is it in you?

i lost. twice. now i remember quite vividly what heartbreak feels like. though the last time it had a purpose and i'm sure this time it does too.

i broke my finger, 2nd match on thurs, first round.

i fought us open today with broken finger and broken spirits. though perhaps it was good to fight through it.

lost to the former world champ and olympic medallist 8-4.

only tkd medics would know that your hand is broken but not tell you to egg you on to fight with it...because they know that it's something you have to do.

i see from this weekend, and am deeply thankful that a lot of people support me. in prayer, as friends, and that even in this circuit i enjoy being well-liked and respected as a person. the number of people who have come to help me and give me advice this weekend was...a lot. and the comment i've gotten most was that i have a lot of heart. people are always inspired by the underdog. the rudy.

but i don't want to be that person who just tried really hard.

i've always thought that i could do anything i put my mind to i always have. you put your whole heart out there and the sky is the limit.

perhaps the sky is not as infinite as i thought.

maybe it was a bad weekend. maybe i was injured. maybe i didn't get to train or focus the way i needed to. maybe the points didn't go up. but for whatever excuses there may be...the end result is that something fell short.

so the question for evaluation now is- do i have what it takes?

well the more immediate question is...how do i take a shower with this cast on???