safety factors

Another geeky analogy - from engineering to relationships.

In engineering, we have this element called the 'safety factor'. It's basically a number that you throw in after a long series of calculations that covers your butt in case you forgot something, made a mistake, or some disaster happens. This is why bridges don't fall and things don't explode - every system is overdesigned and overconstrained just in case.

I realize that people and relationships involve safety factors as well.

As you get to know someone, you can observe and analyze them and take data on their tendencies. You can make hypotheses, set up experiments, figure out what you can and can't expect. But at the end of the day, you have to throw in a safety factor to account for any number of curve balls that may occur and potentially blast your relationship to a crumbling bridge. (Reference post on building bridges).

And that safety factor is called grace.

When I was in school, we were told, as a rule of thumb, to throw in a safety factor of 2. So whatever you calculate out to be the minimum strength of a beam - double it. Because ultimately, it's not a question - your product or project HAS to work.

So even though you may get along great with someone in the beginning - as you get to know them you will inevitably find flaws in their character. And they will find flaws in yours. When you trust someone, they will eventually disappoint you. Sometimes they will disappoint you often. Your calculations give you an awareness of where failure would occur, if in optimal testing conditions.

But life is rarely like that. So that's where you have to throw in that safety factor of 2, and let that grace buffer where you thought failure would not occur. It's very hard to give grace when caught off guard. But if you're aware of the necessity of the safety factor - it's there when you need it.

Though sometimes you run into people who require a safety factor of 10...