personal space

I was on the plane home from Denver, which was hands down one of the worst flights I've ever been on. United sucks to begin with (American has spoiled me with leg room) - but being in Denver the morning after a snowstorm where flights were cancelled and delayed and grumpy people were rerouted everywhere...was no good. NG.

So needless to say, when I checked in and my eticket told me I had a middle seat, I was peeved but forced to be understanding. At that point I was just thankful my flight wasn't cancelled. However, once I got on the plane, I realized that I had the middle seat in the BACK row. Meaning, the only row on the plane where the seats don't recline.

No wait - there's more.

So I make my way to the back of the plane, and there's a guy already sitting in the window of my row. Seems normal enough. But no.

He's HUGE.

And far be it for me to be size-ist, and the seats were small, but he was taking up his seat and then some. I don't mind (that much) when people have already claimed the armrest, I can live with that. But when one is so large that they take up the armrest (and then some) naturally? It's not like I can fight with him for space, or really ask him to give me the space that I paid $288 for...it's not like he can help how big he is.

What was United thinking? Put the man in an exit row and put someone tiny in the back corner. Duh. Inefficient people.

So here I am, cramped up in about 60% of a seat (I kid you not), trying not to lean into the woman on my other side. Mind you, I've just come out of one of the most bruising tournaments ever, unable to bend my legs and with a dull headache from a mild concussion.

But wait - there's more.

Once the plane *finally* takes off, this large man falls asleep. Fine, perfectly natural thing to happen when you have a 7.30am flight. I would've tried to sleep, myself...if the man didn't SNORE. And by snore I mean a chainsaw that just couldn't quite get it's motor started. So it wasn't even steady - there were intermittent snorts that give you hope that maybe it's over...and then they start up again.

I've never understood the physics of snoring, as I have a friend who is quite small and snores like no other. However, looking at this guy, I'd be tempted to run some analysis on the air capacity within him and how much resonance can occur. In short - it was loud. And unpleasant. I almost thought about elbowing him in turbulence to try and wake up him - but that would just make him move, and the last thing I needed was to be squished more.

So the moral of the story is...don't fly United. And bring an iPod whenever you go on a flight.