man enough

Life is too short to try to make everyone happy. Look at me - like you like to remind me, I'm so mean. I have to be because I can't please everybody, and I know it.

He goes on, but then it gets more detailed. It really made me think - how much of what I do is based on pleasing or appeasing other people? Even people who aren't worth pleasing, people who have set out to make me miserable at no care for me at all?

Am I so conflict-averse that I would take efforts to pacify a situation which is entirely not my fault, just because someone is raising a stink about it, and "not man enough" to accept the blame which rests entirely on him?

I guess this is why Jaac tells me that much of my heartache and melting down occurs because I invite people to walk all over me. It's funny, because I can be a hard-ass and a dictator - but only in certain roles, and really, only to people I care about (and let's face it - really only to other Koreans).

Sometimes I wonder...and I guess he's right. Eh, they usually are. But a lot of times it's hard to just let things go, especially when you know that you're right. It should be enough to know that you are, but you can't force someone else to see that they're wrong.

I will ignore him until he comes to apologize. And if he is man enough to do it, I will forgive him.

I find that it takes a lot of character to be able to carry out such a statement. For one thing, by ignoring someone who is being petty towards you means that you have enough self-confidence to not be influenced by someone else's opinion. Moreover, when someone has offended you to the point where they ought to apologize, it's even more difficult to just let everything go and forgive them if they do apologize.

I'm brought back to forgiveness and how difficult it is to forgive another completely. But that's what Jesus calls us to do, and interestingly enough, ignoring someone I suppose can be a preliminary step towards forgiveness. Because if you've forgiven someone, then what they say or do won't bother you, because you're not faulting them for it and therefore not dwelling on it.

I have issues with dwelling on things that aren't worth dwelling on.