What I found disturbing about my MRI:
So he puts me on the table and locks my leg in (fine, I'm not going anywhere, but sure...) - and then slides me into the tube so that just my head is kind of sticking out. So far so good. The guy puts headphones on me with some radio station that I can barely hear - as if that was going to make any difference with all the racket that machine makes. So I'm stuck on this table, looking up...and I see directly above me is this little sign that says "warning - looking directly into laser may cause loss of vision". Or something like that. But the laser hold thing was RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE and I can't move. Even if I looked away, my eyeballs were still in line with it. WHO designed this freaking machine??
So I closed my eyes.
However, closing eyes at the end of a long day frequently leads to drowsiness. And getting sleepy in a foreign place means that I have a tendency to twitch. That would be no good considering I'm not supposed to move my leg at all. Oops...oh, well. I think I only dozed off for a little bit, before all the clanging and buzzing woke me up. MRI's as scary like that - they make these noises like machine guns shooting and you're strapped to a table inside of a tube. And if you've ever watched a movie with me, I jump at EVERYTHING.
Yeah well...results should be out at the end of the week. It's like having to wait for school acceptances or offer letters all over again...
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
worship
You know what I'm missing? Some good old-fashioned praise. In the Korean style. Not necessarily in the language, but...if you've ever gone to a Korean church, particularly in youth groups, there's a certain style of praise and worship. Ah, I miss the days of KCF (Korean Christian Fellowship - the community of my undergrad years). We were small, but...I don't know, there was something about it that's still very special to me. I remember that year that I went to NCPC small group and how much I loved worship on Fridays...
The thing that's difficult for me about going to a "white church" (although Redeemer has a lot of Asian attendees, it's definitely not an Asian church) is the musical worship. Over the years I've actually grown to appreciate hymns, and I was exposed to plenty of classical music growing up. However, having just hymns all the time makes me feel like I'm missing something. Even when I went to the evening service, it was the same old stuff, just in a jazz style. Which was cool, but for me, I just couldn't worship in that setting.
While Susan was visiting, we went to Flushing (home of all things fobbily Korean in NYC). One of the Korean stores we went into had a Christian bookstore-ish section. What caught my attention immediately was the music playing there - the CD was actually in Korean but it was fairly modern praise music. But totally Korean style.
The CD cost me $18.
I need to find me a Korean church. And not just for the reasons for which my parents want me to find a Korean church. (ie. Korean church --> Korean man). The more I'm away from it, the more I realize that that's the community that I'm missing.
It's just not the same to listen to recordings. A close substitute, but there's got to be corporate worship too...hrrm. Something more to think about, I suppose.
The thing that's difficult for me about going to a "white church" (although Redeemer has a lot of Asian attendees, it's definitely not an Asian church) is the musical worship. Over the years I've actually grown to appreciate hymns, and I was exposed to plenty of classical music growing up. However, having just hymns all the time makes me feel like I'm missing something. Even when I went to the evening service, it was the same old stuff, just in a jazz style. Which was cool, but for me, I just couldn't worship in that setting.
While Susan was visiting, we went to Flushing (home of all things fobbily Korean in NYC). One of the Korean stores we went into had a Christian bookstore-ish section. What caught my attention immediately was the music playing there - the CD was actually in Korean but it was fairly modern praise music. But totally Korean style.
The CD cost me $18.
I need to find me a Korean church. And not just for the reasons for which my parents want me to find a Korean church. (ie. Korean church --> Korean man). The more I'm away from it, the more I realize that that's the community that I'm missing.
It's just not the same to listen to recordings. A close substitute, but there's got to be corporate worship too...hrrm. Something more to think about, I suppose.
Monday, November 29, 2004
spam, cg2, knee
Wow. This spam filter thing is AMAZING. Though in a way, I'm kind of sad that my inbox is so empty...funny how even all that annoying spam made me think it was real mail. Haha, the lasting effect of Susan's visit this weekend. =) I can't believe that I was the less gimpy of the two of us...that can never be a good thing. But it was fun to catch up...man, I never realize how much I've missed people since I moved. (ie. visit me!!)
*********
cg2 is back. well. sort of.
*********
The knee is making progress. Enough to make me feel optimistic that all is not lost. Yet. MRI (or as Peter calls it: "knee test") is tomorrow...gosh I hate MRI's. For something that's not painful, it sure does make you nervous. All that clanging and being all clausterophobic (sp?) ...but yeah, thanks for praying, progress is progress! I was able to lift and bike today, and it wasn't excrutiating. It felt so good to sweat...how do people not exercise regularly and not feel disgusting? Sweating is so therapeutic...
*********
cg2 is back. well. sort of.
*********
The knee is making progress. Enough to make me feel optimistic that all is not lost. Yet. MRI (or as Peter calls it: "knee test") is tomorrow...gosh I hate MRI's. For something that's not painful, it sure does make you nervous. All that clanging and being all clausterophobic (sp?) ...but yeah, thanks for praying, progress is progress! I was able to lift and bike today, and it wasn't excrutiating. It felt so good to sweat...how do people not exercise regularly and not feel disgusting? Sweating is so therapeutic...
Saturday, November 27, 2004
what a feel-good day...
So yeah, family-is-cool part 2. Feel-good moment of the day 1 came when I walked in the door and saw Derek and Dylan wearing the shirts I'd gotten them from Colorado. And when S Jr showed up, he was wearing my Mexico shirt. Hrmm he wore that on Tuesday too, I hope he washed it...but yeah, it was nice to see my gifts going to good use. That's the best part about gift-giving - knowing that they didn't just shove stuff away in a closet somewhere.
I was a little apprehensive about intruding on Sabs' family thing today, but it turned out to be awesome. There was this huge mixup about what was actually going on, and when I showed up at 1pm like Sr told me to, it turned out that all the plans had changed. But I was content with playing with the boys and hanging out with the family.
It's really nice to be included in their family - good to see their mother again, if only briefly. We watched the tapes of my matches and she kept telling me I had to eat chicken and ginseng because I was so short. Um, yeah, no hope of getting any taller here. Got to have some good conversations with their sister and her husband...chatted with the niece and nephew...cousin showed up...etc. It was surprisingly...comfortable.
We played Texas hold 'em and it was just too stressful for me. I ended up winning in the end (jackpot of $12) but only because we had to leave and I got lucky. We all went all in and just flipped the cards, no bluffing, no betting. I can't bluff for the life of me. I kept trying to fold when I could have checked. Patrick laughed at me so much that after awhile he just started telling me what to do. And Jr dealt for me whenever I was the dealer. I think I could have figured out dealing, at least. But I don't plan on ever getting good at gambling so I guess it's not really worth it.
I was going to use my winnings to pay for my movie ticket but he didn't let me do that either. So now I have $12 but I feel kind of guilty having it. Maybe I'll give to to some homeless person today. We went to see National Treasure - pretty good movie. Well, I think Jr liked it more than I did...the kids (Derek and his two cousins) seemed to like it for the action but we thought it was more interesting in the historical sense. I just like seeing smart people, even if they're just acting smart. And the guy was supposed to have a degree in Mechanical Engineering from MIT so of course he had to be cool. =) Haha...
Feel-good moment of the day 2 came when Dylan had to go to bed and came out in his pajamas to say goodnight to everyone. He went around to each of us saying goodnight, and when he got to Derek he said "hug" and gave his brother a huge hug. Those boys...so cute.
It was really strange yet really cool to see Sabs being...normal people. It's very rare that I actually socialize with them, and just have fun. On the way home I told Jr I was going to have to knock him off his pedestal now. He just laughed.
I was a little apprehensive about intruding on Sabs' family thing today, but it turned out to be awesome. There was this huge mixup about what was actually going on, and when I showed up at 1pm like Sr told me to, it turned out that all the plans had changed. But I was content with playing with the boys and hanging out with the family.
It's really nice to be included in their family - good to see their mother again, if only briefly. We watched the tapes of my matches and she kept telling me I had to eat chicken and ginseng because I was so short. Um, yeah, no hope of getting any taller here. Got to have some good conversations with their sister and her husband...chatted with the niece and nephew...cousin showed up...etc. It was surprisingly...comfortable.
We played Texas hold 'em and it was just too stressful for me. I ended up winning in the end (jackpot of $12) but only because we had to leave and I got lucky. We all went all in and just flipped the cards, no bluffing, no betting. I can't bluff for the life of me. I kept trying to fold when I could have checked. Patrick laughed at me so much that after awhile he just started telling me what to do. And Jr dealt for me whenever I was the dealer. I think I could have figured out dealing, at least. But I don't plan on ever getting good at gambling so I guess it's not really worth it.
I was going to use my winnings to pay for my movie ticket but he didn't let me do that either. So now I have $12 but I feel kind of guilty having it. Maybe I'll give to to some homeless person today. We went to see National Treasure - pretty good movie. Well, I think Jr liked it more than I did...the kids (Derek and his two cousins) seemed to like it for the action but we thought it was more interesting in the historical sense. I just like seeing smart people, even if they're just acting smart. And the guy was supposed to have a degree in Mechanical Engineering from MIT so of course he had to be cool. =) Haha...
Feel-good moment of the day 2 came when Dylan had to go to bed and came out in his pajamas to say goodnight to everyone. He went around to each of us saying goodnight, and when he got to Derek he said "hug" and gave his brother a huge hug. Those boys...so cute.
It was really strange yet really cool to see Sabs being...normal people. It's very rare that I actually socialize with them, and just have fun. On the way home I told Jr I was going to have to knock him off his pedestal now. He just laughed.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
happy tg
Gosh that was a lot of food. Normally I'm not a fan of turkey but 고모 sure has a way with the bird...nothing like a good old-fashioned Korean Thanksgiving. A big turkey, stuffing, and all that crap that normal people eat (I still don't understand cranberry sauce from a can), but also with kimchee and other banchan...so good. Funny what training will do to you - my instant reaction was to refuse dessert and coffee. Or it's more like...if I'm going to stuff myself, I want it to be with meat and carbs, not with sugar and caffeine. Hahaha...
Got to see my girls today...Sammy and Sydney have gotten so much bigger, and Sydney can sort of talk now. Ah...I missed the girls. And tomorrow I get to hang out with my boys! It's been awhile since I've seen Derek and Dylan, too. Holidays are cool like that...lots of family (or "family" as my case may be). Still a little apprehensive as to what this lunch is about - usually everything Sabs want has a purpose. It sounds like a "just for fun" thing, but if it's a family thing then it feels weird to show up. We'll see, I suppose...
It dawned on me that one thing that I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving was the fact that despite being far from home and what-not, I had a lot of invitations for places to go to spend it. Even though I've only been here for a few months, I'm thankful that there are all these pockets of "family", in particular my extended family on both sides, the Etkins and Sabs. It makes it feel less lonely and more like home.
Got to see my girls today...Sammy and Sydney have gotten so much bigger, and Sydney can sort of talk now. Ah...I missed the girls. And tomorrow I get to hang out with my boys! It's been awhile since I've seen Derek and Dylan, too. Holidays are cool like that...lots of family (or "family" as my case may be). Still a little apprehensive as to what this lunch is about - usually everything Sabs want has a purpose. It sounds like a "just for fun" thing, but if it's a family thing then it feels weird to show up. We'll see, I suppose...
It dawned on me that one thing that I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving was the fact that despite being far from home and what-not, I had a lot of invitations for places to go to spend it. Even though I've only been here for a few months, I'm thankful that there are all these pockets of "family", in particular my extended family on both sides, the Etkins and Sabs. It makes it feel less lonely and more like home.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
in withdrawal
I was frantically trying to book plane tickets home for Christmas, and realized that my priorities are grossly heavy on Taekwondo. As in, trying to figure out the optimal days to go home based on when the dojang would be closed, when Sabs would be available to train me (assuming that my knee is OK by then and I'm still competing at Trials), and how many days I can afford to take off to sit on my butt at home because there's nowhere to train and no one to train with.
Oh yeah, I guess it's also important how many days of work I'm missing, but clearly that hasn't been a priority thus far...doh.
I didn't realize how much a part of my life this was until I busted my knee and couldn't do it anymore. Jr is right - it takes an injury that takes something everyday away to cause you to appreciate what you have with health. It freaking takes me forever to get anywhere. Particularly if anywhere involves stairs. *sigh* Well, he also said that despite all his knee problems now, he wouldn't have done it any differently, and that it was worth the pain. I hope when I'm 40 and arthritic I can say the same thing.
It's only been a day, and I'm already going into withdrawal. Sitting at the dojang on the side in plain clothes watching yesterday was so painful. Well, except for the fact that I was laughing at the demo kids as they laughed at themselves. =) Joe's a very interesting character...the way he teaches is a bit...eclectic. Not bad, just...different.
Off to PT to get tortured. No more toe-wiggling. Now it's down to business. Rawr...
Oh yeah, I guess it's also important how many days of work I'm missing, but clearly that hasn't been a priority thus far...doh.
I didn't realize how much a part of my life this was until I busted my knee and couldn't do it anymore. Jr is right - it takes an injury that takes something everyday away to cause you to appreciate what you have with health. It freaking takes me forever to get anywhere. Particularly if anywhere involves stairs. *sigh* Well, he also said that despite all his knee problems now, he wouldn't have done it any differently, and that it was worth the pain. I hope when I'm 40 and arthritic I can say the same thing.
It's only been a day, and I'm already going into withdrawal. Sitting at the dojang on the side in plain clothes watching yesterday was so painful. Well, except for the fact that I was laughing at the demo kids as they laughed at themselves. =) Joe's a very interesting character...the way he teaches is a bit...eclectic. Not bad, just...different.
Off to PT to get tortured. No more toe-wiggling. Now it's down to business. Rawr...
"힘내"
Quote of the week (from James): "Pain heals, Sabs dig scars, and glory lasts forever."
HAHAHA. Jaac cracks me up. Well, if Sabs dig scars, I've got plenty of them. From the 8 huge disgusting bugbites I got to the 5 bruises that actually turned hard to the furthering of my back strain to whatever is actually wrong with my knee...this is the most physical pain I've been in after a tournament. Actually I'm really worried about my knee, it's either my MCL or meniscus or both. Rawr. RAWR. Trish thought it wasn't torn, Dr. Varlotta thinks it is. Won't know anything for sure until the MRI next Tuesday - but the fate of my chances of making Team for Worlds depends on how badly I busted my knee...
They say I'll make it back in time. And in my book, Sabs are never wrong. *sigh* I feel like a kid, just blindly trusting whatever your parents say is true. And I wish it were so, to be able to believe that someone else always knows better. But at least for now, in the week before my MRI...I have to believe them. So here's to positive thinking (and a whole lot of prayer...)
"Don't worry about it more than you have to...힘내"
HAHAHA. Jaac cracks me up. Well, if Sabs dig scars, I've got plenty of them. From the 8 huge disgusting bugbites I got to the 5 bruises that actually turned hard to the furthering of my back strain to whatever is actually wrong with my knee...this is the most physical pain I've been in after a tournament. Actually I'm really worried about my knee, it's either my MCL or meniscus or both. Rawr. RAWR. Trish thought it wasn't torn, Dr. Varlotta thinks it is. Won't know anything for sure until the MRI next Tuesday - but the fate of my chances of making Team for Worlds depends on how badly I busted my knee...
They say I'll make it back in time. And in my book, Sabs are never wrong. *sigh* I feel like a kid, just blindly trusting whatever your parents say is true. And I wish it were so, to be able to believe that someone else always knows better. But at least for now, in the week before my MRI...I have to believe them. So here's to positive thinking (and a whole lot of prayer...)
"Don't worry about it more than you have to...힘내"
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Monday, November 15, 2004
"life isn't a bed of roses"
The Sabi-nuggets of wisdom contradict themselves these days. Life is not a bed of roses (whatever that means, why would you want to sleep on a bunch of dead flowers?) - and life isn't fair. But they also say that I have to be positive and make the best out of any situation. Well, you can't do both. If I accept that life isn't fair, then that's being realistic and that's being negative. I'd get yelled at for that. If I try to be optimistic I'll just be disappointed and then I'll be sad. I'd get yelled at for that too.
So it's official, no Team USA uniforms for Pan Ams. They suck. Maybe I should find the Korea uniform that Saerom gave me from Collegiate Worlds and wear that. I have a bunch of USA uniforms from Collegiate Worlds, but I'm seriously debating just wearing a blank one. If there's one sad thing I've learned from all this, it's that there's only one person who's going to look out for me and care about me: me. So I should just represent the country of myself. Well no, if I'm going by support, then I should wear New York stuff because they're the only ones being supportive. *sigh*
Just want this all to be over. I don't care anymore. Maybe I'll just sleep on the beach for a week and at least get rid of the bags under my eyes.
So it's official, no Team USA uniforms for Pan Ams. They suck. Maybe I should find the Korea uniform that Saerom gave me from Collegiate Worlds and wear that. I have a bunch of USA uniforms from Collegiate Worlds, but I'm seriously debating just wearing a blank one. If there's one sad thing I've learned from all this, it's that there's only one person who's going to look out for me and care about me: me. So I should just represent the country of myself. Well no, if I'm going by support, then I should wear New York stuff because they're the only ones being supportive. *sigh*
Just want this all to be over. I don't care anymore. Maybe I'll just sleep on the beach for a week and at least get rid of the bags under my eyes.
teen angst
Why watch Dawson's Creek when you can just witness it for yourself? I guess I forgot what it's like to be a teenager and how life-and-death it seems to like someone or think you're in love and be rebuffed or realize that it's not always magical like in the movies.
I mean...it's reality. Sometimes "love" (and I put that in quotes because I don't really believe that teenagers really understand what it is when they call it that) just isn't enough. As impossible as it seems to get to the point where two people are interested in each other at the same time - once that happens it doesn't necessarily mean that they should date or that it's happily ever after.
But then again, how to explain that to someone who's head over heels. I guess being able to control emotions is something that builds with time and maturity. But yes, it does suck quite a bit during.
I remember James (Choung) used to always say there are two factors: the right person, and the right time. Sounds so simple, yet can feel so complicated.
As much as I wasn't a huge fan of Joshua Harris, seeing all this angst makes me want to recommend "I kissed dating goodbye" to people. Well, I think it's age-appropriate for high schoolers anyways. This whole "guarding-your-heart" thing - I totally believe in it. Well, at least for those of us who are far too emotionally driven. There has to be something that keeps your heart in check, especially when you know it dominates over your self.
Though really...they should just focus on getting into college. Haha...how insensitive of me but...it's much easier to be practical when you're an observer.
I mean...it's reality. Sometimes "love" (and I put that in quotes because I don't really believe that teenagers really understand what it is when they call it that) just isn't enough. As impossible as it seems to get to the point where two people are interested in each other at the same time - once that happens it doesn't necessarily mean that they should date or that it's happily ever after.
But then again, how to explain that to someone who's head over heels. I guess being able to control emotions is something that builds with time and maturity. But yes, it does suck quite a bit during.
I remember James (Choung) used to always say there are two factors: the right person, and the right time. Sounds so simple, yet can feel so complicated.
As much as I wasn't a huge fan of Joshua Harris, seeing all this angst makes me want to recommend "I kissed dating goodbye" to people. Well, I think it's age-appropriate for high schoolers anyways. This whole "guarding-your-heart" thing - I totally believe in it. Well, at least for those of us who are far too emotionally driven. There has to be something that keeps your heart in check, especially when you know it dominates over your self.
Though really...they should just focus on getting into college. Haha...how insensitive of me but...it's much easier to be practical when you're an observer.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
me myself and i
RAWR:
1) Leaving for Pan Ams in 2 days. It's really truly amazing how this is supposed to be my first national team and the biggest-deal tournament I'm going to - and that no one cares. Well, maybe not no one, but considering that we have to take care of all our own arrangements for the trip, we're not travelling as a team, possibly not even all staying at the same hotel or eating in the same place...that it's almost certain at this point that we're not getting team warmups or uniforms...that it was "suggested" that we stick around to cheer for each other...it's really quite discouraging. I guess it's just another tournament then.
Even more upsetting is the fact that Sabs aren't coming. Even if our team ends up fragmented, everyone else on the team will have other teammates, parents, coaches coming to watch and cheer and support them. I hate having to ask Sabs repeatedly whether they'll be there for something or not. I hate asking people for things in general. It's like - there's a really big tournament coming up and it's very important - would it kill people to offer or otherwise just DO things to help?
2) Things that hurt - just trying to hang on...goodness gracious please pray for me, my body just has to hang in there for one more week.
Back (strained)
Instep (swollen)
Knee (sore)
Shin(s) (sore)
Toe(s) (sprained)
Thumb (sprained)
Hip Flexor (pulled)
Hamstring (pulled)
3) Richard forgot my birthday. He apologized profusely but that just makes me more sad.
자식은 키워도 소용이 없어.
1) Leaving for Pan Ams in 2 days. It's really truly amazing how this is supposed to be my first national team and the biggest-deal tournament I'm going to - and that no one cares. Well, maybe not no one, but considering that we have to take care of all our own arrangements for the trip, we're not travelling as a team, possibly not even all staying at the same hotel or eating in the same place...that it's almost certain at this point that we're not getting team warmups or uniforms...that it was "suggested" that we stick around to cheer for each other...it's really quite discouraging. I guess it's just another tournament then.
Even more upsetting is the fact that Sabs aren't coming. Even if our team ends up fragmented, everyone else on the team will have other teammates, parents, coaches coming to watch and cheer and support them. I hate having to ask Sabs repeatedly whether they'll be there for something or not. I hate asking people for things in general. It's like - there's a really big tournament coming up and it's very important - would it kill people to offer or otherwise just DO things to help?
2) Things that hurt - just trying to hang on...goodness gracious please pray for me, my body just has to hang in there for one more week.
Back (strained)
Instep (swollen)
Knee (sore)
Shin(s) (sore)
Toe(s) (sprained)
Thumb (sprained)
Hip Flexor (pulled)
Hamstring (pulled)
3) Richard forgot my birthday. He apologized profusely but that just makes me more sad.
자식은 키워도 소용이 없어.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
HAHAHA...
I'm dying. My stomach hurts from laughing so much...
adolfo: "good thinking. no wonder u'r the brains."
me: "if i'm the brains, what does that make you and james?"
adolfo: "james is the muscle. and i am the pretty one."
HAHAHA....
This from the boy who's supposed to be my TA in kids advanced sparring...
me: "so why do we check?"
Frankie: "to throw the other person off"
Brenden: "to make your opponent move"
Adolfo: "to look pretty!"
adolfo: "good thinking. no wonder u'r the brains."
me: "if i'm the brains, what does that make you and james?"
adolfo: "james is the muscle. and i am the pretty one."
HAHAHA....
This from the boy who's supposed to be my TA in kids advanced sparring...
me: "so why do we check?"
Frankie: "to throw the other person off"
Brenden: "to make your opponent move"
Adolfo: "to look pretty!"
for fun
"Above all, really enjoy your sport. When you are passionate about what you are doing and love doing it, you can do anything." -Carole Merle
S Jr is the man. Two hard training days but they were so good. And surprisingly, so fun. I think it's because he'll train with me instead of just training me. At least these days. So it's kind of fun to make him work hard too. At least, it gives me great satisfaction to fake him out. Like "haha, I got you". Besides, it makes me feel like less of a burden or a "taker" if I'm being a target and giving him a hard time too. As much as I loved working out with Rich last year, and as much as that was so good for me - it's always hard when you know that you're a burden on the other person and they're not getting anything out of it for themselves.
But it was nice of him to come in on Friday to work out. I dunno, I guess it was cool to have the dojang to ourselves and not have other people just watching from the side, commenting or otherwise talking. Not that that should matter, because I should learn to tune them out and not be distracted. But still - it does make a difference because you have to be aware of what you say and do because people are watching and listening...and even when people cheer or stuff from the side, it affects things. Well, I guess it depends on whether they're cheering for or against you, haha.
It was nice to just be alone and just...work. Made it a lot easier to communicate, gave the freedom to be silly, and generally made it fun. Esp. when sparring, we sparred Friday and today for awhile and it was the most fun I've had in a long time. I think for him too, never seen him actually smile that much. Haha. Then again, if I'd popped him with doubles the way he got me, I'd probably grin too. I guess the biggest difference lately has been that I'm enjoying sparring and not so stressed out, even though big tournaments have been happening all around me. Not sure what brought about the change in attitude, nor do I know how long it'll last...but it's been good.
Actually I do know. It's because they're happy with me. Being on the sh*tlist always makes my sparring go to crap. 3 days till I leave for Pan Ams...crazy.
Good luck to Liza, Erica, Rich, and Nathan (and everyone else from MIT/Boston, and James if he's super cool and decides to go) at All-Stars tomorrow! Yeah yeah bigger fish to fry, I guess, but I'm jealous of no longer being eligible for collegiate stuff...it was fun while it lasted, but it didn't last very long...growing up stinks.
S Jr is the man. Two hard training days but they were so good. And surprisingly, so fun. I think it's because he'll train with me instead of just training me. At least these days. So it's kind of fun to make him work hard too. At least, it gives me great satisfaction to fake him out. Like "haha, I got you". Besides, it makes me feel like less of a burden or a "taker" if I'm being a target and giving him a hard time too. As much as I loved working out with Rich last year, and as much as that was so good for me - it's always hard when you know that you're a burden on the other person and they're not getting anything out of it for themselves.
But it was nice of him to come in on Friday to work out. I dunno, I guess it was cool to have the dojang to ourselves and not have other people just watching from the side, commenting or otherwise talking. Not that that should matter, because I should learn to tune them out and not be distracted. But still - it does make a difference because you have to be aware of what you say and do because people are watching and listening...and even when people cheer or stuff from the side, it affects things. Well, I guess it depends on whether they're cheering for or against you, haha.
It was nice to just be alone and just...work. Made it a lot easier to communicate, gave the freedom to be silly, and generally made it fun. Esp. when sparring, we sparred Friday and today for awhile and it was the most fun I've had in a long time. I think for him too, never seen him actually smile that much. Haha. Then again, if I'd popped him with doubles the way he got me, I'd probably grin too. I guess the biggest difference lately has been that I'm enjoying sparring and not so stressed out, even though big tournaments have been happening all around me. Not sure what brought about the change in attitude, nor do I know how long it'll last...but it's been good.
Actually I do know. It's because they're happy with me. Being on the sh*tlist always makes my sparring go to crap. 3 days till I leave for Pan Ams...crazy.
Good luck to Liza, Erica, Rich, and Nathan (and everyone else from MIT/Boston, and James if he's super cool and decides to go) at All-Stars tomorrow! Yeah yeah bigger fish to fry, I guess, but I'm jealous of no longer being eligible for collegiate stuff...it was fun while it lasted, but it didn't last very long...growing up stinks.
sponges
Mua-ha-ha. Sponges. A "sponge" is someone who absorbs the habits and sayings of someone else and becomes a carbon copy of them. This whole time I thought Adolfo was just a sponge, because he was slowly turning into me. It all started when he was making fun of how I say "dude!" all the time. And now he says it more than me. Hahaha...or how he and Scott have picked up "rawr" and "grr". Apparently on the plane ride back from Nationals, he started doing that thing that I do with my mouth when I'm displeased. (You know what I'm talking about if you know me well).
BUT. The part that I find hilarious is when Sabs start picking up the strange things I say or do. Like last week when Sr let out a "RAWR" during a drill when he was mad at himself. I nearly died. Today, Jr referred to Adolfo as "Adodo". HAHA I was almost crying...
Maybe I'm just that weird that people pick up my strangeness...haha I don't care, it's amusing to me. =)
BUT. The part that I find hilarious is when Sabs start picking up the strange things I say or do. Like last week when Sr let out a "RAWR" during a drill when he was mad at himself. I nearly died. Today, Jr referred to Adolfo as "Adodo". HAHA I was almost crying...
Maybe I'm just that weird that people pick up my strangeness...haha I don't care, it's amusing to me. =)
Friday, November 12, 2004
funny things heard around the office...
I was walking past some people talking and I hear
"you can't tell this is a toupee, can you?"
HAHAHA...I just kept on walking...
"you can't tell this is a toupee, can you?"
HAHAHA...I just kept on walking...
1994
"But time makes you bolder
children get older
I'm getting older too..."
It's amazing how fast time flies. Ryan told me today that he's taking his driving test to get his lisence. Goodness gracious, Ryan behind wheels. Ryan who used to cry in the dojang when his dad would leave until he had his red power ranger. Ryan who was 30 pounds and wanted to hold my hand crossing the street when he was 5. Ryan whose dad would be my TKD chauffeur until I got my lisence and became his. Ryan who used to be so excited about Gran Turismo and want me to come over and play video games. Who danced to Boyz II Men's "On Bended Knee" for the Christmas party when he was 6. Who could outrun me by the time he was 9 and I was 17. Who could outspar me by the time he was 13 and I was 21. Who developed a potty mouth and swore like a sailor by 14. Who asked me for advice on what classes to take in high school.
And now he's going to get his driver's lisence. And in two years he'll be going to college. And he's probably taller than me.
It's like I blinked and suddenly 10 years passed. And I didn't even notice that we were growing up all this time. To me, he'll still be that little shy 5 year old that came to the dojang with his little buzz cut, barely big enough to take class, with his size 000 uniform hemmed down so his pants wouldn't drag. He was my original little bro.
10 years ago it was 1994. I was 13-14 years old. I went to my first Jr. Nationals in Chicago as a red belt, lost in the quarter-finals and cried. I tested for my black belt and had a piano recital on the same day. I graduated from middle school and had to wear a skirt and I was mad. My best friend moved away to Nebraska. I was a freshman in high school and moved to a new town and had to make all new friends. I had a virtual bowl cut, at least that's what it looked like from the front because I always wore my hair in a ponytail. I was starting to audition for "real" youth orchestras. I got a B+ once in English and thought my world was going to end. I tried out for the softball team and was cut in the 2nd round. I went on my first retreat ever with my church youth group. I went to my first KUMC (Korean United Methodist Church) summer camp.
1994 was a good year.
I wonder who will trigger me to look back and be nostalgic in another 10 years. And what I'll remember of 2004.
Not that he reads my blog, but good luck today, Ry. Thanks for all the good times, and making me remember them.
children get older
I'm getting older too..."
It's amazing how fast time flies. Ryan told me today that he's taking his driving test to get his lisence. Goodness gracious, Ryan behind wheels. Ryan who used to cry in the dojang when his dad would leave until he had his red power ranger. Ryan who was 30 pounds and wanted to hold my hand crossing the street when he was 5. Ryan whose dad would be my TKD chauffeur until I got my lisence and became his. Ryan who used to be so excited about Gran Turismo and want me to come over and play video games. Who danced to Boyz II Men's "On Bended Knee" for the Christmas party when he was 6. Who could outrun me by the time he was 9 and I was 17. Who could outspar me by the time he was 13 and I was 21. Who developed a potty mouth and swore like a sailor by 14. Who asked me for advice on what classes to take in high school.
And now he's going to get his driver's lisence. And in two years he'll be going to college. And he's probably taller than me.
It's like I blinked and suddenly 10 years passed. And I didn't even notice that we were growing up all this time. To me, he'll still be that little shy 5 year old that came to the dojang with his little buzz cut, barely big enough to take class, with his size 000 uniform hemmed down so his pants wouldn't drag. He was my original little bro.
10 years ago it was 1994. I was 13-14 years old. I went to my first Jr. Nationals in Chicago as a red belt, lost in the quarter-finals and cried. I tested for my black belt and had a piano recital on the same day. I graduated from middle school and had to wear a skirt and I was mad. My best friend moved away to Nebraska. I was a freshman in high school and moved to a new town and had to make all new friends. I had a virtual bowl cut, at least that's what it looked like from the front because I always wore my hair in a ponytail. I was starting to audition for "real" youth orchestras. I got a B+ once in English and thought my world was going to end. I tried out for the softball team and was cut in the 2nd round. I went on my first retreat ever with my church youth group. I went to my first KUMC (Korean United Methodist Church) summer camp.
1994 was a good year.
I wonder who will trigger me to look back and be nostalgic in another 10 years. And what I'll remember of 2004.
Not that he reads my blog, but good luck today, Ry. Thanks for all the good times, and making me remember them.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
"Make her cry!"
Got to work out with Sr last night some, and then sparred with both of them. After going a long time with Sr, Jr came up and they switched. Sometimes when they're sparring, they'll tell each other stuff in Korean - which is fine when they're sparring Adolfo or whoever, but sometimes I think they forget that I understand.
Sr: "울어버려"
Jr: "What?"
Sr: "Make her cry!"
This again. So Jr puts on his Mean Face and starts growling and stuff. This would actually be really funny if not for the fact that it scares the crap out of me when he does that.
BUT I beat him in sudden death! Well, says Sr. I find it really funny that they use me to make fun of each other. Like I'll spar one of them and the other will goad him. And then they'll switch. Faked him to back kick and then axe kicked him. Totally pulled it, but it was there. Still can't bring myself to kick him in the face.
Boo they're probably not coming to Pan Ams. BOO. =(
Sr: "You're a big girl now...we can't even make you cry"
Jr: "I almost did at the end!"
Sr: "No you didn't"
Sr: "울어버려"
Jr: "What?"
Sr: "Make her cry!"
This again. So Jr puts on his Mean Face and starts growling and stuff. This would actually be really funny if not for the fact that it scares the crap out of me when he does that.
BUT I beat him in sudden death! Well, says Sr. I find it really funny that they use me to make fun of each other. Like I'll spar one of them and the other will goad him. And then they'll switch. Faked him to back kick and then axe kicked him. Totally pulled it, but it was there. Still can't bring myself to kick him in the face.
Boo they're probably not coming to Pan Ams. BOO. =(
Sr: "You're a big girl now...we can't even make you cry"
Jr: "I almost did at the end!"
Sr: "No you didn't"
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Monday, November 08, 2004
back from nationals
Well. The winning streak had to end sometime. But of all the times I've come in 2nd, this has to have been the most well-earned. I felt pretty good about my performance. And though there are definitely things I could have done better, there were significant breakthroughs. She's going down next time.
And most of all, I made Sr proud. And that meant the world to me. Esp. after the devastating reaction after Greece. Night and day.
"So...was it worth it for you to come?"
"Yes"
"Good...are you sure?"
"YES. Have you ever seen me smile at a tournament before?"
"Um. I don't know."
"Well, I don't smile very often. And today I did. 잘했어."
And most of all, I made Sr proud. And that meant the world to me. Esp. after the devastating reaction after Greece. Night and day.
"So...was it worth it for you to come?"
"Yes"
"Good...are you sure?"
"YES. Have you ever seen me smile at a tournament before?"
"Um. I don't know."
"Well, I don't smile very often. And today I did. 잘했어."
Thursday, November 04, 2004
I'm healed!
Mark 2
Jesus Heals a Paralytic
1A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."
6Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, 7"Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?"
8Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, "Why are you thinking these things? 9Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? 10But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . . ." He said to the paralytic, 11"I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." 12He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"
******************
Dude. It's a miracle, thanks for everyone who prayed for my back and my sickness. I have to admit, I was getting really worried since I'm fighting on Sunday and I haven't been able to work out at all this week because of either being weak from not being able to eat, or not being able to do anything but sit there because of my back pains.
The stomach was slowly getting better, but the back really wasn't showing any signs of significant improvement. Physical therapy helped a little for the time being, but even today I was sore and having trouble bending and twisting.
And then tonight I went to the dojang just wishing that I could have ONE day of workout before Nationals...and what do you know, He heard my cry. I definitely felt tired from being sick all week, but it felt SO GOOD to be able to kick and not have pain shooting up my back. It's amazing how immobilizing a back strain can be...
Praise God, seriously, this must have been what the crippled man must have felt like. It's so freeing. Pls pray that I'd be healed completely and can compete to the fullest of my ability on Sunday! Off to pack for Colorado...
*******************
heehee and Sr called me sparky today. I love when he does that, I don't know why I find it so funny. When I was tired on the drills and he was like "do you need to be hit on the head?" Only Koreans would use that statement as a positive motivation thing. Haha. Well, it worked. =)
I'm so glad he's coming. I'm ready now. Screw it all I'm going to be national champion this year.
Jesus Heals a Paralytic
1A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."
6Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, 7"Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?"
8Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, "Why are you thinking these things? 9Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? 10But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . . ." He said to the paralytic, 11"I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." 12He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"
******************
Dude. It's a miracle, thanks for everyone who prayed for my back and my sickness. I have to admit, I was getting really worried since I'm fighting on Sunday and I haven't been able to work out at all this week because of either being weak from not being able to eat, or not being able to do anything but sit there because of my back pains.
The stomach was slowly getting better, but the back really wasn't showing any signs of significant improvement. Physical therapy helped a little for the time being, but even today I was sore and having trouble bending and twisting.
And then tonight I went to the dojang just wishing that I could have ONE day of workout before Nationals...and what do you know, He heard my cry. I definitely felt tired from being sick all week, but it felt SO GOOD to be able to kick and not have pain shooting up my back. It's amazing how immobilizing a back strain can be...
Praise God, seriously, this must have been what the crippled man must have felt like. It's so freeing. Pls pray that I'd be healed completely and can compete to the fullest of my ability on Sunday! Off to pack for Colorado...
*******************
heehee and Sr called me sparky today. I love when he does that, I don't know why I find it so funny. When I was tired on the drills and he was like "do you need to be hit on the head?" Only Koreans would use that statement as a positive motivation thing. Haha. Well, it worked. =)
I'm so glad he's coming. I'm ready now. Screw it all I'm going to be national champion this year.
last thoughts on election
The commentary on the election that made the most sense to me. (From jmo's blog). I think it just came down to the fact that the Republicans did a better campaigning job than the Democrats. How else can you explain the fact that he won Ohio? And when it came down to it, Bush did get the popular vote as well.
************
The Dems lost because they are pro-choice and pro-gay marriage. Plain, simple, sad.
I know it's a narrow aspect, but the reason I pick this one to rant about is a) I'm biased personally, fair enough right? and b) it sums up one of my fundamental problems with the process. First, the facts I am basing this on: exit polls said of the ~20% of americans who said "moral values" were their most important issue, 80% voted for bush. Some guy on network news said about 1 in 5 voters were white evangelical christians. There are many other stats like the vote of weekly churchgoers skewing heavily for Bush. So what does that mean? To me, it means that for a good chunk of those who voted for Bush, they were *most* scared about what Kerry being in office would do to the moral compass of the country, while for most of those who voted for Kerry, they were most concerned with jobs, the economy, the ridiculously large deficit. While abortion and gay marriage themselves are not the issues which decided the election, Kerry's stances on those made people concerned about his values overall (note some catholic priests insisting that Kerry be refused communion, and Bush splitting the catholic vote with him). Personally, I know a lot of christians who were torn between the "moral" choice of Bush vs. the "everything else" choice of Kerry...they much preferred Kerry except for these absolute moral stances they felt led to support as christians. Anyway the real thing that makes me mad was that people were forced to pick between the two. If Kerry were allowed to be anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage like Bush, I think he would have won by a landslide (electorally). But no, a democratic candidate could never support those views. There really needs to be less slavish devotion to the two party system here.
Just in case this made me sound too partisan, I think Bush is a horrendous muckup too. I think there are a significant number people who voted for him out of misinformation as well (ie they actually still believe there were WMDs in Iraq). Here's to hoping for better choices and a better system in the future (did you know over $1 billion was spent on this presidential election? sickening).
************
So as everyone rants and raves about the election and whatever, I've been doing some thinking as well.
Even though people thought I was a narrow-minded Bush-supporter - and not that I need to defend myself - I did in the end vote for Kerry. And not just because the 3 men in my life mandated that I do so. (Well, 2 did, 1 gave me a choice but I knew where he stood).
I never actually defended Bush - I just never supported Kerry. There's a difference, and I didn't appreciate being insulted and chewed out all the time. This is why I hate politics and in general, can't stand liberals.
Despite disagreeing with Kerry's moral standpoints, I voted for him because I believe that Bush has proved himself unworthy for a second Presidency based on the last 4 years and that the country needed a new face. Not that Kerry's face is attractive, but it's new. And that was enough to swing my vote. (My vote, which didn't matter anyways).
It was actually a very tough decision, and for everyone out there who yelled at me that not everything is black and white, I say the same about this election. Kerry is not good and Bush is not evil. It's not as clear-cut as that. As a Christian I feel compelled to support certain things and this election was the case where it forced me to choose between two candidates who were entirely unappealing, and who both had things on their agenda that I did or didn't support. God calls us to take care of his creation (the environment) and to care for the poor (social justice). God also calls us to a moral standard and in the relativistic society that we live in, the moral degradation is appalling as everyone seeks to live out what they think will make them "happy".
That being said, I think that Bush has given a bad impression of evangelical Christians and that makes me sad. I was actually quite offended during one of Sab Jr's rants when he said "so you would vote for Bush just because he's an EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN?" Clearly, I didn't vote for him, but what I think people don't understand is that we're ALL sinners - Christians are just those that are aware that we are. But we still sin, we still struggle, and we're nowhere near perfect and shouldn't claim to be.
This drunk guy on the train next to me last night was going on and on about Bush and how he sucked and how the white man was killing the black man, blah blah blah. (He REEKED of alcohol). But towards the end he said this: "he will have to answer to God one day". And Joe (this guy from TKD who took the train downtown with me) replied "we all will".
And it's true. One day all this arguing and media and nonsense won't matter because in the end you don't get to argue with God. And we'll all have to account for all of our actions, and when that time comes, there will be A LOT to account for. When I look at this election and the uproar that it's caused, it just points out to me the fundamental truth that there is so much sin in this world and that the world needs Jesus. If Bush is not being the ambassador for Christ that he ought to be - then that's just sad but all we can do is pray for him because he's in a position to do great or terrible things in the next 4 years.
James (Cadogan) told me that I should vote because if I didn't, then I didn't have a right to complain about the outcome. I think that's a bad mentality to have, because if America is a nation of complainers, then that's not productive.
What's done is done and no amount of ranting and raving is going to make Kerry the President. I think we should just focus on praying for Bush and that he would be guided by God and not by man, whether it be himself, his party, or whoever. And my conclusion would have been the same had Kerry won.
************
The Dems lost because they are pro-choice and pro-gay marriage. Plain, simple, sad.
I know it's a narrow aspect, but the reason I pick this one to rant about is a) I'm biased personally, fair enough right? and b) it sums up one of my fundamental problems with the process. First, the facts I am basing this on: exit polls said of the ~20% of americans who said "moral values" were their most important issue, 80% voted for bush. Some guy on network news said about 1 in 5 voters were white evangelical christians. There are many other stats like the vote of weekly churchgoers skewing heavily for Bush. So what does that mean? To me, it means that for a good chunk of those who voted for Bush, they were *most* scared about what Kerry being in office would do to the moral compass of the country, while for most of those who voted for Kerry, they were most concerned with jobs, the economy, the ridiculously large deficit. While abortion and gay marriage themselves are not the issues which decided the election, Kerry's stances on those made people concerned about his values overall (note some catholic priests insisting that Kerry be refused communion, and Bush splitting the catholic vote with him). Personally, I know a lot of christians who were torn between the "moral" choice of Bush vs. the "everything else" choice of Kerry...they much preferred Kerry except for these absolute moral stances they felt led to support as christians. Anyway the real thing that makes me mad was that people were forced to pick between the two. If Kerry were allowed to be anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage like Bush, I think he would have won by a landslide (electorally). But no, a democratic candidate could never support those views. There really needs to be less slavish devotion to the two party system here.
Just in case this made me sound too partisan, I think Bush is a horrendous muckup too. I think there are a significant number people who voted for him out of misinformation as well (ie they actually still believe there were WMDs in Iraq). Here's to hoping for better choices and a better system in the future (did you know over $1 billion was spent on this presidential election? sickening).
************
So as everyone rants and raves about the election and whatever, I've been doing some thinking as well.
Even though people thought I was a narrow-minded Bush-supporter - and not that I need to defend myself - I did in the end vote for Kerry. And not just because the 3 men in my life mandated that I do so. (Well, 2 did, 1 gave me a choice but I knew where he stood).
I never actually defended Bush - I just never supported Kerry. There's a difference, and I didn't appreciate being insulted and chewed out all the time. This is why I hate politics and in general, can't stand liberals.
Despite disagreeing with Kerry's moral standpoints, I voted for him because I believe that Bush has proved himself unworthy for a second Presidency based on the last 4 years and that the country needed a new face. Not that Kerry's face is attractive, but it's new. And that was enough to swing my vote. (My vote, which didn't matter anyways).
It was actually a very tough decision, and for everyone out there who yelled at me that not everything is black and white, I say the same about this election. Kerry is not good and Bush is not evil. It's not as clear-cut as that. As a Christian I feel compelled to support certain things and this election was the case where it forced me to choose between two candidates who were entirely unappealing, and who both had things on their agenda that I did or didn't support. God calls us to take care of his creation (the environment) and to care for the poor (social justice). God also calls us to a moral standard and in the relativistic society that we live in, the moral degradation is appalling as everyone seeks to live out what they think will make them "happy".
That being said, I think that Bush has given a bad impression of evangelical Christians and that makes me sad. I was actually quite offended during one of Sab Jr's rants when he said "so you would vote for Bush just because he's an EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN?" Clearly, I didn't vote for him, but what I think people don't understand is that we're ALL sinners - Christians are just those that are aware that we are. But we still sin, we still struggle, and we're nowhere near perfect and shouldn't claim to be.
This drunk guy on the train next to me last night was going on and on about Bush and how he sucked and how the white man was killing the black man, blah blah blah. (He REEKED of alcohol). But towards the end he said this: "he will have to answer to God one day". And Joe (this guy from TKD who took the train downtown with me) replied "we all will".
And it's true. One day all this arguing and media and nonsense won't matter because in the end you don't get to argue with God. And we'll all have to account for all of our actions, and when that time comes, there will be A LOT to account for. When I look at this election and the uproar that it's caused, it just points out to me the fundamental truth that there is so much sin in this world and that the world needs Jesus. If Bush is not being the ambassador for Christ that he ought to be - then that's just sad but all we can do is pray for him because he's in a position to do great or terrible things in the next 4 years.
James (Cadogan) told me that I should vote because if I didn't, then I didn't have a right to complain about the outcome. I think that's a bad mentality to have, because if America is a nation of complainers, then that's not productive.
What's done is done and no amount of ranting and raving is going to make Kerry the President. I think we should just focus on praying for Bush and that he would be guided by God and not by man, whether it be himself, his party, or whoever. And my conclusion would have been the same had Kerry won.
birthday reflections
So honestly speaking, yesterday was the worst birthday I've ever had. I was so sick that I left work early to go home and try to sleep it off. My back was still killing me, and I couldn't take any drugs for it because I couldn't keep food in my stomach. It was lose-lose.
The only reason I went to the dojang at all was because someone had mistakenly forwarded the email regarding the surprise cake thingy to the entire black belts list. I couldn't take the bb class because we were doing self-defense and there's no way I was going to let Kay throw me around. Well, I wouldn't do that if I was healthy, but with my back problems? No way.
So once again I was absolutely useless.
BUT. Despite the general suckiness, I did get a lot of happy birthday wishes (mostly from people in Boston - Susan must've sent out an email, am I right?) =) No one at work knew it was my birthday but that's OK. I was too sick to care in the daytime. Melanie was really sweet and her mom baked a gorgeous cake and it was really nice. Sab Jr mandated that everyone needs to practice their singing (oh boy were they out of tune!) but it was still cool.
Adolfo gave me this sweatshirt which he had made. Which I don't think I would ever wear because it looks like it's been spray painted on. But it was really thoughtful and a cute gesture. on the front it says "Team West Side" and "captain" and on the back it says "Christina Park aka sparky noona 03". Maybe I'll have it framed and put it up on my wall. And James gave me a squishy panda bear. Wrapped in magazine paper and athletic tape. HAHA...it was so funny. And hard to open. My boys are thoughtful, it's cool.
Well, the good thing about being sick is if you can't eat food you can't gain weight.
So I now have 3 cakes in my fridge that look really tasty and I'm not allowed to eat any of them. Anyone want some cake?
The only reason I went to the dojang at all was because someone had mistakenly forwarded the email regarding the surprise cake thingy to the entire black belts list. I couldn't take the bb class because we were doing self-defense and there's no way I was going to let Kay throw me around. Well, I wouldn't do that if I was healthy, but with my back problems? No way.
So once again I was absolutely useless.
BUT. Despite the general suckiness, I did get a lot of happy birthday wishes (mostly from people in Boston - Susan must've sent out an email, am I right?) =) No one at work knew it was my birthday but that's OK. I was too sick to care in the daytime. Melanie was really sweet and her mom baked a gorgeous cake and it was really nice. Sab Jr mandated that everyone needs to practice their singing (oh boy were they out of tune!) but it was still cool.
Adolfo gave me this sweatshirt which he had made. Which I don't think I would ever wear because it looks like it's been spray painted on. But it was really thoughtful and a cute gesture. on the front it says "Team West Side" and "captain" and on the back it says "Christina Park aka sparky noona 03". Maybe I'll have it framed and put it up on my wall. And James gave me a squishy panda bear. Wrapped in magazine paper and athletic tape. HAHA...it was so funny. And hard to open. My boys are thoughtful, it's cool.
Well, the good thing about being sick is if you can't eat food you can't gain weight.
So I now have 3 cakes in my fridge that look really tasty and I'm not allowed to eat any of them. Anyone want some cake?
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
my back...
So the weirdest thing happened this morning. Though if my back does indeed feel better it'll be worth it.
Master Oh wanted me to make him a tape of this weekend's fights, and he came by to pick it up. I meet him outside and he asks about my back. I told him it's still bothering me, and he says "oh, I can fix that".
And I'm thinking HOW is he going to fix my back, short of praying for it? I have a hard enough time trusting chiropractors to crack my back, let alone some master who I'm sure isn't liscensed. So he keeps insisting that he knows how to fix it and I'm not one to argue with authority so we found a place on the ground (outside, in front of my building) and he proceeds to do some twisting stuff and cracking it.
It HURT. Well, chiropractic stuff always hurts before it feels better.
But the embarassing part was that while I was writhing in pain on the ground, two guys come by in suits and ties and attempt to save me. Because from their point of view, they see a girl on the ground in pain with some middle aged man on top of her.
I guess I should be thankful that people cared enough to try and help.
Though really I'll just be thankful if my back stops hurting. Rawr...I'm not sure if this made it better or worse...
Master Oh wanted me to make him a tape of this weekend's fights, and he came by to pick it up. I meet him outside and he asks about my back. I told him it's still bothering me, and he says "oh, I can fix that".
And I'm thinking HOW is he going to fix my back, short of praying for it? I have a hard enough time trusting chiropractors to crack my back, let alone some master who I'm sure isn't liscensed. So he keeps insisting that he knows how to fix it and I'm not one to argue with authority so we found a place on the ground (outside, in front of my building) and he proceeds to do some twisting stuff and cracking it.
It HURT. Well, chiropractic stuff always hurts before it feels better.
But the embarassing part was that while I was writhing in pain on the ground, two guys come by in suits and ties and attempt to save me. Because from their point of view, they see a girl on the ground in pain with some middle aged man on top of her.
I guess I should be thankful that people cared enough to try and help.
Though really I'll just be thankful if my back stops hurting. Rawr...I'm not sure if this made it better or worse...
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
voting aftermath
sr: "did you vote today??" (stares with the Look)
me: "um." (cower)
sr: "did you VOTE TODAY??" (still staring)
me: "um. yes."
sr: "good. who'd you vote for?"
me: "um. i don't want to tell you." (cower some more)
sr: "what? who'd you vote for?"
jr: "don't ask her"
sr: "why not?"
jr: "because...you're not supposed to ask people who they voted for"
sr: "but it's christina...she's not a person"
GREAT. so the truth comes out.
at least jr stuck up for me. well, i had already told him earlier in the day who i'd voted for. but that was because he gained my trust about this whole voting business for me to feel comfortable enough to talk to him. and because he didn't ask. he clearly saw what i was doing to sr, but i didn't want to cave just because sr was bullying me. but it was nice to be stuck up for, because i would have caved pretty soon after that.
why do people need to know? it's about as annoying as people asking you how much money you make.
*sigh* my back is killing me. and i think mexico gave me food poisoning or something because i feel so sick. sitting on the sidelines during practice and watching was torture.
and now with 30 minutes remaining, i'm going to enter into my 24th year of life totally miserable...rawr why can't i keep food down so i can take my drugs?
me: "um." (cower)
sr: "did you VOTE TODAY??" (still staring)
me: "um. yes."
sr: "good. who'd you vote for?"
me: "um. i don't want to tell you." (cower some more)
sr: "what? who'd you vote for?"
jr: "don't ask her"
sr: "why not?"
jr: "because...you're not supposed to ask people who they voted for"
sr: "but it's christina...she's not a person"
GREAT. so the truth comes out.
at least jr stuck up for me. well, i had already told him earlier in the day who i'd voted for. but that was because he gained my trust about this whole voting business for me to feel comfortable enough to talk to him. and because he didn't ask. he clearly saw what i was doing to sr, but i didn't want to cave just because sr was bullying me. but it was nice to be stuck up for, because i would have caved pretty soon after that.
why do people need to know? it's about as annoying as people asking you how much money you make.
*sigh* my back is killing me. and i think mexico gave me food poisoning or something because i feel so sick. sitting on the sidelines during practice and watching was torture.
and now with 30 minutes remaining, i'm going to enter into my 24th year of life totally miserable...rawr why can't i keep food down so i can take my drugs?
the olympics
Peeve of the day: the Olympics.
OK people, the Olympics is indeed awesome, but it's not the be-all and end-all of every sport. I find it so incredibly annoying that the first thing that people ask me when they find out I do Taekwondo competitively is "are you going to the Olympics???"
NO I'm not going to the Olympics. In fact, the Olympics just passed so don't bother asking me for another 4 years because even if I was a contender I wouldn't have a chance at knowing for at least another 3 years. There are many people who are good at Taekwondo - far many more who are better than I - who are not and probably will not ever be Olympians. It's not like other sports where there are multiple events and multiple spots - the way they've made it, the chances of going are extremely slim. For those who have made it (yay Chinny!) it's a tremendous accomplishment - but the competition world extends so far beyond.
It's extremely annoying to be met with starry eyes at the prospect of being an Olympian and then to say no and have people go, "oh" and then lose interest. Frankly, I'd be more ecstatic about making it to the World Championships. At this rate, I'd have to jump through just as many hoops.
It's kind of like when people come up to me and think I'm Chinese. Because clearly all oriental people must be Chinese.
Anyways, this rant was spurred by my dad, with whom I had a conversation about Nationals today.
"Well, so you're the strongest person to win"
"No, actually, I'm not. There's the girl who beat me last year. I'm #2."
"Oh. I thought you were the best. So she beat you?"
"Yes"
"It's OK, it's not like it was for the Olympics or anything"
Mmph.
OK people, the Olympics is indeed awesome, but it's not the be-all and end-all of every sport. I find it so incredibly annoying that the first thing that people ask me when they find out I do Taekwondo competitively is "are you going to the Olympics???"
NO I'm not going to the Olympics. In fact, the Olympics just passed so don't bother asking me for another 4 years because even if I was a contender I wouldn't have a chance at knowing for at least another 3 years. There are many people who are good at Taekwondo - far many more who are better than I - who are not and probably will not ever be Olympians. It's not like other sports where there are multiple events and multiple spots - the way they've made it, the chances of going are extremely slim. For those who have made it (yay Chinny!) it's a tremendous accomplishment - but the competition world extends so far beyond.
It's extremely annoying to be met with starry eyes at the prospect of being an Olympian and then to say no and have people go, "oh" and then lose interest. Frankly, I'd be more ecstatic about making it to the World Championships. At this rate, I'd have to jump through just as many hoops.
It's kind of like when people come up to me and think I'm Chinese. Because clearly all oriental people must be Chinese.
Anyways, this rant was spurred by my dad, with whom I had a conversation about Nationals today.
"Well, so you're the strongest person to win"
"No, actually, I'm not. There's the girl who beat me last year. I'm #2."
"Oh. I thought you were the best. So she beat you?"
"Yes"
"It's OK, it's not like it was for the Olympics or anything"
Mmph.
hrmm
So I voted today. It was kind of fun with the levers and stuff. Feels all antique, haha.
So if I ever wanted my kids to become politicians (which I never would but let's say I did) I'd give them names that sounded good. Because after the President, I just ended up picking people who had the best-sounding names.
What I don't understand is how some of the candidates were listed under both Republican and Democrat. Is that allowed? (Well obviously it is because it was there, but what does that mean? Are you picking what party they align themselves with?)
But I do indeed feel gypped that I didn't get a "I voted today" sticker. Now I'm sad...
So if I ever wanted my kids to become politicians (which I never would but let's say I did) I'd give them names that sounded good. Because after the President, I just ended up picking people who had the best-sounding names.
What I don't understand is how some of the candidates were listed under both Republican and Democrat. Is that allowed? (Well obviously it is because it was there, but what does that mean? Are you picking what party they align themselves with?)
But I do indeed feel gypped that I didn't get a "I voted today" sticker. Now I'm sad...
voting day
So as Nov. 2nd, the stupidest day of the year rolls around - finally the drama will be over. And none too soon, I'd like to enjoy my birthday. Man, this isn't even good drama. It's like "My Sassy Girl". Two entirely unappealing characters brought together to make you toil inside at how retarded they are - though if the results of the election produce such a roundabout ending, I'd be happy.
You know what I think is cool? People who will encourage me to vote for reasons that have to do with me. People who care about whether I understand or care about issues, and not just whether I agree with their opinions. People who will respect my views and make it seem OK to have opinions and want to have opinions.
oh and by the way, you should know that you bullied me into registering to vote
good
at least vote
i care who u vote for
but won't ask who ur voting for
i mean, not by your speech tonight, back when we went out to dinner and you went on and on and thought i wasn't listening
i know u were listening
i make too much sense for you not to listen
HAHA...um. yeah.
well i pretend to be ignorant so people leave me alone
because i dont' like arguing
i think your reasons made sense, however, i still think that in NY who i vote for won't matter
you are right but still vote
And that, my friends, is how you get someone who doesn't want to vote, to vote. In the end he actually didn't really bully me. And what tipped it off was that he was the first person to agree with me that my vote would not matter. Finally. Someone who makes sense.
And the ironies of all ironies - now that I've decided that I'm gonna humor the process, I can't find the registration paper thingy that they sent me. Mmph...
You know what I think is cool? People who will encourage me to vote for reasons that have to do with me. People who care about whether I understand or care about issues, and not just whether I agree with their opinions. People who will respect my views and make it seem OK to have opinions and want to have opinions.
oh and by the way, you should know that you bullied me into registering to vote
good
at least vote
i care who u vote for
but won't ask who ur voting for
i mean, not by your speech tonight, back when we went out to dinner and you went on and on and thought i wasn't listening
i know u were listening
i make too much sense for you not to listen
HAHA...um. yeah.
well i pretend to be ignorant so people leave me alone
because i dont' like arguing
i think your reasons made sense, however, i still think that in NY who i vote for won't matter
you are right but still vote
And that, my friends, is how you get someone who doesn't want to vote, to vote. In the end he actually didn't really bully me. And what tipped it off was that he was the first person to agree with me that my vote would not matter. Finally. Someone who makes sense.
And the ironies of all ironies - now that I've decided that I'm gonna humor the process, I can't find the registration paper thingy that they sent me. Mmph...
Monday, November 01, 2004
this made my day :)
Welcome back. At least come to the DJ. Let's see how you're doing. Plus, your hoobae's obviously miss you a lot.
Aww I'm so flattered. I missed my boys too. Even if I'm now a gimpy old woman with lower back problems. Pray for me?
Aww I'm so flattered. I missed my boys too. Even if I'm now a gimpy old woman with lower back problems. Pray for me?
quanto?
Back from Mexico. A whole host of thoughts from the experience. It was quite possibly one of the best TKD trips I've ever been on.
1) Being Korean is so super awesome sometimes. My roommate on the trip said: "you have so much Korean pride, you make me want to be Korean". (She's white, from PA). My faith in Korean-ness when it's done "right" was restored. The hospitality from GM Park was amazing, and the masters who were our coaches really went out of their way to take care of us.
2) Redemption - so I ended up fighting the same girl that I fought the first time I ever went to US Open, in 2002. Back then I was pretty raw, but I fought hard and couldn't get them to score my points for the life of me. I remember Sab throwing a fit and being really upset. So being on her home turf with her refs and being the first match of the day didn't bode well. However, despite feeling like my legs had turned to lead, a little shady judging and some shady refereeing (SIX kyongos?? When clearly she was grabbing ME??) - I still came out on top 11-8. Hah!
3) Just once I would like to be on a team where I wasn't captain. However, I really didn't mind with this group because they were all really cool. I've decided I'd rather be on a team of people who are perhaps less talented and less experienced, but who have good attitudes. I think the clear difference is that we were all dojang kids who compete, as opposed to competitors who do Taekwondo. They were great to travel with.
4) What is up with girls having crushes on their coaches who are much much older than them? (Jaac no comments from you). Well, it was kind of cute but kind of weird, because she's 14 and he's 34. I hope she let's it go when he gets married, or else his wife is going to be really annoyed.
5) I love being noona. I made a new dongseng on the trip. Such a cute kid, so very Korean. I wasn't used to being called "noona" so I think I ignored him for awhile. Since the only person who calls me noona is Daniel. (Derek and Dylan call me sparky noona or christina noona). But it was very cute when Andy would hover around asking if I needed help warming up, or how eager he was to help me tape up my feet before I sparred. Why was I an only child?? *sigh*
6) Our team was nearly all Christian - it was such a cool experience. Coach Yi prayed for us in the morning before we went to the competition, and it was so encouraging to see him praying for Andy right before he fought. Mister Bob (Coach Leach) was reading "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" in his spare time, and even the weird unison with which EVERYONE said "God bless you" when someone sneezed was just...cool. Coach Yi ended up having a long talk with Steven on the plane ride home about how to live out his faith - I woke up in the middle of it and asked Andy what was going on and then ended up having a good talk with him about being a Christian athlete and challenging him about really understanding what the gospel is, and what his role in youth group is, etc. It was so totally awesome. Looking at him is like looking at myself when I was 16 and in youth group.
All in all - it was very refreshing and renewing in a sense of purpose and identity. And beating Mexicans. Yay for beating up Mexicans!
1) Being Korean is so super awesome sometimes. My roommate on the trip said: "you have so much Korean pride, you make me want to be Korean". (She's white, from PA). My faith in Korean-ness when it's done "right" was restored. The hospitality from GM Park was amazing, and the masters who were our coaches really went out of their way to take care of us.
2) Redemption - so I ended up fighting the same girl that I fought the first time I ever went to US Open, in 2002. Back then I was pretty raw, but I fought hard and couldn't get them to score my points for the life of me. I remember Sab throwing a fit and being really upset. So being on her home turf with her refs and being the first match of the day didn't bode well. However, despite feeling like my legs had turned to lead, a little shady judging and some shady refereeing (SIX kyongos?? When clearly she was grabbing ME??) - I still came out on top 11-8. Hah!
3) Just once I would like to be on a team where I wasn't captain. However, I really didn't mind with this group because they were all really cool. I've decided I'd rather be on a team of people who are perhaps less talented and less experienced, but who have good attitudes. I think the clear difference is that we were all dojang kids who compete, as opposed to competitors who do Taekwondo. They were great to travel with.
4) What is up with girls having crushes on their coaches who are much much older than them? (Jaac no comments from you). Well, it was kind of cute but kind of weird, because she's 14 and he's 34. I hope she let's it go when he gets married, or else his wife is going to be really annoyed.
5) I love being noona. I made a new dongseng on the trip. Such a cute kid, so very Korean. I wasn't used to being called "noona" so I think I ignored him for awhile. Since the only person who calls me noona is Daniel. (Derek and Dylan call me sparky noona or christina noona). But it was very cute when Andy would hover around asking if I needed help warming up, or how eager he was to help me tape up my feet before I sparred. Why was I an only child?? *sigh*
6) Our team was nearly all Christian - it was such a cool experience. Coach Yi prayed for us in the morning before we went to the competition, and it was so encouraging to see him praying for Andy right before he fought. Mister Bob (Coach Leach) was reading "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" in his spare time, and even the weird unison with which EVERYONE said "God bless you" when someone sneezed was just...cool. Coach Yi ended up having a long talk with Steven on the plane ride home about how to live out his faith - I woke up in the middle of it and asked Andy what was going on and then ended up having a good talk with him about being a Christian athlete and challenging him about really understanding what the gospel is, and what his role in youth group is, etc. It was so totally awesome. Looking at him is like looking at myself when I was 16 and in youth group.
All in all - it was very refreshing and renewing in a sense of purpose and identity. And beating Mexicans. Yay for beating up Mexicans!
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