dealbreakers - part 1

gut reactions and dealbreakers are funny things. i think finding a spouse is strikingly similar to finding a home. obviously there are some key differences, seeing as how you rarely think of picking one house and being there forever. but regardless - the process, uncertainties, and reactions have been ... uncanny.

when i was out to purchase my current apt 4+ years ago, my broker told me that i just had to go to a lot of open houses. he told me to look in the paper and just go take a look, even if the apts didn't look at all interesting in the ads. most of the time, my gut reaction was right - if it didn't impress on paper, it didn't impress in person. but it was an educational exercise nonetheless, because as i saw apt after apt, i grew increasingly aware of what i was NOT willing to live with. in the reality of being on a tight budget for a starter apt and realizing that there were limitations as to what i could afford ... certain things popped out that i never expected.

for example, i saw this apt in a very nice neighborhood, twice the size of most of the apts that were being offered - but it was the top floor of a 5 story walk-up. after one visit, my broker was absolutely floored that i rejected this apt and didn't give it a second thought. and i explained to him "mrt, i work out 2-4 hours a day. people kick me every night and i'm usually limping and sore on the way home. there's no way i can walk up 5 flights of stairs after that, carrying all my gear and books, every night."

he thought i was crazy to turn this down.

since then, he has joined taekwondo. this time around, he didn't bother showing me any buildings without elevators.

some differences, you learn to live with. some, you just know you can't. there would be no compromise living in a walk-up - the only possible compromise would be on my part, either just getting used to it, or growing a resentment for the home i couldn't reach.