toe the line

once again, i think i have difficulty with the general concept of grace.

it comes out most visibly in tkd, when someone steps out of line beyond their rank, or assumes privileges that they shouldn't. or rather - when they do such things, and get away with them.

dodo and i were talking about this the other day, because sweetie has a tendency to step out of line. usually unknowingly, and the guy is as harmless as they come - but the biggest peeve we had was that he would take class without full dobok.

back in the old days, we used to NEVER get away with not wearing full dobok in class. in fact, you had to do pushups if you weren't wearing a ws dobok. the most you could get away with was training with a jacket over the dobok. but even that was implicitly supposed to be a ws or usa (or country) jacket.

dodo, jaac, and i would rally our efforts to train to music (always denied), and to train in underarmour (only after class). but we knew where our place was, and if we toed the line, we'd get smacked (or noogie'd) down, and then we knew not to ask. you waited until you were spoken to, you didn't speak first.

well, times have changed. sabs have gotten soft. and a new generation of etiquette-less team has emerged. we fought so hard to train without a dobok top, and if anything, i won that right when i was cutting so much weight i had to wear 4 jackets every session.

and along comes a color belt who thinks it's acceptable to train wearing shorts, or saunters into class wearing a shirt. now, the fault is also with the instructors that allow it to happen, but still - that's pretty ballsy. and much like the crazy screaming toddlers in the supermarkets - you have to slap the wrist early on and be consistent, or else it's all chaos.

i guess i (and the old school folks that are left) miss the structure of yore - when the ship was right tight(ly) and there was order and respect and everyone knew where they belonged. sure made life easier. somewhere, we've become americanized or something, and the result is sloppiness all around. you can even see it in the tests.

so the holiday party is upon us, and it was once meant for black belts past and present. even candidates who had tested and not fully passed (ie didn't break their boards) didn't necessarily get invited.

for some reason, exceptions have been made lately. and while that's all well and good - the principle behind it sort of demeans the special-ness (yes, i realize that's not a word) of an achievement and rite of passage, which i think is really too bad.

in a world of instant gratification, i guess i feel like it's a disservice to give in to those who impatiently want the rewards now for what they haven't earned, or for which they haven't paid their dues. makes you wonder whether they'll see the value in it and strive the same way. (of course, it's silly to think of it over a holiday party, but it's just an example).

but of course, all this is akin to the elder brother syndrome, which i constantly embody. no lie, the feeling of entitlement is probably my greatest struggle. or annoyance at others' feelings of entitlement when not deserved. same thing, i suppose.

which makes me wonder - can you have grace and discipline simultaneously? bc obviously a tkd school can't be run on a fluffy let-the-kids-do-whatever-they-want mode...there have to be consequences and heck, rich parents who can't control their kids send them so that at least SOMEONE will.

such is the confusion in my head. (better to debate this now than when i have kids, i suppose...)