realism

alan thinks i'm cynical and i assume the worst. i think that if someone has not responded to your emails or phone calls for 4+ months - it's acceptable to be annoyed and take them off your wedding guestlist. if they don't give you a way to mail them an invite - then maybe they shouldn't get one. and if your contacts are so out of date that you can't get ahold of them - then perhaps we should all move on and invite someone else.

i don't think that's cynical - i think that's realistic.

speaking of which, i think if people are going to decline, they should do it quickly. i was talking with a friend about a wedding she was invited to - in oregon - where she didn't really know a lot of people and she and the guy have grown apart over the years. she definitely did not want to go, and minus some lingering feelings of guilt for saying no, was just biding her time to decline. having been in the middle of guestlist nonsense myself, i was like "send the decline. like, now." she thought she should wait till closer to the date, so that it didn't seem like she was rejecting the invite. but i was like "whether you reject it now or later, you're still rejecting it. at least give them a heads up so it makes their planning easier - and send them a nice note saying you decline with regrets"

ah, i wish many of my declines had either sent a note or declined faster. there are those who needed to think about it, sure, but there are definitely people who "intended to respond but it totally slipped my mind". and to them i say - good luck planning your wedding someday. every faux pas i've ever made as a guest has come back to bite me multiple times over, people ask some of the darndest questions...

in other news, alan went on a groupon ramapge and bought all these random coupons - one of them was for this anti-cellulite massage thing. (i think he's trying to tell me something). so yesterday i went and tried it out, and it was definitely NOT a relaxing massage - nor was it particularly pleasant in any way. first this chinese lady with a thick accent tries to explain to me the science behind cellulite removal therapy - which i'm already skeptical about even without considering the fact that her english left me guessing at every 3rd word. then she proceeds to mash me around like i'm a slab of pizza dough - luckily i have much experience in getting hit in my gut, so i just tried to think of it like a hogu drill. but i swear she bruised my ribs.

then she proceeds to wrap me up in saran wrap - no joke, like glad brand from the supermarket. the cream apparently is warming (yes, it was very hot) and i was supposed to wear this for 2 hours. imagine walking around a hot summer day, with a layer of saran wrap under your clothes, tourniquetted and inducing massive sweatage. this was worse than the sauna suits from weight cutting days.

and at the end, she hands me an envelope with her name on it. i was like, what is this, a business card? no - it was for tip. how subtle. as she then proceeds to tell me that the treatment is only effective in a series and tries to sell me a package. seriously?? i can't tell if this is legit or a scam ... you'd be surprised at what rich people on the uws will pay for without blinking an eye ...

i swear my legs are internally bruised from those suction cup things ... it was kind of like paying for civilized torture...