don't eat the sheep

i love iv. i find it almost laughable when churches knock on the parachurch, because for the most part, it's like a smartcar telling an suv how to go faster.

one thing i realized, having been a product of iv, is that i took a lot of the leadership and staff training for granted. or, more accurately, i assumed that these things were normal, and that every organization has them available and effectively implemented for their staff.

i remember being so supremely annoyed and discouraged at fundraising while i was on staff - and having to meet looming deadlines in order to stay on campus and work with the students. (if you didn't meet your goals, you were kicked off campus and supposed to use that time to fundraise, to get yourself back to work). i thought it was so silly at the time - forcing me to raise money instead of spending my time with the students, which was what i was there and called to do.

in hindsight, i see the value of forcing staff to get their finances in order and take care of themselves before they focus on taking care of others. i guess it's something that's frequently lost in ministry, and something that's crucially important. with all the needs-based situations that come up - and the needy people everywhere - the bleeding heart will do just that: bleed itself dry.

i remember going over the "rules" of staff that year i jumped on board ... and someone (i think sly) told me one sort of facetiously. "the #1 rule of being a shepherd: don't eat the sheep".

i laughed - because it was funny - and as a female it was less of a risk, but that rule was put in place for a reason. we as staff - despite being perhaps just out of school ourselves - were called to shepherd the students. students being the key word here. that despite perhaps a nominal age difference, we were in a position of authority and care over them, and in a different stage of life. the explicit rule being that staff could not date students. among other rules like not being allowed to drink together, meeting students in public places, etc.

i can see how such things happen - all too well, actually. but i see clearer that boundaries are more important than ever. after all the ambiguity that comes with being asian and in an asian church ... i'm seeing more and more that clarity and intentionality are so important. and unfortunately - oftentimes lacking.