weddings are an interesting thing. guestlists in particular - you spend so much time agonizing over who you can and can't invite based on the constraints - but when the responses start coming in, you have a lot of data.
i have to say, it's been really interesting to see who says yes and who says no. or more specifically, if you compare people of similar life circumstances, who says yes and who says no.
for example, pregnancies. if i took all the couples i've invited so far who are pregnant and due +/- 3 months of our wedding and lumped them into the category of having a legitimate excuse to bail - it's surprising that some people say "i wouldn't miss it for the world, i'm definitely there!" and others, "i definitely can't".
i think it's hard not to take responses personally. i mean, honestly i've gone to probably only half the weddings i've been invited to, and the ones i haven't gone to, barring a "legitimate" conflict, have been due to an evaluation of closeness to that friend mixed with the cost/effort to attend. and i think most people decide somewhere along that persuasion.
i suppose it's inevitable that relationships are not always even. you may feel closer to someone than they feel to you, or vice versa. i think weddings are a pretty good litmus test of that ... of course it's not foolproof, but i was pleasantly surprised by some people who had no qualms about taking a day off of work or going out of their way to come - and others who i thought would never have missed it reply no without even giving a reason.
but perhaps that's just life, and there's a constant shifting and re-evaluating of relationships - and i'm not exempt from it either, i'm sure i've disappointed people along the way.
wedding conversation of the day:
friend: did you invite any of my close friends to your wedding?
me: um, are any of your close friends MY close friends?
No comments:
Post a Comment