alan thinks i'm cynical and i assume the worst. i think that if someone has not responded to your emails or phone calls for 4+ months - it's acceptable to be annoyed and take them off your wedding guestlist. if they don't give you a way to mail them an invite - then maybe they shouldn't get one. and if your contacts are so out of date that you can't get ahold of them - then perhaps we should all move on and invite someone else.
i don't think that's cynical - i think that's realistic.
speaking of which, i think if people are going to decline, they should do it quickly. i was talking with a friend about a wedding she was invited to - in oregon - where she didn't really know a lot of people and she and the guy have grown apart over the years. she definitely did not want to go, and minus some lingering feelings of guilt for saying no, was just biding her time to decline. having been in the middle of guestlist nonsense myself, i was like "send the decline. like, now." she thought she should wait till closer to the date, so that it didn't seem like she was rejecting the invite. but i was like "whether you reject it now or later, you're still rejecting it. at least give them a heads up so it makes their planning easier - and send them a nice note saying you decline with regrets"
ah, i wish many of my declines had either sent a note or declined faster. there are those who needed to think about it, sure, but there are definitely people who "intended to respond but it totally slipped my mind". and to them i say - good luck planning your wedding someday. every faux pas i've ever made as a guest has come back to bite me multiple times over, people ask some of the darndest questions...
in other news, alan went on a groupon ramapge and bought all these random coupons - one of them was for this anti-cellulite massage thing. (i think he's trying to tell me something). so yesterday i went and tried it out, and it was definitely NOT a relaxing massage - nor was it particularly pleasant in any way. first this chinese lady with a thick accent tries to explain to me the science behind cellulite removal therapy - which i'm already skeptical about even without considering the fact that her english left me guessing at every 3rd word. then she proceeds to mash me around like i'm a slab of pizza dough - luckily i have much experience in getting hit in my gut, so i just tried to think of it like a hogu drill. but i swear she bruised my ribs.
then she proceeds to wrap me up in saran wrap - no joke, like glad brand from the supermarket. the cream apparently is warming (yes, it was very hot) and i was supposed to wear this for 2 hours. imagine walking around a hot summer day, with a layer of saran wrap under your clothes, tourniquetted and inducing massive sweatage. this was worse than the sauna suits from weight cutting days.
and at the end, she hands me an envelope with her name on it. i was like, what is this, a business card? no - it was for tip. how subtle. as she then proceeds to tell me that the treatment is only effective in a series and tries to sell me a package. seriously?? i can't tell if this is legit or a scam ... you'd be surprised at what rich people on the uws will pay for without blinking an eye ...
i swear my legs are internally bruised from those suction cup things ... it was kind of like paying for civilized torture...
Thursday, July 07, 2011
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
weekend in boston...
another weekend trip to boston, come and gone. sudanny took us to victoria's, where i had my heart's content of watercress - i don't know why i like it so much, but i just do. it's crunchy, not bitter, and almost always sauteed in tons of garlic - what's not to like?
every time i go back to boston i'm surprised at how un-nostalgic i get. maybe it's because the campus has changed so much, or that most of the people i know are gone ... but still.
three, 3-hour poomsae sessions later ... my butt is definitely not the same. i'm not sure what it is, and what i'm compensating for (probably my hips not being open) but i was way more sore and exhausted from all the poomsae than i ever was from sparring workouts. maybe because it's less cardiovascular and all muscle - particularly muscles i apparently didn't have. but it was great to practice hard, collaborate, and have all these eyes to watch and have high caliber workouts. i finally feel like we're moving away from basic errors like stances and techniques, and can get to the presentation side.
the main takeaways from this weekend, at least for me to try and fix before worlds:
-don't look down. i don't know where i got this habit of looking down, especially when i kick. perhaps it's from all the stance-fixing and having to constantly check my toes and knees so that they're pointed in the right direction...or maybe it's compensating for not being able to get my legs up so i'd hunch my upper body. but i realized (when people constantly pointed it out) that i do it ALL THE TIME. no good.
-relax my shoulders. apparently tension is a huge problem for me (shocking, i know) - i'm not sure how to generate power (when power is my strongest quality) without tensing my shoulders. though perhaps that's exactly the problem - i'm generating it from all the wrong places.
-turn from the hips. this whole delayed hip snap turn thing is so hard, but i must admit it's that 'je ne sais quoi' that i realize all the top athletes have. even in the US, most people don't do this, or certainly don't do it well - internationally it's much more prevalent. in any event, my messed up hip is going to have to work on this one to look like my teammates.
i think most of the other points fall under one of these categories, so in the interest of simplifying, i'm going to try and focus on these for the next 3 weeks. hard to believe we're leaving for russia so soon!
on an unrelated note, i got hooked on star wars this weekend while watching empire strikes back. i've never actually watched all of the trilogy without falling asleep before, so actually getting engrossed in the plot was fun. except now i want to watch all of them.
having a weekend away from my computer was particularly nice (for alan) bc it meant wedding stuff was on hold. haha. still trying to hunt down the 30-40 delinquent responders - hitting this head count was harder than i'd anticipated. including the fact that we already have backer-outers, which is totally not appreciated.
and now, the new ruler of the household:
yes, my mom took a picture after giving the dog a bath, perched all clean and pretty on the couch. seriously, everyone with mom difficulties should just get a puppy and watch all the tension melt away ...
every time i go back to boston i'm surprised at how un-nostalgic i get. maybe it's because the campus has changed so much, or that most of the people i know are gone ... but still.
three, 3-hour poomsae sessions later ... my butt is definitely not the same. i'm not sure what it is, and what i'm compensating for (probably my hips not being open) but i was way more sore and exhausted from all the poomsae than i ever was from sparring workouts. maybe because it's less cardiovascular and all muscle - particularly muscles i apparently didn't have. but it was great to practice hard, collaborate, and have all these eyes to watch and have high caliber workouts. i finally feel like we're moving away from basic errors like stances and techniques, and can get to the presentation side.
the main takeaways from this weekend, at least for me to try and fix before worlds:
-don't look down. i don't know where i got this habit of looking down, especially when i kick. perhaps it's from all the stance-fixing and having to constantly check my toes and knees so that they're pointed in the right direction...or maybe it's compensating for not being able to get my legs up so i'd hunch my upper body. but i realized (when people constantly pointed it out) that i do it ALL THE TIME. no good.
-relax my shoulders. apparently tension is a huge problem for me (shocking, i know) - i'm not sure how to generate power (when power is my strongest quality) without tensing my shoulders. though perhaps that's exactly the problem - i'm generating it from all the wrong places.
-turn from the hips. this whole delayed hip snap turn thing is so hard, but i must admit it's that 'je ne sais quoi' that i realize all the top athletes have. even in the US, most people don't do this, or certainly don't do it well - internationally it's much more prevalent. in any event, my messed up hip is going to have to work on this one to look like my teammates.
i think most of the other points fall under one of these categories, so in the interest of simplifying, i'm going to try and focus on these for the next 3 weeks. hard to believe we're leaving for russia so soon!
on an unrelated note, i got hooked on star wars this weekend while watching empire strikes back. i've never actually watched all of the trilogy without falling asleep before, so actually getting engrossed in the plot was fun. except now i want to watch all of them.
having a weekend away from my computer was particularly nice (for alan) bc it meant wedding stuff was on hold. haha. still trying to hunt down the 30-40 delinquent responders - hitting this head count was harder than i'd anticipated. including the fact that we already have backer-outers, which is totally not appreciated.
and now, the new ruler of the household:
yes, my mom took a picture after giving the dog a bath, perched all clean and pretty on the couch. seriously, everyone with mom difficulties should just get a puppy and watch all the tension melt away ...
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
disco balls and other random stuff
i commented that the light in my bedroom sucked (stupid contractors being so cheap) and how i wanted to install a ceiling fan with a light. not that i know how to do such things, and apparently that requires some electrical wiring as well - hrmm. but i think it would be a nice alternative to running the a/c, and i actually find ceiling fans to be more comfortable. anyways. so alan's response to that was ... "or we should just get a disco ball".
funny statement from the man who doesn't dance. though it reminds me of mastercho at cornell who was like, 40 and had a discoball in his living room. he would turn it on for parties and i'd be so confused ... "you're old ... why do you have a disco ball?"
anyways. that was weird.
in other random news, i almost severed my toe off today on a costco shopping cart. seriously, someone needs to redesign those wheels, they're lethal!
speaking of severing, mike had a huge dodgeball injury that almost looked like it severed his thumb - not sure how he got hit with the ball, but he needed stitches adn it was gross looking. i played against his team in softball this week and looked at his thumb - it's totally fine now! what the heck. i seriously envy people who don't scar poorly. =(
it's been one dramatic week or two. from the credit crisis (which, thank God, has been almost resolved by now) to the tickets for the tinted windows to the current dj issue of people defecting, creating their own dj, and stealing our students - it's been one drama after another. i'm not sure what possesses someone to ever think it's ok to test for a black belt at another school without permission, but ... logic and loyalty are i suppose not universal. sigh.
high drama indeed. in other news, graceshih finished the flower girl basket and ring bearer's pillow for the wedding. dang she's talented. that's my lil sis!
funny statement from the man who doesn't dance. though it reminds me of mastercho at cornell who was like, 40 and had a discoball in his living room. he would turn it on for parties and i'd be so confused ... "you're old ... why do you have a disco ball?"
anyways. that was weird.
in other random news, i almost severed my toe off today on a costco shopping cart. seriously, someone needs to redesign those wheels, they're lethal!
speaking of severing, mike had a huge dodgeball injury that almost looked like it severed his thumb - not sure how he got hit with the ball, but he needed stitches adn it was gross looking. i played against his team in softball this week and looked at his thumb - it's totally fine now! what the heck. i seriously envy people who don't scar poorly. =(
it's been one dramatic week or two. from the credit crisis (which, thank God, has been almost resolved by now) to the tickets for the tinted windows to the current dj issue of people defecting, creating their own dj, and stealing our students - it's been one drama after another. i'm not sure what possesses someone to ever think it's ok to test for a black belt at another school without permission, but ... logic and loyalty are i suppose not universal. sigh.
high drama indeed. in other news, graceshih finished the flower girl basket and ring bearer's pillow for the wedding. dang she's talented. that's my lil sis!
Monday, June 20, 2011
squeaky wheel
After 2 days of being on the phone nonstop trying to clear my credit score from the mud it's become after a miscommunication over an old medical bill (sigh, insurance!) - i've started to realize that useless people abound. they may as well have had automated services that tell you "we cannot and will not lift a finger to help you. sit around agitated and wait for someone to care". i've started phone calls by demanding to speak to a supervisor ... or their supervisor. double sigh.
in any event, it's amazing how you can think things are rolling, but you still have to call everyone and their mother to verify every little piece. if ever i distrusted people or thought people were incompetant - this whole process has unfortunately made me more paranoid. every step of the way that the ball could have been dropped - it was. today i spent about 3 hours getting someone to confirm that a letter had gotten from point A to point B - such that B could process it and send confirmation to C and freaking CLEAR MY NAME. B turned out to be a mess of incompetancy.
after many many phone calls and faxes, i finally got someone who gave two hoots to pull up my file and do something. though at this point i don't trust that anything will actually get done, so i demanded a timeframe by which i could call back to check if things were moving. please, interest rates, please stay low....
alan commented that i reminded him of a passage ... seen below. i read it, and asked if this gave me license to go and attack the people at company B if they didn't get moving...
Luke 18
The Parable of the Persistent Widow
1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’
4 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”
6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”
in any event, it's amazing how you can think things are rolling, but you still have to call everyone and their mother to verify every little piece. if ever i distrusted people or thought people were incompetant - this whole process has unfortunately made me more paranoid. every step of the way that the ball could have been dropped - it was. today i spent about 3 hours getting someone to confirm that a letter had gotten from point A to point B - such that B could process it and send confirmation to C and freaking CLEAR MY NAME. B turned out to be a mess of incompetancy.
after many many phone calls and faxes, i finally got someone who gave two hoots to pull up my file and do something. though at this point i don't trust that anything will actually get done, so i demanded a timeframe by which i could call back to check if things were moving. please, interest rates, please stay low....
alan commented that i reminded him of a passage ... seen below. i read it, and asked if this gave me license to go and attack the people at company B if they didn't get moving...
Luke 18
The Parable of the Persistent Widow
1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’
4 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”
6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
it's not worth having a car
so i got pulled over today on my way to work by an undercover cop - you would think that if he's special enough to get an unmarked car that he'd be higher up or something. no, he was no better than a meter maid. apparently he pulled me over because my windows were tinted beyond the transmittance threshold of NY. a law i had absolutely no idea about and uh, was pretty pissed that he was pulling me over and not the cabs and limos that are completely dark. i was praying that he'd have mercy on me and let me off with a warning to go get the tints reduced or removed (which btw i'm not sure came like that from the factory or not since i bought the car used) - but no. heartless bastard gave me a ticket and zoomed away to catch his next victim.
if it was within my power, i would cut off all the electricity to his house. unfortunately, i only work in generation, not transmittance. seriously, i hate cops who just patrol to catch people on random technicalities and give tickets rather than actually fighting crime and protecting the peace.
and not to racial profile but - seriously? asian girl in glasses driving at like 20 mph? seriously. do i need to start carrying my calculator around with me or something?
bah. not sure what to do now, this ticket is $130, and taking my car into the shop is going to cost a whole lot more. what is this nonsense about??
if it was within my power, i would cut off all the electricity to his house. unfortunately, i only work in generation, not transmittance. seriously, i hate cops who just patrol to catch people on random technicalities and give tickets rather than actually fighting crime and protecting the peace.
and not to racial profile but - seriously? asian girl in glasses driving at like 20 mph? seriously. do i need to start carrying my calculator around with me or something?
bah. not sure what to do now, this ticket is $130, and taking my car into the shop is going to cost a whole lot more. what is this nonsense about??
Thursday, June 09, 2011
it's crazy
i think i'm officially drowning. poor alan isn't going to know what hit him when thsi meltdown actually hits. sad is the day when even i'm sick of multitasking.
insurance companies can bite me. (i never understood that phrase because why on earth would you ever want someone to bite you? don't we spend most of preschool teaching kids NOT to do that?) but seriously - what's the deal with finding ways to not pay for doctors so that hospitals come hunting the patient down all the time? my stacks of bills that people keep harassing me about just keeps piling up, and it's getting mighty tiring calling so many people to tell them to stop bothering me and balance billing me. not that i really understand what's going on with our healthcare system, and whether the new changes will make it any better (forgive the pessimism, it probably won't) - but it's definitely broken as of now.
fundraising for worlds has commenced, and i must say i'm thrilled with the way our staff has rallied and donated their time. that being said, i have to get the troops together and put this demo together - while under the naysaying of a certain sab who thought my demo was too long and i should nix the self-defense skit (ie. the funniest part of the whole demo) and the weapons (ie. the one thing most people haven't seen live). whatever, he's not going to be there anyways. as paula said, "i much prefer paul's way of doing things - 'do whatever you want' " whatever i want, i shall...
wedding planning is, as always, on the forefront, the back burner, and everywhere else. there's potential drama on the horizon involving a crotchety old uncle apparently refusing to come, and my parents getting offended. wonderful. i thought everyone had gotten all that out of their system by now, and that everyone was too old to be so cranky. seriously, i'm 30 and i'm too tired to induce unnecessary grief on people i would have picked apart 5 years ago ... how can someone who's like, 75, have so much energy to be so difficult? eesh. and what's up with my parents' friends having so many comments about our invitations? um, we didn't include rsvp cards for you to mail back because we're trying to be environmentally conscious, and because YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T BOTHER MAILING THEM BACK TO US ANYWAYS. seriously, someone needs to give them the memo that this wedding isn't about them. can't wait for the seating arrangements dilemmas to come - though at least at that point we'll theoretically know who's coming!
i love when doctors state the obvious. it's kind of like when someone says (on this 97 degree day) "boy it's hot today". today my hand surgeon said "wow, so you really keloid poorly" ... and then later my orthopedist said "wow, you're left hip is really inflexible". thanks everyone - now that we're all on the same page, can we come up with a solution?
i think i need a secretary. and a billing dept.
insurance companies can bite me. (i never understood that phrase because why on earth would you ever want someone to bite you? don't we spend most of preschool teaching kids NOT to do that?) but seriously - what's the deal with finding ways to not pay for doctors so that hospitals come hunting the patient down all the time? my stacks of bills that people keep harassing me about just keeps piling up, and it's getting mighty tiring calling so many people to tell them to stop bothering me and balance billing me. not that i really understand what's going on with our healthcare system, and whether the new changes will make it any better (forgive the pessimism, it probably won't) - but it's definitely broken as of now.
fundraising for worlds has commenced, and i must say i'm thrilled with the way our staff has rallied and donated their time. that being said, i have to get the troops together and put this demo together - while under the naysaying of a certain sab who thought my demo was too long and i should nix the self-defense skit (ie. the funniest part of the whole demo) and the weapons (ie. the one thing most people haven't seen live). whatever, he's not going to be there anyways. as paula said, "i much prefer paul's way of doing things - 'do whatever you want' " whatever i want, i shall...
wedding planning is, as always, on the forefront, the back burner, and everywhere else. there's potential drama on the horizon involving a crotchety old uncle apparently refusing to come, and my parents getting offended. wonderful. i thought everyone had gotten all that out of their system by now, and that everyone was too old to be so cranky. seriously, i'm 30 and i'm too tired to induce unnecessary grief on people i would have picked apart 5 years ago ... how can someone who's like, 75, have so much energy to be so difficult? eesh. and what's up with my parents' friends having so many comments about our invitations? um, we didn't include rsvp cards for you to mail back because we're trying to be environmentally conscious, and because YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T BOTHER MAILING THEM BACK TO US ANYWAYS. seriously, someone needs to give them the memo that this wedding isn't about them. can't wait for the seating arrangements dilemmas to come - though at least at that point we'll theoretically know who's coming!
i love when doctors state the obvious. it's kind of like when someone says (on this 97 degree day) "boy it's hot today". today my hand surgeon said "wow, so you really keloid poorly" ... and then later my orthopedist said "wow, you're left hip is really inflexible". thanks everyone - now that we're all on the same page, can we come up with a solution?
i think i need a secretary. and a billing dept.
Friday, June 03, 2011
statistical significance
weddings are an interesting thing. guestlists in particular - you spend so much time agonizing over who you can and can't invite based on the constraints - but when the responses start coming in, you have a lot of data.
i have to say, it's been really interesting to see who says yes and who says no. or more specifically, if you compare people of similar life circumstances, who says yes and who says no.
for example, pregnancies. if i took all the couples i've invited so far who are pregnant and due +/- 3 months of our wedding and lumped them into the category of having a legitimate excuse to bail - it's surprising that some people say "i wouldn't miss it for the world, i'm definitely there!" and others, "i definitely can't".
i think it's hard not to take responses personally. i mean, honestly i've gone to probably only half the weddings i've been invited to, and the ones i haven't gone to, barring a "legitimate" conflict, have been due to an evaluation of closeness to that friend mixed with the cost/effort to attend. and i think most people decide somewhere along that persuasion.
i suppose it's inevitable that relationships are not always even. you may feel closer to someone than they feel to you, or vice versa. i think weddings are a pretty good litmus test of that ... of course it's not foolproof, but i was pleasantly surprised by some people who had no qualms about taking a day off of work or going out of their way to come - and others who i thought would never have missed it reply no without even giving a reason.
but perhaps that's just life, and there's a constant shifting and re-evaluating of relationships - and i'm not exempt from it either, i'm sure i've disappointed people along the way.
wedding conversation of the day:
friend: did you invite any of my close friends to your wedding?
me: um, are any of your close friends MY close friends?
i have to say, it's been really interesting to see who says yes and who says no. or more specifically, if you compare people of similar life circumstances, who says yes and who says no.
for example, pregnancies. if i took all the couples i've invited so far who are pregnant and due +/- 3 months of our wedding and lumped them into the category of having a legitimate excuse to bail - it's surprising that some people say "i wouldn't miss it for the world, i'm definitely there!" and others, "i definitely can't".
i think it's hard not to take responses personally. i mean, honestly i've gone to probably only half the weddings i've been invited to, and the ones i haven't gone to, barring a "legitimate" conflict, have been due to an evaluation of closeness to that friend mixed with the cost/effort to attend. and i think most people decide somewhere along that persuasion.
i suppose it's inevitable that relationships are not always even. you may feel closer to someone than they feel to you, or vice versa. i think weddings are a pretty good litmus test of that ... of course it's not foolproof, but i was pleasantly surprised by some people who had no qualms about taking a day off of work or going out of their way to come - and others who i thought would never have missed it reply no without even giving a reason.
but perhaps that's just life, and there's a constant shifting and re-evaluating of relationships - and i'm not exempt from it either, i'm sure i've disappointed people along the way.
wedding conversation of the day:
friend: did you invite any of my close friends to your wedding?
me: um, are any of your close friends MY close friends?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
plus one's
only single people ask if they can bring a date to a wedding. i know that sounds inherently obvious since married people by nature already have a date built-in. but i realized (and repented for the times i did this too) that people who have never had to plan for and pay for a wedding HAVE NO IDEA what an imposition it is to ask to bring a bf/gf. i think when i was dating david-the-douche, i was really excited to actually have someone to be at a wedding with and i asked my friends if i could bring a date. i got smacked down pretty good - along the tune of "you've been dating this guy for a month and you want to bring him to my WEDDING??"
so i've been there too - young and stupid and having no idea what a show these circuses are. today i had about 5 people ask me if they could bring their significant others. to which i had to say no, though in my head i'm thinking - if you're under 25 the probability that you'll end up with this person for life is pretty slim, and the chances of a horrible breakup are much larger, therefore you'll probably look back on my wedding day and only remember this person ...
i also had someone declare that they were bringing their kids and they'd sit them on their laps. now that was awkward - despite the many reiterations that kids outside the wedding party were not invited, this just brought up intense awkwardness in having to actually be blunt about saying no. which was pretty hard bc i love those kids ... but i could just see the family drama unfurl if i was suddenly inviting some kids but not all kids ... sigh.
the goal of only offending half the people at our wedding doesn't look as much like a slam dunk as it used to ... but i guess there are still 3 months left to figure those details out. well, less than 3 months. eep!
so i've been there too - young and stupid and having no idea what a show these circuses are. today i had about 5 people ask me if they could bring their significant others. to which i had to say no, though in my head i'm thinking - if you're under 25 the probability that you'll end up with this person for life is pretty slim, and the chances of a horrible breakup are much larger, therefore you'll probably look back on my wedding day and only remember this person ...
i also had someone declare that they were bringing their kids and they'd sit them on their laps. now that was awkward - despite the many reiterations that kids outside the wedding party were not invited, this just brought up intense awkwardness in having to actually be blunt about saying no. which was pretty hard bc i love those kids ... but i could just see the family drama unfurl if i was suddenly inviting some kids but not all kids ... sigh.
the goal of only offending half the people at our wedding doesn't look as much like a slam dunk as it used to ... but i guess there are still 3 months left to figure those details out. well, less than 3 months. eep!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
so it begins...
alan: hey you remember that one seinfeld episode?
me: you mean the one where george's fiancee dies from licking all the wedding invitations?
alan: yeah...
me: hrmm, maybe i should get a sponge...
invitations - done. first round - out the door. let the madness begin.
me: you mean the one where george's fiancee dies from licking all the wedding invitations?
alan: yeah...
me: hrmm, maybe i should get a sponge...
invitations - done. first round - out the door. let the madness begin.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
crazy may
t-minus 3 months and change - after a few weeks of relative calm, it appears that things are about to get hectic again, and soon. well, either that or the trepidation over the land as my mom prepares to come back here is just creating an overlay of tension as everyone braces themselves.
i seriously envy people who enjoy spending time with their mothers. i was watching friends the other day, when monica goes nuts about how her mother is always picking on her and just makes her tense.
anyways. may is turning out to be quite crazy - with kids finishing up school and flipping out about finals (i was tutoring straight after work till 11pm last night - actually falling asleep while staring at math problems), poomsae trials suddenly having been moved up and only getting a week to practice pairs with scott after he comes back from school, softball season in full swing (quite literally), the engagement shoot (and all the hair and makeup hoopla that goes along with all that nonsense), and my mom coming to town (at absolutely the busiest time of the season - but i suppose it would be equally crazy/inconvenient whenever she decided to come). yep, may is offically crazy.
the food tasting was this past week, and i have to say - food is food. i still stand by my opinion that wedding food is all pretty good and unless it's really bad, it's all the same. except that the coconut shrimp really was like a mounds bar without the chocolate. i've never been a fan of coconut, but even alan didn't like that one. regardless, tasting is done, and i guess we have to finalize our menu at some point soon.
my dress arrived last night, in a box so normal sized i would have thought it was the legos i had ordered for alan. (yes, he likes to play with legos. as do i.) i find it amazing they can stuff a wedding dress in there without it getting massively crushed - but i guess that's what all the layers are supposed to do - spring back. i called up some tailor someone recommended, got a quote, made an appt, and done. hopefully this'll be quick. she told me to bring my shoes, which had me a bit confused because i'm not sure if anyone's going to throw a fit about my plan to wear flip flops and force me to get real shoes. but whatever...unnee is bringing i-man to the alterations session so i figure even if my mom drives me nuts, i'll have some comic relief. i miss him.
otherwise, just waiting for the invites to come back so we can mail them out and the madness can start up again with guestlist modifications and such. started a new idea with programs, this should be fun. the favors arrived, that was fun too.
but first thing's first - try not to lose temper with mom this weekend / want to jump off bridge, set the flowers, send the invites, then practice like a madwoman for poomsae trials, compete, hopefully win, and then focus on looking like a girl (yuck) for engagement photos - and then breathe. yeehaw. and that's may in a nutshell.
i seriously envy people who enjoy spending time with their mothers. i was watching friends the other day, when monica goes nuts about how her mother is always picking on her and just makes her tense.
anyways. may is turning out to be quite crazy - with kids finishing up school and flipping out about finals (i was tutoring straight after work till 11pm last night - actually falling asleep while staring at math problems), poomsae trials suddenly having been moved up and only getting a week to practice pairs with scott after he comes back from school, softball season in full swing (quite literally), the engagement shoot (and all the hair and makeup hoopla that goes along with all that nonsense), and my mom coming to town (at absolutely the busiest time of the season - but i suppose it would be equally crazy/inconvenient whenever she decided to come). yep, may is offically crazy.
the food tasting was this past week, and i have to say - food is food. i still stand by my opinion that wedding food is all pretty good and unless it's really bad, it's all the same. except that the coconut shrimp really was like a mounds bar without the chocolate. i've never been a fan of coconut, but even alan didn't like that one. regardless, tasting is done, and i guess we have to finalize our menu at some point soon.
my dress arrived last night, in a box so normal sized i would have thought it was the legos i had ordered for alan. (yes, he likes to play with legos. as do i.) i find it amazing they can stuff a wedding dress in there without it getting massively crushed - but i guess that's what all the layers are supposed to do - spring back. i called up some tailor someone recommended, got a quote, made an appt, and done. hopefully this'll be quick. she told me to bring my shoes, which had me a bit confused because i'm not sure if anyone's going to throw a fit about my plan to wear flip flops and force me to get real shoes. but whatever...unnee is bringing i-man to the alterations session so i figure even if my mom drives me nuts, i'll have some comic relief. i miss him.
otherwise, just waiting for the invites to come back so we can mail them out and the madness can start up again with guestlist modifications and such. started a new idea with programs, this should be fun. the favors arrived, that was fun too.
but first thing's first - try not to lose temper with mom this weekend / want to jump off bridge, set the flowers, send the invites, then practice like a madwoman for poomsae trials, compete, hopefully win, and then focus on looking like a girl (yuck) for engagement photos - and then breathe. yeehaw. and that's may in a nutshell.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
groupons
all the hubbub over groupons and livingsocial etc has been a fad that i've actually embraced.
one that i got recently was $35 for $100 of services - which if all goes to plan i'll use to make our wedding albums. yay! i was actually pleasantly surprised to discover this new alternative, since most photobook sites don't offer nicer options for fancy albums, and photographers charge upwards of thousands of dollars for wedding albums. plus i like making albums =)
in other online shopping woes, my backpack is on a the verge of breaking the strap, and it turns out that it was discontinued a couple years ago and it's impossible to find it anymore. not even on ebay. sad =( they've come out with a new version of it, but i really liked the old one ...
the 2 church debate still goes on. this weekend - 2 easter services back to back. if they didn't conflict we'd be at 2 good fridays too ...
one that i got recently was $35 for $100 of services - which if all goes to plan i'll use to make our wedding albums. yay! i was actually pleasantly surprised to discover this new alternative, since most photobook sites don't offer nicer options for fancy albums, and photographers charge upwards of thousands of dollars for wedding albums. plus i like making albums =)
in other online shopping woes, my backpack is on a the verge of breaking the strap, and it turns out that it was discontinued a couple years ago and it's impossible to find it anymore. not even on ebay. sad =( they've come out with a new version of it, but i really liked the old one ...
the 2 church debate still goes on. this weekend - 2 easter services back to back. if they didn't conflict we'd be at 2 good fridays too ...
Monday, April 04, 2011
bucket dump
after the 4-5 mile hilly run on sat and the 4 hours of poomsae seminar-ing on sun - my legs feel like jelly. jelly with bits of pain interspersed. philly was a pretty smooth drive, though getting in and out of the city is always ridiculous. now that i think about it ... probably worth it to take a bus next time.
mit won the cup this year, which was pretty awesome. i got there just in time to catch the men's b team finals, what a nailbiter. it's funny, i don't know most of the kids anymore, save the few i met at the reunion weekend last fall, and the alums who have stuck around. dan gave me a quick introduction after his team speech and suddenly i see two black heads go WHOOSH - haha my korean boys and their "noonim!" make me laugh every time. it makes me feel old but honored, all at the same time. they're so cute though - sometimes i just love being korean.
al makes a valiant attempt to be good to my parents - i have to say, it's impressive. i think he had a grand plan to open up 2 google translate windows, and just count on typing/reading fast - but the fact that he'll voluntarily call my parents is noteworthy in my book. (i wonder if this means i can call them less...) =)
mit won the cup this year, which was pretty awesome. i got there just in time to catch the men's b team finals, what a nailbiter. it's funny, i don't know most of the kids anymore, save the few i met at the reunion weekend last fall, and the alums who have stuck around. dan gave me a quick introduction after his team speech and suddenly i see two black heads go WHOOSH - haha my korean boys and their "noonim!" make me laugh every time. it makes me feel old but honored, all at the same time. they're so cute though - sometimes i just love being korean.
al makes a valiant attempt to be good to my parents - i have to say, it's impressive. i think he had a grand plan to open up 2 google translate windows, and just count on typing/reading fast - but the fact that he'll voluntarily call my parents is noteworthy in my book. (i wonder if this means i can call them less...) =)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
a little stretched
i had a moment of drowning today, it was brief but perhaps all the more effective since it's spring break and most of my students are away so i thought i'd have nothing to do. (ok with a wedding, there's always something to do. or 10 somethings).
so for one there's poomsae trials, fast approaching - i just found out the schedule today and started thinking about the logistics of hotels and how to get there, etc. i have to say, it gets slightly annoying that people just expect me to plan these things. sigh. but that was one thing. i went to the dojang last night and kicked around for 2 hours, which was good to get back into things .. i can definitely feel that i'm getting old, though, my legs take forever to recover and my knees just can't take the pounding they used to.
on a similar note, i had all these requests lately for coaching, which is all well and good and i miss working with kids - but i forgot how much work it was scheduling, answering parents' questions, etc. oy.
i just figured out how to put our guestlists into our website (which btw has terrible user interface for web management) but it involved way too much manual entry. we keep meaning to sit down and do registries but in the end, i just end up doing them. which is kind of ironic considering that he's the one who cooks, so theoretically he should be the one to pick what goes in the kitchen. the other irony is that the one item we desperately need is a set of cooking knives - but i can't put it on my registry because of some korean thing where you can't give or receive knives from another person. the last time my mom bought me a knife, she made me give her a dollar so that technically i bought it off of her. a little silly if you ask me, but hey, i didn't make it up.
my brilliant idea to give the category of wedding flowers to my mom in order to give her something to do/feel important is backfiring - now she's sending me long emails every day. in korean. with things bolded and in red. huh.
for her birthday i gave my niece a choice of a master class violin lesson with my virtuoso friend and dinner (what we've done for the past 2 yrs) or a sleepover in the city at my new apt and hanging out in the city. she sent me a thank you card yesterday with her decision - which was that she wanted BOTH. wonderful. alan thought it was hilariously gutsy. and when i think about it, i should be so lucky that she wants to spend so much time with me. but looking at my insane calendar, i couldn't figure out where i was going to schedule in one outing, much less two!
oh yes, and softball season is upon us. i was recruited to play on some co-ed team starting late april - and they said they had practices. whaaaaat? this is obviously going to require more skill than i have. i'm a little nervous that i'm going to drag the team down - apparently the girl i'm replacing was pretty good. uh oh. but i'm pretty excited as well - i love team sports. joy softball in jersey is gonna start up soon as well, i'd be excited about that if i wasn't confused about whether manhattan should form its own team (and whether i could find someone to take the lead on that one).
throw into the mix that we're theoretically going to japan this summer, whenever they get their nuclear business in order. the show must go on, and this turbine isn't going to build itself...
so for one there's poomsae trials, fast approaching - i just found out the schedule today and started thinking about the logistics of hotels and how to get there, etc. i have to say, it gets slightly annoying that people just expect me to plan these things. sigh. but that was one thing. i went to the dojang last night and kicked around for 2 hours, which was good to get back into things .. i can definitely feel that i'm getting old, though, my legs take forever to recover and my knees just can't take the pounding they used to.
on a similar note, i had all these requests lately for coaching, which is all well and good and i miss working with kids - but i forgot how much work it was scheduling, answering parents' questions, etc. oy.
i just figured out how to put our guestlists into our website (which btw has terrible user interface for web management) but it involved way too much manual entry. we keep meaning to sit down and do registries but in the end, i just end up doing them. which is kind of ironic considering that he's the one who cooks, so theoretically he should be the one to pick what goes in the kitchen. the other irony is that the one item we desperately need is a set of cooking knives - but i can't put it on my registry because of some korean thing where you can't give or receive knives from another person. the last time my mom bought me a knife, she made me give her a dollar so that technically i bought it off of her. a little silly if you ask me, but hey, i didn't make it up.
my brilliant idea to give the category of wedding flowers to my mom in order to give her something to do/feel important is backfiring - now she's sending me long emails every day. in korean. with things bolded and in red. huh.
for her birthday i gave my niece a choice of a master class violin lesson with my virtuoso friend and dinner (what we've done for the past 2 yrs) or a sleepover in the city at my new apt and hanging out in the city. she sent me a thank you card yesterday with her decision - which was that she wanted BOTH. wonderful. alan thought it was hilariously gutsy. and when i think about it, i should be so lucky that she wants to spend so much time with me. but looking at my insane calendar, i couldn't figure out where i was going to schedule in one outing, much less two!
oh yes, and softball season is upon us. i was recruited to play on some co-ed team starting late april - and they said they had practices. whaaaaat? this is obviously going to require more skill than i have. i'm a little nervous that i'm going to drag the team down - apparently the girl i'm replacing was pretty good. uh oh. but i'm pretty excited as well - i love team sports. joy softball in jersey is gonna start up soon as well, i'd be excited about that if i wasn't confused about whether manhattan should form its own team (and whether i could find someone to take the lead on that one).
throw into the mix that we're theoretically going to japan this summer, whenever they get their nuclear business in order. the show must go on, and this turbine isn't going to build itself...
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
cake topper
was toying (no pun intended) with this cake topper idea, since al and i are both so into legos...though given the price of it ($79 - what?!?!) i was wondering how hard it would be to make our own...
haha, or whether it'd be totally tacky and we should scrap it altogether.
haha, or whether it'd be totally tacky and we should scrap it altogether.
Monday, March 21, 2011
rolling admissions
after much frustration over the save the dates and certain peoples' inability to respond with their addresses (or respond to their emails, period) - i had a brilliant idea (which alan, being the nice one, vetoed)...
rolling admissions!
see, i figured we could save ourselves a whole lot of trouble with this whole A-list B-list C-list probability of who will say yes or no and who will be offended they're not invited, etc ... by just sending out invitations to everyone and accepting the first 250 people who rsvp. and then we'd rank the people who came in after that and make a waitlist, so that when people changed their minds, we could fill those slots.
i thought it was genius. i mean, the people who really want to come to the wedding will surely committ first, and make their arrangements to be there. no matter how close we think we are to certain friends - well, if they can't even respond to give us their address, then why should we hunt them down to get them to come to our wedding?
i think it makes perfect sense. =)
in other news - i love my MOH. al was blown away at the torrent of details when we met up with her this weekend to do a status update and action item moving forwards. haha i think he thinks i'm just abnormal in my organizational tendencies - little did he see what could happen when 2 of us get together. but holy sheezmabobbers, carol is not only super positive and encouraging, but she's got checklists on top of my checklists and even brought me magazines to flip through to see what colors and hair nonsense i liked. if there was a MOH of the year, i'd write her a rec.
we booked the dj and the hair/makeup people. i guess it's weird but i was far more excited that they could airbrush my hand and make my scar go away than what they were gonna do to my face.
next on the list - finalizing invitations and getting started on these centerpiece things...
rolling admissions!
see, i figured we could save ourselves a whole lot of trouble with this whole A-list B-list C-list probability of who will say yes or no and who will be offended they're not invited, etc ... by just sending out invitations to everyone and accepting the first 250 people who rsvp. and then we'd rank the people who came in after that and make a waitlist, so that when people changed their minds, we could fill those slots.
i thought it was genius. i mean, the people who really want to come to the wedding will surely committ first, and make their arrangements to be there. no matter how close we think we are to certain friends - well, if they can't even respond to give us their address, then why should we hunt them down to get them to come to our wedding?
i think it makes perfect sense. =)
in other news - i love my MOH. al was blown away at the torrent of details when we met up with her this weekend to do a status update and action item moving forwards. haha i think he thinks i'm just abnormal in my organizational tendencies - little did he see what could happen when 2 of us get together. but holy sheezmabobbers, carol is not only super positive and encouraging, but she's got checklists on top of my checklists and even brought me magazines to flip through to see what colors and hair nonsense i liked. if there was a MOH of the year, i'd write her a rec.
we booked the dj and the hair/makeup people. i guess it's weird but i was far more excited that they could airbrush my hand and make my scar go away than what they were gonna do to my face.
next on the list - finalizing invitations and getting started on these centerpiece things...
Friday, March 18, 2011
found my wedding shoes
it's shockingly difficult to find white athletic flip flops - but after much searching, ebay had a pair exactly in my size.
my goal is to check off one wedding item per day. well, at least one.
booked the other honeymoon flights (tahiti packages only leave out of lax, so we had to get ourselves ax the country at additional cost - boo). however, i feel super savvy because i was able to use up the ff miles i've been saving all these years and score us business class nonstop flights from nyc to lax both ways - for a pretty decent redemption value too! yay for booking early - though aa recently bumped me down from platinum to gold so that was a slap in the face. and with the recent happenings in japan, it looks doubtful that we'll be going over there as much as we'd originally planned for this year.
but as with most things honeymoon, we're adhering to people's advice to splurge now bc we'll never splurge again. it boggles my mind how much this bungalow costs per night, but b&j say it was totally worth it ... and well, it's nonrefundable so there's no turning back now!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
wedding efficiency
being an efficient wedding planner is turning out to be somewhat of an oxymoron. though i'm sure that in the grand scheme of things, our planning is relatively smooth and quick - i realize that my high expectations of efficiency in any sort of process ... haha, well, are very high. what a way to test my patience, God, thanks. haha.
on the whole, i'm enjoying the process - mostly because i love planning. that being said, it's been stressful too (probably more for alan than me). he's been pulling his weight and then some, which i totally appreciate - i guess this process has been good to figure out we operate under an immense taskload. i have to say, this partnership thing is pretty awesome. and not just because i tell him what to do, and then he does it. (though ... that's most of it) =) google docs is my new bff.
the venue came together pretty quickly, i had taken c's starter list of venues, and then went online to search for all possible options based on pictures on websites. we made a spreadsheet where i'd enter in the contact info of all the places i thought were worth considering, and then he'd call them to get info on availability and pricing. (poor guy must've called 20 places or so). but as most of our friends say, he's the nicer half, so it's much better to send him to do the talking. from there we narrowed it down to 7 places that were available and in our price range - and we visited them, 6 of them in 2 days. it was pretty hairy, but in a way good to do them back to back and get a real comparison.
the third place we saw ended up being our winner - i liked the coordinator right away (al thought his previous job working for espn was totally obvious) - maybe that's why i liked him. regardless, he knew his grounds well and he knew how to sell his services without feeling greasy.
we ended up going to all of our other appointments just because we had set them up - and because we wanted all the information on possible dates and prices. but at the end of the day - like most of my decisions - it was made on gut. it's funny, i actually didn't have a great idea of what i wanted, but as eugy tells me, sometimes it's just as beneficial to know what you DON'T like. (and i do have definite opinions on things i don't like!)
the dress - probably the least important part to me about the wedding, since if i had it my way i'd just get married in my dobok. or jeans. (seriously - it's friday. why can't we have a casual friday wedding?) but i figured if i get to make 99% of the decisions about this thing, alan should get his one wish which is that i get all dressed out.
what expensive nonsense. however, eugy totally made it better by finding me less expensive alternatives, and for better or worse, i ended up buying the first dress i tried on. haha. i did end up trying on a whole bunch, and even went again the next day to another designer with mrs. sab - but in the end, i picked one dress from each session, compared them side by side ... and they were almost the exact same dress. same material, same cut, similar details ... yeah. so there you have it. looks fine to me, a little more elaborate than i'd like but not so much that it's weird. and best of all - half price. ordered it, and that was that.
the media - i had had my heart set on stillmotion since i saw them do b&c's wedding 2 years ago. i remember thinking "i have no idea who i'm gonna marry - but i know i'm gonna get these guys" so as soon as we started thinking about getting engaged, al was on the phone to canada, trying to figure out their availability. unfortunately the dollar plummetting, inflation, and wedding cinematography getting wildly popular has led to a price tag that's borderline obscene. but hey - the heart wants what it wants. i'm realizing thru all this wedding planning that i tend to go with my gut on my decisions, and find a way to justify it later. hrmm.
rounding out our media are the photographers - but that was fairly easy because they were the couple that i sgl'ed with last year. i guess i should have shopped around or compared, but ... in the end i think they do a nice job and they're cool people and our friends ... and it was one less thing to hem and haw over. done.
the food - well, the caterers are supposed to be good, but imho wedding food is wedding food. everyone can claim that theirs is awesome but barring being awful, i feel like no one's gonna care or remember. susie unnee begs to differ, as she thinks the food is the most important part - but honestly i just don't care as long as it's not bad i'm pretty sure it'll be fine. (that being said she took over the menu selection, so it's not even my choice anymore)
the wedding party - we'd had them selected for the past few months now, or at least 3 of the 4 we wanted to ask, each. i made a last minute game-time decision to make a switch (rather, i called her to tell her we got engaged and blurted out "will you be my bridesmaid?") but it all worked out in the end. i'm happy with my choices and everyone said yes! alan's guys totally don't know each other, but oh well - guys don't do that much anyhow. because sam wanted to be a bridesmaid so badly, i asked sab and mrs. sab if i could borrow dylan to be a jr. groomsman. i'm totally looking forward to seeing those two dance in together at the reception - they're so cute.
the invitations - thanks to bry's singapore connections, i think we're gonna get them printed and be able to chip away a teeny bit at our media fund. al's sister has been doing our designs and she's really talented - but she's also hard to read so i have no idea if she's happy to do it or annoyed. oh well. i think they're cute.
hair/makeup - another nonsensical expense, imho, but again, i realized if i care so much about the photos and video, i have to suffer thru this nonsense. (again, why life is unfair for women - guys just have to get a haircut and shave!) this is probably the #1 ridiculous expense i've found for the wedding - the amount of money they want to do my hair and slap chemicals on my face is crazy. but after much research, i settled on a korean company that has done a lot of my friends' weddings ... and just decided to grin and bear it. i really hope i don't come out looking like someone else - even if that someone else is really pretty.
the officiant - now THIS has surprisingly been the most difficult snafu of the wedding planning. who knew that for 2 people with extensive church backgrounds - it'd be so hard to find someone to marry us? eesh. it all started with his pastors, who said yes and then realized they have a scheduling conflict and will be on vacation that weekend. so then i wanted to be married by jc, my old iv staffworker and all around awesome dude. he said he could do the sermon - but he's not ordained, even though he's in ministry. sigh. so then we moved on to my senior pastor, who said yes, and then 2 days later the church administor points out that he's supposed to be leaving for honduras for a missions trip the day of our wedding. our assistant pastor is already performing another wedding. our other 2 pastors are not ordained.
yes, it's possible to go through 7 possible candidates and come up short to slap a wedding together. so as a backup, we have one of alan's friends - who is an ordained minister but younger than us and not himself married. on principle, we wanted to be married by someone who was married - but at this point it looks like yj may be doing the officiating while james does the ceremony. we shall see. pd actually wrote me back yesterday and said he would "make myself available!" since he doesn't like to leave before sunday for trips (totally heartwarming) - but this remains to be one thing left unchecked on my checklist for now...
the honeymoon - i had always had tahiti in the back of my mind, and since al didn't have a strong preference, once we decided to just bite the bullet in terms of the cost, he did a whole bunch of research (costco travel is apparently awesome) and we just booked it this week. another couple in our sg went to bora bora for their honeymoon and totally loved it, so we ended up booking at the same resort they stayed at. i'm really excited about the bungalows. =)
the favors - i know what i want. and i'm not going to post it here lest anyone is coming to the wedding ... but barring an issue with ordering or personalizing, it's pretty much checked off.
the music - this makes me uneasy because live musicians are unpredictable, but in general we decided on some people we wanted to include into our ceremony (who happen to have nice voices and/or piano skills) and that's that. he being musical took over this portion, and his friends are going to do a song. young was gracious enough to play piano for us for the ceremony, so ... done. since it's outdoors i didn't want to deal with instruments going out of tune and such, so no strings. as a sneak preview, we wanted our recessional to be the charlie brown theme song. a nice tribute to childhood, as well as something alan requested of the live pianist at the restaurant he took me to for our 3 month anniversary. (that pianist was really good, btw. as was the restaurant in florida. al is a pro with yelp). we picked our first dance song, and now the only other decision is whether to do a father/daughter and/or mother/son dance. i have mixed feelings about what our parents would like, because i feel like my mom will feel left out, but...hrmm.
the dj is al's realm - i find dj's to be like wedding food. you only notice them if they're bad. but this guy came highly recommended by our coordinator so hopefully he'll be cool. and as per gt's suggestion, you just give them a playlist and they play it. no sweet caroline or electric sliding at my wedding, that's all i have to say.
that's all i've got so far ... the list of things to do seems endless. i'm supposed to go research florists or something - i've been putting it off because i don't care about flowers. though i do want to see if i can incorporate throwing a football in for the bouquet toss - esp since i think the bouquet toss is really silly and demeaning to single girls.
t-minus 155 days (says theknot)
on the whole, i'm enjoying the process - mostly because i love planning. that being said, it's been stressful too (probably more for alan than me). he's been pulling his weight and then some, which i totally appreciate - i guess this process has been good to figure out we operate under an immense taskload. i have to say, this partnership thing is pretty awesome. and not just because i tell him what to do, and then he does it. (though ... that's most of it) =) google docs is my new bff.
the venue came together pretty quickly, i had taken c's starter list of venues, and then went online to search for all possible options based on pictures on websites. we made a spreadsheet where i'd enter in the contact info of all the places i thought were worth considering, and then he'd call them to get info on availability and pricing. (poor guy must've called 20 places or so). but as most of our friends say, he's the nicer half, so it's much better to send him to do the talking. from there we narrowed it down to 7 places that were available and in our price range - and we visited them, 6 of them in 2 days. it was pretty hairy, but in a way good to do them back to back and get a real comparison.
the third place we saw ended up being our winner - i liked the coordinator right away (al thought his previous job working for espn was totally obvious) - maybe that's why i liked him. regardless, he knew his grounds well and he knew how to sell his services without feeling greasy.
we ended up going to all of our other appointments just because we had set them up - and because we wanted all the information on possible dates and prices. but at the end of the day - like most of my decisions - it was made on gut. it's funny, i actually didn't have a great idea of what i wanted, but as eugy tells me, sometimes it's just as beneficial to know what you DON'T like. (and i do have definite opinions on things i don't like!)
the dress - probably the least important part to me about the wedding, since if i had it my way i'd just get married in my dobok. or jeans. (seriously - it's friday. why can't we have a casual friday wedding?) but i figured if i get to make 99% of the decisions about this thing, alan should get his one wish which is that i get all dressed out.
what expensive nonsense. however, eugy totally made it better by finding me less expensive alternatives, and for better or worse, i ended up buying the first dress i tried on. haha. i did end up trying on a whole bunch, and even went again the next day to another designer with mrs. sab - but in the end, i picked one dress from each session, compared them side by side ... and they were almost the exact same dress. same material, same cut, similar details ... yeah. so there you have it. looks fine to me, a little more elaborate than i'd like but not so much that it's weird. and best of all - half price. ordered it, and that was that.
the media - i had had my heart set on stillmotion since i saw them do b&c's wedding 2 years ago. i remember thinking "i have no idea who i'm gonna marry - but i know i'm gonna get these guys" so as soon as we started thinking about getting engaged, al was on the phone to canada, trying to figure out their availability. unfortunately the dollar plummetting, inflation, and wedding cinematography getting wildly popular has led to a price tag that's borderline obscene. but hey - the heart wants what it wants. i'm realizing thru all this wedding planning that i tend to go with my gut on my decisions, and find a way to justify it later. hrmm.
rounding out our media are the photographers - but that was fairly easy because they were the couple that i sgl'ed with last year. i guess i should have shopped around or compared, but ... in the end i think they do a nice job and they're cool people and our friends ... and it was one less thing to hem and haw over. done.
the food - well, the caterers are supposed to be good, but imho wedding food is wedding food. everyone can claim that theirs is awesome but barring being awful, i feel like no one's gonna care or remember. susie unnee begs to differ, as she thinks the food is the most important part - but honestly i just don't care as long as it's not bad i'm pretty sure it'll be fine. (that being said she took over the menu selection, so it's not even my choice anymore)
the wedding party - we'd had them selected for the past few months now, or at least 3 of the 4 we wanted to ask, each. i made a last minute game-time decision to make a switch (rather, i called her to tell her we got engaged and blurted out "will you be my bridesmaid?") but it all worked out in the end. i'm happy with my choices and everyone said yes! alan's guys totally don't know each other, but oh well - guys don't do that much anyhow. because sam wanted to be a bridesmaid so badly, i asked sab and mrs. sab if i could borrow dylan to be a jr. groomsman. i'm totally looking forward to seeing those two dance in together at the reception - they're so cute.
the invitations - thanks to bry's singapore connections, i think we're gonna get them printed and be able to chip away a teeny bit at our media fund. al's sister has been doing our designs and she's really talented - but she's also hard to read so i have no idea if she's happy to do it or annoyed. oh well. i think they're cute.
hair/makeup - another nonsensical expense, imho, but again, i realized if i care so much about the photos and video, i have to suffer thru this nonsense. (again, why life is unfair for women - guys just have to get a haircut and shave!) this is probably the #1 ridiculous expense i've found for the wedding - the amount of money they want to do my hair and slap chemicals on my face is crazy. but after much research, i settled on a korean company that has done a lot of my friends' weddings ... and just decided to grin and bear it. i really hope i don't come out looking like someone else - even if that someone else is really pretty.
the officiant - now THIS has surprisingly been the most difficult snafu of the wedding planning. who knew that for 2 people with extensive church backgrounds - it'd be so hard to find someone to marry us? eesh. it all started with his pastors, who said yes and then realized they have a scheduling conflict and will be on vacation that weekend. so then i wanted to be married by jc, my old iv staffworker and all around awesome dude. he said he could do the sermon - but he's not ordained, even though he's in ministry. sigh. so then we moved on to my senior pastor, who said yes, and then 2 days later the church administor points out that he's supposed to be leaving for honduras for a missions trip the day of our wedding. our assistant pastor is already performing another wedding. our other 2 pastors are not ordained.
yes, it's possible to go through 7 possible candidates and come up short to slap a wedding together. so as a backup, we have one of alan's friends - who is an ordained minister but younger than us and not himself married. on principle, we wanted to be married by someone who was married - but at this point it looks like yj may be doing the officiating while james does the ceremony. we shall see. pd actually wrote me back yesterday and said he would "make myself available!" since he doesn't like to leave before sunday for trips (totally heartwarming) - but this remains to be one thing left unchecked on my checklist for now...
the honeymoon - i had always had tahiti in the back of my mind, and since al didn't have a strong preference, once we decided to just bite the bullet in terms of the cost, he did a whole bunch of research (costco travel is apparently awesome) and we just booked it this week. another couple in our sg went to bora bora for their honeymoon and totally loved it, so we ended up booking at the same resort they stayed at. i'm really excited about the bungalows. =)
the favors - i know what i want. and i'm not going to post it here lest anyone is coming to the wedding ... but barring an issue with ordering or personalizing, it's pretty much checked off.
the music - this makes me uneasy because live musicians are unpredictable, but in general we decided on some people we wanted to include into our ceremony (who happen to have nice voices and/or piano skills) and that's that. he being musical took over this portion, and his friends are going to do a song. young was gracious enough to play piano for us for the ceremony, so ... done. since it's outdoors i didn't want to deal with instruments going out of tune and such, so no strings. as a sneak preview, we wanted our recessional to be the charlie brown theme song. a nice tribute to childhood, as well as something alan requested of the live pianist at the restaurant he took me to for our 3 month anniversary. (that pianist was really good, btw. as was the restaurant in florida. al is a pro with yelp). we picked our first dance song, and now the only other decision is whether to do a father/daughter and/or mother/son dance. i have mixed feelings about what our parents would like, because i feel like my mom will feel left out, but...hrmm.
the dj is al's realm - i find dj's to be like wedding food. you only notice them if they're bad. but this guy came highly recommended by our coordinator so hopefully he'll be cool. and as per gt's suggestion, you just give them a playlist and they play it. no sweet caroline or electric sliding at my wedding, that's all i have to say.
that's all i've got so far ... the list of things to do seems endless. i'm supposed to go research florists or something - i've been putting it off because i don't care about flowers. though i do want to see if i can incorporate throwing a football in for the bouquet toss - esp since i think the bouquet toss is really silly and demeaning to single girls.
t-minus 155 days (says theknot)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
single-sensitive
in the 30 years of my life (yeah, admitting i'm 30) i have to say that one of the suckiest days of the year is valentine's day. even now, having someone to celebrate it with, i find it to be an overmarketed, overpriced, floral and hallmark holiday. (and that's bad if i say it, bc i love hallmark).
one thing that alan and i have vowed, being 2 people who have been single for almost our entire lives, is to be sensitive to singles around us. and i hope we remember that, even when the memories of being lonely and waiting around/getting rejected fade away.
it really bothers me when people flaunt their relationships, particularly in settings (uh, like small group) where there are a lot of singles - particularly older singles. that's just not cool.
aside from the fact that i'm not really into pda to begin with, alan has learned not to be offended when i elbow him or shrug him off when he puts his arm around me or wants to hold my hand sometimes. sometimes it's because i'm embarassed, but more often because i just don't feel the need to make other people more acutely aware that they're single.
we actually contemplating hanging out with our single friends on valentine's day instead of celebrating it - which i guess in restrospect we ended up doing inadvertantly because we went to the dojang and worked out. we did happen to go out on saturday and have a nice dinner and do some special things that he planned out (good job, dude) but really, who needs to know about all that stuff? certainly not facebook and all the pictures of roses and homemade dinners that girls post up. i'm happy for them, but i guess i just feel like it's a bit insensitive.
haha maybe i'm still a bitter single woman on the inside. some things are hard to let go of...=)
one thing that alan and i have vowed, being 2 people who have been single for almost our entire lives, is to be sensitive to singles around us. and i hope we remember that, even when the memories of being lonely and waiting around/getting rejected fade away.
it really bothers me when people flaunt their relationships, particularly in settings (uh, like small group) where there are a lot of singles - particularly older singles. that's just not cool.
aside from the fact that i'm not really into pda to begin with, alan has learned not to be offended when i elbow him or shrug him off when he puts his arm around me or wants to hold my hand sometimes. sometimes it's because i'm embarassed, but more often because i just don't feel the need to make other people more acutely aware that they're single.
we actually contemplating hanging out with our single friends on valentine's day instead of celebrating it - which i guess in restrospect we ended up doing inadvertantly because we went to the dojang and worked out. we did happen to go out on saturday and have a nice dinner and do some special things that he planned out (good job, dude) but really, who needs to know about all that stuff? certainly not facebook and all the pictures of roses and homemade dinners that girls post up. i'm happy for them, but i guess i just feel like it's a bit insensitive.
haha maybe i'm still a bitter single woman on the inside. some things are hard to let go of...=)
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
desert island
alan asked me what i would take to a desert island, if i was stuck on it for the rest of my life - assuming that food and shelter would be somehow attainable on the island.
he shot down my magical "internet connection" solution, by which i could stay connected to the outside world (and get myself off the island, perhaps with the assistance of google maps).
so my next best solution was ... tabasco sauce. figured, if there's enough edible substance to stay alive, may as well bring a contingency plan to make sure i can eat whatever there is to eat.
he shot down my magical "internet connection" solution, by which i could stay connected to the outside world (and get myself off the island, perhaps with the assistance of google maps).
so my next best solution was ... tabasco sauce. figured, if there's enough edible substance to stay alive, may as well bring a contingency plan to make sure i can eat whatever there is to eat.
Monday, January 24, 2011
pet peeves
we shared our pet peeves in tlc last week and of course i blanked...
today i realized what my top pet peeve is...or some of the ones up there...
a) when people type words and extend them with the consonants instead of the vowels. ie. when you read it and it's not what the person would actually say. like "love ittttttttttt" no one would hold a "t" that long, that's just nonsense. (on a side note "helloooooo" is ok, bc you can actually say that.)
b) when people are grammatically incorrect just to be "cool". or the phrase "lol". i think it's just silly, though less so than "rofl", which again, very few people do....
c) when people spell things wrong in order to be trendy...unless it actually sounds like the word AND shortens it. like "u" for "you" or "tho" for "though". but the days of "kewl" for "cool" annoyed me so much...
today i realized what my top pet peeve is...or some of the ones up there...
a) when people type words and extend them with the consonants instead of the vowels. ie. when you read it and it's not what the person would actually say. like "love ittttttttttt" no one would hold a "t" that long, that's just nonsense. (on a side note "helloooooo" is ok, bc you can actually say that.)
b) when people are grammatically incorrect just to be "cool". or the phrase "lol". i think it's just silly, though less so than "rofl", which again, very few people do....
c) when people spell things wrong in order to be trendy...unless it actually sounds like the word AND shortens it. like "u" for "you" or "tho" for "though". but the days of "kewl" for "cool" annoyed me so much...
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