enough

oh thank God, 29 is already looking better than 28. at the risk of bringing curses upon myself, it couldn't have gotten too much worse - but as bry commented this morning when i shared some good news with him - it's looking better already.

so my broker tells me this morning that we have an offer - and that i'm going to take it. praise God indeed - it's been a good week on the real estate front. the offer was just at the lower limit of what i was willing to take for my apt - funny enough, the magic number that i had formulated in my head long before we had even discussed what to make the asking price. and what's interesting to me is that at the end of the day, the number we made the asking price was barely above that magic number threshold i had come up with. so it was pretty likely that it'd end up being negotiated lower - or that we'd have to lower the asking price anyways, since the apt has been on the market for over a month without any decent offers.

last week my mortgage broker came back to me with an approval for my new mortgage - i sent back the last of the remaining asset docs and for the time being, we're all set. all i need now is for my new apt to hurry up and finish being built, inspected, and closed - which is estimated for april but knowing construction, could be anywhere from april to april.

so at the end of the day - i will be homeless for some period of time. but that's definitely better than carrying 2 mortgages. and it's a huge relief to know that things are moving forwards, in the right direction. for all the headache and confusion that has transpired - and for how much i hate to make big decisions where there is not clear-cut right answer - it's nice to see the risks getting smaller and the lines becoming darker as definition sets in.

things don't always - or perhaps never - work out the way you think they would. and i'm not so optimistic to say that they always end up better. but you get what you get, and you don't get upset.

if i could go back and do it all over again - i would not have fought at aau natls. i would not have broken my hand. i would not have suffered surgeries and rehab and all that life has sucked as a result. i wouldn't have tried eharm and wouldn't have met the douche that was david.

but had that not happened, i would not have been fed up with my small apt. would not have had all this time to be looking for a new place, making the financials happen, and gearing for the next stage of life.

was it worth it?

absolutely not. i'm no blind optimist.

but, given as i have no control over all that's transpired...i asked God to throw me a bone, and He did. good real estate news the last week or so, and also, combined sg with the miaos to form a large sg with a diff structure. ideal? no. better? yes.

sometimes when you're so down you just don't want to play anymore, God gives you just enough to keep going. and enough is...well, it's enough. i don't feel lavished upon nor necessarily provided for or listened to (the operative word being feel - the disconnect between the God i know and the God i feel has been vast) - but there's enough of a reminder that i have not been forgotten. and for this moment, today, that is enough.