so hosed

don't think i've been this hosed since MIT. though i kind of missed the terminology...now when i say punt, i definitely mean kicking a football.

anyways.

i have this weird tendency to thrive on busy-ness, until i hit my saturation point - at which point i have a meltdown, often of epic proportions.

this semester has been slightly ridiculous, and i was trying to pinpoint what exactly was weighing me down:

work has been picking up (don't know how the boss keeps all his junk sorted, but i'm starting to lose track on which demands are from which projects. all i know is that everyone thinks their stuff is urgent, and that all of our projects are in places i don't want to visit because it's so dang cold most of the time). we're going to japan in dec and then biz trips will possibly abound - i don't mind travelling, depending on where i'm travelling to, but it does throw a wrench in my otherwise predeictable schedule. sometimes i feel like telling people that engineers aren't firefighters - so stop giving us fires that you think are so urgent they need our attention right this moment.

everybody wants my money. seriously, what's with mortgage and healthcare and insurances and everyone showing up with bills that are often erroneous and take forever to fix?? not cool.

tutoring is at an all-time high - which is great for financial and self-fulfillment of purpose and challenge realms but absolutely draining when juggling 8-10 kids, their schedules, my schedules, and last minute changes and prep for every possible contingency. luckily, 2 of my kids are done by november after their entrace exams, at which point i may have some room to breathe - but until then it's full steam ahead. i guess it's also that this year, half of my kids are on the slate for more than one subject - most are math plus a science, but then french has been thrown into the mix for a few of them. (though this is not as bizarre as last year when i had to try to learn spanish and latin on the fly - neither of which i've studied before). i actually had to turn some kids down because i couldn't take any more. thankful for the business - don't get me wrong - but up to my ears and a little weary from juggling.

football is probably my only reliable form of exercise at this point, which is pretty depressing because i'm way out of shape. i went from being the fastest last year to not even in the first line for sprints this year. it's depressing. that being said, it's fun and defense has been pretty good ... backup qb-ing is stressful beyond belief, considering i haven't been given practice time on offense much, and the playbook exploded this year. here's to hoping that the starting qb doesn't go down, bc ... sheez defense is so much easier to just perform. every year i sorely miss the thrillers, though. 2007 was still the best football year to date.

dodgeball is halfway thru the season and tonight will be my first game. i can't believe i've missed so many. but i hope i've still got it. and that my quads have recovered from last weekend's football scrimmages that left me walking like a cowboy the last few days. our team's record has been abysmal this season, i have no idea what's going on.

dating is indeed a 48 unit lab. too bad i consider it a 48 unit lab and he seems to consider it a 48 unit lecture. and despite having had many guy friends and brother types over the years, it still shocks me every day that guys are slobs. you think i'd get used to it, but no - i'm becoming monica more and more every day. if i had the time i would devise a pulley contraption to automatically lower the toilet seat after each flush, because that seems to be the only way that it's gonna go down. that being said, it's a sine wave and for the negatives there are positives. but that being said - if i ever have sons i will make habits of toilet seat etiquette.

my mom is coming to town in t-minus 2 days. part of me is looking forward to it, because i miss her and want to show her a good time. the majority of me is weighed with trepidation at the impending doom of her meeting alan, who she will undoutably dislike, by virtue of him being not korean, not a doctor. how miserable and annoyed she (and dad) will make me after that remains to be seen but i'm not even hoping for the best bc i see no light at the end of this tunnel. and this is after i warned him to not mention anything regarding his future plans that involve education, politics, and all sorts of other idealistic dreams of saving the world that no asian girl's parents are gonna want to hear.

church is getting somewhat shafted, with some feelings of guilt, but also vast relief that i stepped off small group leading this year. i've been meaning to get sports ministry up and running again but after the summer i was exhausted. plus the dating thing now means that we go to two churches - it's cool, but sundays are tiring, and now there are 2 communities to keep track of. i think pdanny is gonna single me out again - one sunday he took me by the hand to the corner, and prayed over me because he said he always caught me falling asleep during his sermons. (which was actually untrue because i actually like pd's sermons, but it's true i've been tired and my face prob looks awfully sleepy).

choir has been super fun now that we have new members (and a bass part) - but getting committment and consistency is ... well, it's a church thing. i think it's hard for me to do something and know that things could be better if we just practiced more or started on time ... but regardless it's still fun to sing.

tkd has effectively ceased, which is pretty depressing when i think about it. but i don't really have time to think about it most days.

i was super upset when i auditioned and was rejected from this orchestra this fall but...now that i think about it, i'm grateful to not have another committment. i think i would have died.

and if anyone managed to get through all that mental throwing up to get down here - i probably didn't mention that i hosted the pilot of this tv show about women in sports. hopefully the show gets picked up and we get sponsored to do more episodes, but here's the pilot ... a little cheesy, but it was fun. =)

http://www.psychedaboutsports.com/women.html