sg envy

songs of the moment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfjX66JCgu0

every time i get a new computer, i lose songs in the backup. mp3's are like socks - you put them all in there, you pull them all out - and inevitably some just run off by themselves and disappear. and when they're korean - it's that much harder to figure out how to redownload them.

fail.

* * * * * *

pdny had a good sermon yesterday. this whole series has been good, matt 5.

bry told me the other day that it's ok to tell God he sucks. actually, he reminds me of that a lot. but it's true - essentially, that's what prayer is. it's not like God doesn't know what i think prior to my voicing it. that whole omniscient thing isn't something you can get around.

anyways, so i have sg envy. i realized this has been building up since the beginning of the plant, but it only adds to the "God, i thought you were supposed to provide" angst. first off, i didn't really like the prospect of leading alone. but there it was. no coleader, no champions, and as of last week, few signups and the ones that did were all new. no manpower. and part of me just takes the extra jab that young and ptr will continue tlc and somehow i got stuck flying solo. i enjoyed last year's core. i really hope God provides.

i dislike hoping these days. it makes me tired.

my hand hurts. i think it's gotten worse.