love v. 1.0

I'd like to clarify that this blog series on 'love' has nothing to do with the romantic valentine sort, (though I realize remarkably coincidental that it kicks off around this hallmark holiday time of year) - nothing more than a coincidence, my friends. It's more of an investigation into 1 Cor. 13, musings and reflections along those lines which have been long coming. I guess this was spurred as a result of coming across, for the first time perhaps in my life, someone I can't love and can't love me - and being forced to love each other anyways. As my coworker said so wisely - "특별이 하나님 일인대..." (I'm sure that was spelled wrong, but "In God's work, no less...")

This concept is so foreign to me - I can generally find ways to love most people, and those with whom I have no common ground to stand on...well, we just naturally don't end up a part of each other's lives. However, sooner or later everyone meets their match.

So ... here goes nothing. Feel free to leave comments - not to make me feel good, but I'd love to hear thoughts bc this whole 'what does it mean to truly love someone' thing is...confusing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love is patient - See post on Dec. 30.

[Love] is not self-seeking

Pastor Young said some pretty convicting things this weekend in his sermons. I particularly liked the last one about servanthood. (Phil 2/Mark 10). Some cause for rumination.

I think that one of the most difficult situations is when you are called to love and serve when you don't see fruit for your efforts, nor signs that there ever will be. Or when the response to your efforts aren't just apathetically neutral - but sometimes even negative.

I think that in the instant gratification oriented culture today, we want to be the reapers of the harvest. We want to be the person who leads someone to Christ, the one who counsels someone out of depression, who prays for someone to a breakthrough - not just because we get to share it in, but also because there's almost a 'credit' to the good work being done.

But that's when it becomes about us. It reminds me of that one FRIENDS episode ('the one where Pheobe hates PBS') where Pheobe goes out of her way to try and prove that she can do something nice for someone else without having any gratification or self-serving motives. But as she tries, she grows progressively more frustrated realizing that she can't be completely altruistic, and that at some point, every good deed turns around and ends up benefitting herself.

This is not to say that you shouldn't feel good about loving and caring for people - I think that we get to share in the joy when we see people grow, change, improve, etc. But what happens when there are none of these things?

I think that very few people want to be planters. The ones who toil under the hot sun and tediously plant...and plant...and plant. The ones who spend the late nights talking someone through their problems - only to get another call the next day about the exact same things. The ones who will teach the students who continue not to care enough to want better for themselves. The ones who care for others and never get cared for in return. The ones who go out of their way and spend hours doing something thoughtful - and never get thanked. The ones who have to hand off what they started, who don't get to be the ones who water and witness the growth, who may never know if their work produced any fruit...for all they know they worked so hard, invested so much - for nothing.

No change. No thank you's. No recognition. No resolutions. No promises. No respect.

What do you do when you get nothing - not even satisfaction or encouragement - out of loving someone?

"There are times you will not be thanked or recognized by anyone/anything other than the fact that it pleases God."

And the million-dollar-question is: Is that enough?

Dun dun dunnnnnnnn...