oppa

For one thing I think it's completely wrong to romanize it 'oppa'. That makes it sound like that Greek exclamation from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I always spell it oh-bbah, even though that's more tedious, just bc that's the closest way (imho) to keep someone from reading it wrong. But anyways...

What makes you decide to call someone oh-bbah or un-nee or hyung or noona?

I think it implies a degree of closeness - it implies a relationship that is very particular. When you assign seniority in a Korean setting, it's like the senior is responsible for taking care of the junior, and the junior is to defer to and respect the senior.

However, when someone is not related to or otherwise directly connected to you - where do these relationships come from? Meaning - it's not like I call every Korean guy friend I have oh-bbah. Many of them, even ones that are older, don't act that way.

This thought was brought about from a conversation I had with Sr:

What's {blank}'s email address?

> that's {blank} oppa to you.

>>haha yes yes...i tried to call him that for awhile but it was
>>uncomfortable bc we don't really have an oppa-dongseng relationship.
>>should it become so, i'll call him oppa more regularly.

>>>It works the other way around - when you call him oppa, he will become
>>>that and your relationship will become that of oppa-dongsaeng.

OK so WHAT is up with that??? Why is it that I have to take intiative for everything around here? People tell me I'm a direct person. And back in college before I got all tired and became a homebody, I was all about meeting people, being friendly, building relationships. But nowadays I wonder...and I think it'd be really nice if I didn't have to initiate or work so hard to upkeep. Particularly because I feel like I've been caught in a lot of one-sided relationships.

In any event...the mandate is out so I suppose I have to call this guy oh-bbah. But if he doesn't respond by acting like one, then...do I still have to call him that? It seems wrong to me...