irony

Excuse me while I have a dramatic moment.

So I seem to have developed this stomachache that is bad enough to keep me home from work. (When you haven't started to accrue sick days yet, this is probably a bad thing). The thing is, it's not your typical stomachache that is fixed by just purging the system (in whatever gross form that takes). It's like heartburn or acid reflux or whatever else old people get when they're stressed out and eat badly. (But I'm actually pretty healthy, what's going on??) The irony is, taking ibuprofen for my toe and knees probably aggravated my stomach more.

Finally it got bad enough that I decided to get the neon pink cure-all - Pepto. How anyone could make something so pink that it hurts my eyes is beyond me.

So here's the kicker - I go to open it, and my splinted hand can't open the freaking child-proof lid! I was *this* close to getting out a wrench to squeeze the sides and twist it.

It didn't work. So I moved on to Mylanta. The "classic" flavor smells like liquid Drano. And makes your tongue slightly numb. Maybe they make it this way so that you'll just be induced to puke everything out, because it's pretty disgusting.

Anyways, here I am, stuck at home, and not allowed to eat anything spicy or acidic. Never has my bottle of Tabasco sauce looked so good...

Maybe God is telling me I should've given up Tabasco for Lent.