shooting the messenger

You can only shoot the messenger so many times before they stop delivering messages.

I find it ass-backwards (what a fun phrase to say) how this works:

I get asked for my opinion. I spend weeks and weeks writing, editing, filtering, fluffing my valid and justified points down. The response I get is not only stubbornly unbudging (expected) but personally accusatory on no uncertain terms - and then ended with a disclaimer about how much my opinon is valued and how I shouldn't be upset because nothing is a personal attack.

So then, with my lack of response at this vent that is completely unorganized and without any real logic besides "because I said so" - and clearly if a disclaimer to not be offended had to be added at the end, it was hastily noted that what preceeded it was clearly offensive - I get this inquiry:

i am sure that you took my email in the spirit in which it was intended, right?

i tried to

good

i appreciate the disclaimer at the end, and i see where you're coming from, though i dont' feel like i was understood

well don't sulk ok? let's talk about happier things ... like my back kick last night ...

yeah yeah...gloat all you want

thank you for the permission

you know you were waiting for it

the backkick or the gloating or your comment?

all of the above

ok. gotta run.
don't sulk
can i hear an "nae"
signing off

The more I think about it - NO! Screw the "nae" - I will NOT be bullied (or coaxed as the case may be) into yes-sir-ing this one.

What I don't understand is - when I want to communicate, the best way to get them to listen is to NOT say anything and fall off the face of the earth. That, for some reason, is the indicator that I'm upset. Then I get contacted (only after they exhaust the other sources first) about what's wrong. If I attempt to express myself at any point prior to being addressed, all hopes at actual communication is lost because they're not at the listening phase yet. So listening only begins where talking stops.

So for communication to exist, I have to do what is unnatural to me, which is not to express myself. And he has to do what is unnatural to him, which is to anticipate how I'm feeling and ask.

Ass-backwards, I say.

And he wouldn't be checking up on me if he didn't know that this was sulk-worthy.

People really should stop shooting the messenger. The messenger goes on strike tomorrow.