fasting

so pastor danny's sermon last week had a brief call to fast - and over sermon discussion, we decided to fast together for the next month as a tlc. pretty cool idea.

if fasting is defined as giving up a legitimate pleasure for gaining intimacy with God...in other words, choosing God over something else...i was thinking about what i could give up for a month that would be difficult, but realistic enough that i would actually do it.

and so...for the next 4 weeks, i will be fasting secular music. it sounded like a good idea in theory, but as the start date approached, i realized...aw crap. i really LIKE my music. i listen to my ipod probably about 3 hours a day while commuting. not to mention while i'm at work or at home.

but i guess i wanted to try this whole fasting thing. people always say to fast and pray about matters such as career or marriage or whatever else. so that was the thought...i don't entirely see how fasting has much to do with me getting married any faster. but why not. can't knock it till you've tried it. and like the bleeding woman or jairus or the "help my unbelief" guy - it's only in desperation at all other failed attempts that we come before God.

so why music (vs. food). after years of weight-cutting, the whole notion of depriving my body of food doesn't have much of a spiritual feel. it's do-able, and i know i can starve myself on my own willpower. of course, it would be hard, but since i've done it before (healthily or not), i just didn't think it was the best way to fast.

that being said, i want to hear God more clearly, and what goes through my head, but lyrics and beats of songs. as much as it might drive me crazy that "baby are you down, down, down, down, down" repeats incessantly - i still love that song. so i was hoping that by only listening to classical or christian music, i'd have more edifying lyrics streaming through my subconscious - and that it would facilitate my original attempts to pray on my commute, or be more prayerful in general.

all theory.

days 1 and 2 have been ok. i'm already missing my kpop like nobody's business. but thankfully, i realized i have a whole lot of christian music (thanks to bbans's music library transfer a couple yrs ago) that i haven't ever listened to. so i wiped my ipod (lest i be tempted) and made a separate playlist of "new" music to try each day. as i find songs i like, i'll move them over to my regular playlists. so far, lincoln brewster is awesome.

i can't say it's had much of an effect so far, but it's only been a couple days. but i do wonder if it'll make me a more hopeful and optimistic person at the end of this month.