love is patient

The first in thoughts about love. (Note to self: I should go back and do a Corinthians study...)

Love is patient.

I suppose that is the thing about love. You can't make anyone else love you. If you could, it wouldn't really be love. God obviously knew that, in giving us free will, thereby running the risk that we might not love Him back, and letting sin exist. That's a pretty tough decision to make...perhaps love is accepting the fact that someone may choose not to love you, and still being able to love them anyways. Now THAT is patience.

I remember when I came down a couple years ago in the summer to train for the last Universiade. At the time, Daniel was 2 years old and an absolute terror. I remember seeing him running through the old dojang, sometimes screaming, sometimes crying, all the time very visible and very loud. Maybe it's because he's Korean, maybe I'm just stubborn and need to get along with people, maybe I just want children to like me - but for some reason I was attached to him. So every day I would walk in and say "hi Daniel!" and his dad would tell him to say "hi noona!" to which he would respond by either:

a) saying "NO!"
b) turning his head away
c) running up to me and hitting me or kicking me in the shins

Definitely didn't appreciate that last one.

When I first moved down to NY last year, Daniel was 3 years old and more verbal. He still had bratty tendencies, and still refused to acknowledge my presence unless he was in an extremely good mood, or if he wanted something from me. Nevertheless, I always walked into the dojang looking for him and would greet him with a big smile and a "hi Daniel!" Although he stopped kicking me, his reactions were still unpredictable. His dad would just make excuses that he was shy, or tired, but I was still saddened by the fact that maybe this kid just didn't like me. I mean, he didn't like anyone, really, but...it was still sad he didn't like me.

Over the last year, especially seeing him day in and day out at the dojang, has brought about a change that I couldn't have expected when rubbing my shins 2 years ago. What brought about the change? I've always made it a point NOT to be the noona with candy or toys unless it was his birthday or Christmas - nor to be the one who coddled him and let him get away with bad behavior. As much as I wanted him to like me, I didn't want to buy his affections.

In the end, I think it was about time. He obviously grew out of the terrible two's he was in when I first met him - but it was also a matter of time spent together and familiarity. The hours spent babysitting and playing together, humoring his rambunctiousness to play guns or Power Rangers or whatever other violent things little boys come up with.

I'm glad I didn't give up on Daniel, even if a lot of people told me I should and that he wasn't worth it. Of all the kids around, he was one of the most troublesome and moody. But looking back on all the times I was rejected by this little kid, it's forgotten by how things are now.

Now when I walk in, I get a big grin and an enthusiastic "hi noona!", accompanied by a hug and kiss on the cheek. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it's the best part of my day.

Love is definitely patient. The question is - how patient am I?