm burning through the skies Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man of you
Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm having a good time)
I don't want to stop at all
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
new diet plan
alan is wholly skeptical, but i'm sticking to my guns with our new diet. it revolves around a very simple principle - exercising every day. so if you worked out today, then you deserve to eat. if you didn't work out today - you don't deserve to eat.
it's self-regulating - getting hungry is your body's way of reminding you that you need to exercise. eating after you work up an appetite is far more satisfying - and i've found that after a good workout, i tend to crave things that are healthier for me than when i sit in front of the computer all day.
i had this epiphany today when i was trying to motivate myself to get to the pool, and internally weighing my self-disgust at the most sedentary fall season i've had since the year i tore my knee. (honestly - even though i was crippled i think i was at the gym more then than i am now, if only to do weightlifting).
so chatting with al on my way out the door, debating whether to swim or not .. he prodded me to go work out. of course. exercising gf = thinner gf. little did he know i would bring down the new plan of working out every day and both of us returning to the dojang. football has been fairly low key, mostly because i just don't care as much as i did in the past, and dodgeball...our team was so bad this time that it wasn't really worth getting hyped up about.
new decade, new goals. perhaps it was fitting that the 10th anniversary of the mit stkd club happened this year, at the close of my twenties, my retirement from sparring, and getting most of the use of my hand back. it was a great weekend full of old and new faces, nostalgia to a magnitude i'll probably never experience again, and celebration of the fact that no matter how life may not be fair and how disappointed or regretful i may be about anything else - there was one thing in my lifetime that i put my whole heart into that became everything i ever dreamed for it to be. and more.
it leaves me with a whole lot of pride, a smile on my face - but also a lingering feeling of ... are the best years of my life behind me? at the cusp of 30, if that's true, then that's pretty depressing. but honestly ... i don't know how anything is ever going to top that era of sheer passionate drive and really feeling like i had it all at my fingertips. in the words my mom always said to me... 한참 좋을때... (loosely translated, the time when everything is good ... nuanced to where the world is before you and you have all the opportunities and good places to go)
but first thing's first. i will not get fat and lazy and old just because i'm turning 30. and since i've been described as a "force of nature" - those around me will not either. (sorry alan).
new diet starts after the fball tournament. we'll see how long this lasts...
it's self-regulating - getting hungry is your body's way of reminding you that you need to exercise. eating after you work up an appetite is far more satisfying - and i've found that after a good workout, i tend to crave things that are healthier for me than when i sit in front of the computer all day.
i had this epiphany today when i was trying to motivate myself to get to the pool, and internally weighing my self-disgust at the most sedentary fall season i've had since the year i tore my knee. (honestly - even though i was crippled i think i was at the gym more then than i am now, if only to do weightlifting).
so chatting with al on my way out the door, debating whether to swim or not .. he prodded me to go work out. of course. exercising gf = thinner gf. little did he know i would bring down the new plan of working out every day and both of us returning to the dojang. football has been fairly low key, mostly because i just don't care as much as i did in the past, and dodgeball...our team was so bad this time that it wasn't really worth getting hyped up about.
new decade, new goals. perhaps it was fitting that the 10th anniversary of the mit stkd club happened this year, at the close of my twenties, my retirement from sparring, and getting most of the use of my hand back. it was a great weekend full of old and new faces, nostalgia to a magnitude i'll probably never experience again, and celebration of the fact that no matter how life may not be fair and how disappointed or regretful i may be about anything else - there was one thing in my lifetime that i put my whole heart into that became everything i ever dreamed for it to be. and more.
it leaves me with a whole lot of pride, a smile on my face - but also a lingering feeling of ... are the best years of my life behind me? at the cusp of 30, if that's true, then that's pretty depressing. but honestly ... i don't know how anything is ever going to top that era of sheer passionate drive and really feeling like i had it all at my fingertips. in the words my mom always said to me... 한참 좋을때... (loosely translated, the time when everything is good ... nuanced to where the world is before you and you have all the opportunities and good places to go)
but first thing's first. i will not get fat and lazy and old just because i'm turning 30. and since i've been described as a "force of nature" - those around me will not either. (sorry alan).
new diet starts after the fball tournament. we'll see how long this lasts...
Thursday, October 21, 2010
a fairly tale of grossness
oh, the eagle...and the mayor...someone please stop the madness. can't we all just get along?
over the past 2 weeks, the eagle landed and brought a whirlwind of tension, criticism, and havoc to the already overcommitted kingdom. meanwhile, the mayor (back in ca) stewed in his own juices that his reign of control was in jeopardy.
the kingdom, with some collaboration with the counsel, decided that this would be the opportune time to let the cat out of the bag. so with a valient effort, his suit, a fancy dinner, and all the korean he could muster - the cat met the eagle. the eagle, though obviously displeased and conflicted, put on a good show before she promptly flipped out in epic proportions later.
the kingdom was distressed. or just stressed.
the mayor - who wanted to be the first to meet the cat and therefore retain his power - was not happy. but luckily the mayor was 3000 miles away, and cell phones these days have caller ID and the option of go-straight-to-voicemail. (ah, technology...)
the eagle was dissatisfied on many counts - some reasonable, some entirely not - but much effort was made by the kingdom, counsel, and cat to put the best foot forward and get the eagle used to the idea that the kingdom - approaching the beyond quarter-life of 30 - was not and would not be a royal dunce.
the eagle - contradicting herself left and right in a stubbornly valiant attempt to pound fist and stamp foot - was not convinced. she also appeared to be experiencing a midlife crisis of epic proportions, and generally weepy and sad. and certainly not in a state to accept certain truths such as the kingdom's misery from unrealistic expectations from the eagle and mayor, the kingdom's ability to fend for itself and make informed decisions for herself, and that perhaps the true King would come through despite circumstances not being perfect in the eyes of the eagle and mayor.
thus all the unnecessary back and forth went on and on, till the kingdom ended up on on the royal couch and mindlessly watch sportscenter all the live long day. though the eagle said that she trusted the kingdom and would be supportive - the obvious unhappiness bordering depression of the eagle was concerning .. and draining.
it all came to a head on the last day, when the eagle was in a tizzy preparing food and re-organizing the kitchen - which according to her was nonsensical and in need of much attention. (the kingdom liked it just fine the way it was). 2 days prior, the eagle was cleaning out the cupboards and found a jar of peanut butter - organic peanut butter. as an aside, organic peanut butter tends to separate the oil from the cream, since it doesn't contain all those chemicals that congeal regular peanut butter together.
the eagle promptly threw a hissyfit, claiming that the kingdom would surely die of poisoning from eating old peanut butter, and demanding that it be disposed of immediately. the kingdom insisted that the pb was fine, that it was bought recently and that was the way it was supposed to look. this went on and on for awhile, until the eagle gave up and acquiesed to leave the jar be.
fast forward to the last day, whence the kingdom examined the dishwasher before running it - only to find an empty jar of peanut butter in there. upon inquiry, the eagle defensively stuck to her guns, saying that the kingdom should not have had old peanut butter and it was for her own good.
at this point the kingdom exploded with frustration at having been given no respect in her own home and having her wishes blatantly ignored. she pointed out that this was her home and not the eagle's, and that the eagle had no right to go over her head to do whatever she wanted. the eagle refused to see the error of her ways, and a royal battle broke out. though she offered to replace the peanut butter, the kingdom did not agree that that would solve the issue of principle, which was that the eagle had no respect for boundaries - or respect period.
the kingdom contemplated eating the peanut butter out of the trash in order to prove it was fine (and to shock the eagle) but thought better of it. more because the trahs looked gross.
after dropping the eagle off in nj where she would spend the rest of her time with her friend, the kingdom felt sad and guilty that the eagle (and the mayor) could not be happy - and that she could not make them happy despite her best attempts. but such is life - unfair, nonsensical at times, but it is what it is. the kingdom then proceeded to work overtime to replenish funds depleted during the eagle's stay, and attempted to catch up on sleep and refill the emotional tank that was emptied.
the eagle thinks the kingdom is settling. the kingdom wonders what the difference is between settling and being realistic. or prioritizing the important things. the kingdom also thinks the eagle and mayor are crazy. as does the counsel. the cat is trying to understand, but drowning under work, school, and his parents' house having been demolished by a tree in the tornado.
and for those who are supremely confused by now ... the kingdom is me, the eagle is mom, the mayor is dad, the counsel is my cousin, and the cat is alan.
the end. for now.
over the past 2 weeks, the eagle landed and brought a whirlwind of tension, criticism, and havoc to the already overcommitted kingdom. meanwhile, the mayor (back in ca) stewed in his own juices that his reign of control was in jeopardy.
the kingdom, with some collaboration with the counsel, decided that this would be the opportune time to let the cat out of the bag. so with a valient effort, his suit, a fancy dinner, and all the korean he could muster - the cat met the eagle. the eagle, though obviously displeased and conflicted, put on a good show before she promptly flipped out in epic proportions later.
the kingdom was distressed. or just stressed.
the mayor - who wanted to be the first to meet the cat and therefore retain his power - was not happy. but luckily the mayor was 3000 miles away, and cell phones these days have caller ID and the option of go-straight-to-voicemail. (ah, technology...)
the eagle was dissatisfied on many counts - some reasonable, some entirely not - but much effort was made by the kingdom, counsel, and cat to put the best foot forward and get the eagle used to the idea that the kingdom - approaching the beyond quarter-life of 30 - was not and would not be a royal dunce.
the eagle - contradicting herself left and right in a stubbornly valiant attempt to pound fist and stamp foot - was not convinced. she also appeared to be experiencing a midlife crisis of epic proportions, and generally weepy and sad. and certainly not in a state to accept certain truths such as the kingdom's misery from unrealistic expectations from the eagle and mayor, the kingdom's ability to fend for itself and make informed decisions for herself, and that perhaps the true King would come through despite circumstances not being perfect in the eyes of the eagle and mayor.
thus all the unnecessary back and forth went on and on, till the kingdom ended up on on the royal couch and mindlessly watch sportscenter all the live long day. though the eagle said that she trusted the kingdom and would be supportive - the obvious unhappiness bordering depression of the eagle was concerning .. and draining.
it all came to a head on the last day, when the eagle was in a tizzy preparing food and re-organizing the kitchen - which according to her was nonsensical and in need of much attention. (the kingdom liked it just fine the way it was). 2 days prior, the eagle was cleaning out the cupboards and found a jar of peanut butter - organic peanut butter. as an aside, organic peanut butter tends to separate the oil from the cream, since it doesn't contain all those chemicals that congeal regular peanut butter together.
the eagle promptly threw a hissyfit, claiming that the kingdom would surely die of poisoning from eating old peanut butter, and demanding that it be disposed of immediately. the kingdom insisted that the pb was fine, that it was bought recently and that was the way it was supposed to look. this went on and on for awhile, until the eagle gave up and acquiesed to leave the jar be.
fast forward to the last day, whence the kingdom examined the dishwasher before running it - only to find an empty jar of peanut butter in there. upon inquiry, the eagle defensively stuck to her guns, saying that the kingdom should not have had old peanut butter and it was for her own good.
at this point the kingdom exploded with frustration at having been given no respect in her own home and having her wishes blatantly ignored. she pointed out that this was her home and not the eagle's, and that the eagle had no right to go over her head to do whatever she wanted. the eagle refused to see the error of her ways, and a royal battle broke out. though she offered to replace the peanut butter, the kingdom did not agree that that would solve the issue of principle, which was that the eagle had no respect for boundaries - or respect period.
the kingdom contemplated eating the peanut butter out of the trash in order to prove it was fine (and to shock the eagle) but thought better of it. more because the trahs looked gross.
after dropping the eagle off in nj where she would spend the rest of her time with her friend, the kingdom felt sad and guilty that the eagle (and the mayor) could not be happy - and that she could not make them happy despite her best attempts. but such is life - unfair, nonsensical at times, but it is what it is. the kingdom then proceeded to work overtime to replenish funds depleted during the eagle's stay, and attempted to catch up on sleep and refill the emotional tank that was emptied.
the eagle thinks the kingdom is settling. the kingdom wonders what the difference is between settling and being realistic. or prioritizing the important things. the kingdom also thinks the eagle and mayor are crazy. as does the counsel. the cat is trying to understand, but drowning under work, school, and his parents' house having been demolished by a tree in the tornado.
and for those who are supremely confused by now ... the kingdom is me, the eagle is mom, the mayor is dad, the counsel is my cousin, and the cat is alan.
the end. for now.
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
so hosed
don't think i've been this hosed since MIT. though i kind of missed the terminology...now when i say punt, i definitely mean kicking a football.
anyways.
i have this weird tendency to thrive on busy-ness, until i hit my saturation point - at which point i have a meltdown, often of epic proportions.
this semester has been slightly ridiculous, and i was trying to pinpoint what exactly was weighing me down:
work has been picking up (don't know how the boss keeps all his junk sorted, but i'm starting to lose track on which demands are from which projects. all i know is that everyone thinks their stuff is urgent, and that all of our projects are in places i don't want to visit because it's so dang cold most of the time). we're going to japan in dec and then biz trips will possibly abound - i don't mind travelling, depending on where i'm travelling to, but it does throw a wrench in my otherwise predeictable schedule. sometimes i feel like telling people that engineers aren't firefighters - so stop giving us fires that you think are so urgent they need our attention right this moment.
everybody wants my money. seriously, what's with mortgage and healthcare and insurances and everyone showing up with bills that are often erroneous and take forever to fix?? not cool.
tutoring is at an all-time high - which is great for financial and self-fulfillment of purpose and challenge realms but absolutely draining when juggling 8-10 kids, their schedules, my schedules, and last minute changes and prep for every possible contingency. luckily, 2 of my kids are done by november after their entrace exams, at which point i may have some room to breathe - but until then it's full steam ahead. i guess it's also that this year, half of my kids are on the slate for more than one subject - most are math plus a science, but then french has been thrown into the mix for a few of them. (though this is not as bizarre as last year when i had to try to learn spanish and latin on the fly - neither of which i've studied before). i actually had to turn some kids down because i couldn't take any more. thankful for the business - don't get me wrong - but up to my ears and a little weary from juggling.
football is probably my only reliable form of exercise at this point, which is pretty depressing because i'm way out of shape. i went from being the fastest last year to not even in the first line for sprints this year. it's depressing. that being said, it's fun and defense has been pretty good ... backup qb-ing is stressful beyond belief, considering i haven't been given practice time on offense much, and the playbook exploded this year. here's to hoping that the starting qb doesn't go down, bc ... sheez defense is so much easier to just perform. every year i sorely miss the thrillers, though. 2007 was still the best football year to date.
dodgeball is halfway thru the season and tonight will be my first game. i can't believe i've missed so many. but i hope i've still got it. and that my quads have recovered from last weekend's football scrimmages that left me walking like a cowboy the last few days. our team's record has been abysmal this season, i have no idea what's going on.
dating is indeed a 48 unit lab. too bad i consider it a 48 unit lab and he seems to consider it a 48 unit lecture. and despite having had many guy friends and brother types over the years, it still shocks me every day that guys are slobs. you think i'd get used to it, but no - i'm becoming monica more and more every day. if i had the time i would devise a pulley contraption to automatically lower the toilet seat after each flush, because that seems to be the only way that it's gonna go down. that being said, it's a sine wave and for the negatives there are positives. but that being said - if i ever have sons i will make habits of toilet seat etiquette.
my mom is coming to town in t-minus 2 days. part of me is looking forward to it, because i miss her and want to show her a good time. the majority of me is weighed with trepidation at the impending doom of her meeting alan, who she will undoutably dislike, by virtue of him being not korean, not a doctor. how miserable and annoyed she (and dad) will make me after that remains to be seen but i'm not even hoping for the best bc i see no light at the end of this tunnel. and this is after i warned him to not mention anything regarding his future plans that involve education, politics, and all sorts of other idealistic dreams of saving the world that no asian girl's parents are gonna want to hear.
church is getting somewhat shafted, with some feelings of guilt, but also vast relief that i stepped off small group leading this year. i've been meaning to get sports ministry up and running again but after the summer i was exhausted. plus the dating thing now means that we go to two churches - it's cool, but sundays are tiring, and now there are 2 communities to keep track of. i think pdanny is gonna single me out again - one sunday he took me by the hand to the corner, and prayed over me because he said he always caught me falling asleep during his sermons. (which was actually untrue because i actually like pd's sermons, but it's true i've been tired and my face prob looks awfully sleepy).
choir has been super fun now that we have new members (and a bass part) - but getting committment and consistency is ... well, it's a church thing. i think it's hard for me to do something and know that things could be better if we just practiced more or started on time ... but regardless it's still fun to sing.
tkd has effectively ceased, which is pretty depressing when i think about it. but i don't really have time to think about it most days.
i was super upset when i auditioned and was rejected from this orchestra this fall but...now that i think about it, i'm grateful to not have another committment. i think i would have died.
and if anyone managed to get through all that mental throwing up to get down here - i probably didn't mention that i hosted the pilot of this tv show about women in sports. hopefully the show gets picked up and we get sponsored to do more episodes, but here's the pilot ... a little cheesy, but it was fun. =)
http://www.psychedaboutsports.com/women.html
anyways.
i have this weird tendency to thrive on busy-ness, until i hit my saturation point - at which point i have a meltdown, often of epic proportions.
this semester has been slightly ridiculous, and i was trying to pinpoint what exactly was weighing me down:
work has been picking up (don't know how the boss keeps all his junk sorted, but i'm starting to lose track on which demands are from which projects. all i know is that everyone thinks their stuff is urgent, and that all of our projects are in places i don't want to visit because it's so dang cold most of the time). we're going to japan in dec and then biz trips will possibly abound - i don't mind travelling, depending on where i'm travelling to, but it does throw a wrench in my otherwise predeictable schedule. sometimes i feel like telling people that engineers aren't firefighters - so stop giving us fires that you think are so urgent they need our attention right this moment.
everybody wants my money. seriously, what's with mortgage and healthcare and insurances and everyone showing up with bills that are often erroneous and take forever to fix?? not cool.
tutoring is at an all-time high - which is great for financial and self-fulfillment of purpose and challenge realms but absolutely draining when juggling 8-10 kids, their schedules, my schedules, and last minute changes and prep for every possible contingency. luckily, 2 of my kids are done by november after their entrace exams, at which point i may have some room to breathe - but until then it's full steam ahead. i guess it's also that this year, half of my kids are on the slate for more than one subject - most are math plus a science, but then french has been thrown into the mix for a few of them. (though this is not as bizarre as last year when i had to try to learn spanish and latin on the fly - neither of which i've studied before). i actually had to turn some kids down because i couldn't take any more. thankful for the business - don't get me wrong - but up to my ears and a little weary from juggling.
football is probably my only reliable form of exercise at this point, which is pretty depressing because i'm way out of shape. i went from being the fastest last year to not even in the first line for sprints this year. it's depressing. that being said, it's fun and defense has been pretty good ... backup qb-ing is stressful beyond belief, considering i haven't been given practice time on offense much, and the playbook exploded this year. here's to hoping that the starting qb doesn't go down, bc ... sheez defense is so much easier to just perform. every year i sorely miss the thrillers, though. 2007 was still the best football year to date.
dodgeball is halfway thru the season and tonight will be my first game. i can't believe i've missed so many. but i hope i've still got it. and that my quads have recovered from last weekend's football scrimmages that left me walking like a cowboy the last few days. our team's record has been abysmal this season, i have no idea what's going on.
dating is indeed a 48 unit lab. too bad i consider it a 48 unit lab and he seems to consider it a 48 unit lecture. and despite having had many guy friends and brother types over the years, it still shocks me every day that guys are slobs. you think i'd get used to it, but no - i'm becoming monica more and more every day. if i had the time i would devise a pulley contraption to automatically lower the toilet seat after each flush, because that seems to be the only way that it's gonna go down. that being said, it's a sine wave and for the negatives there are positives. but that being said - if i ever have sons i will make habits of toilet seat etiquette.
my mom is coming to town in t-minus 2 days. part of me is looking forward to it, because i miss her and want to show her a good time. the majority of me is weighed with trepidation at the impending doom of her meeting alan, who she will undoutably dislike, by virtue of him being not korean, not a doctor. how miserable and annoyed she (and dad) will make me after that remains to be seen but i'm not even hoping for the best bc i see no light at the end of this tunnel. and this is after i warned him to not mention anything regarding his future plans that involve education, politics, and all sorts of other idealistic dreams of saving the world that no asian girl's parents are gonna want to hear.
church is getting somewhat shafted, with some feelings of guilt, but also vast relief that i stepped off small group leading this year. i've been meaning to get sports ministry up and running again but after the summer i was exhausted. plus the dating thing now means that we go to two churches - it's cool, but sundays are tiring, and now there are 2 communities to keep track of. i think pdanny is gonna single me out again - one sunday he took me by the hand to the corner, and prayed over me because he said he always caught me falling asleep during his sermons. (which was actually untrue because i actually like pd's sermons, but it's true i've been tired and my face prob looks awfully sleepy).
choir has been super fun now that we have new members (and a bass part) - but getting committment and consistency is ... well, it's a church thing. i think it's hard for me to do something and know that things could be better if we just practiced more or started on time ... but regardless it's still fun to sing.
tkd has effectively ceased, which is pretty depressing when i think about it. but i don't really have time to think about it most days.
i was super upset when i auditioned and was rejected from this orchestra this fall but...now that i think about it, i'm grateful to not have another committment. i think i would have died.
and if anyone managed to get through all that mental throwing up to get down here - i probably didn't mention that i hosted the pilot of this tv show about women in sports. hopefully the show gets picked up and we get sponsored to do more episodes, but here's the pilot ... a little cheesy, but it was fun. =)
http://www.psychedaboutsports.com/women.html
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