In the words of Mr. Bean in Rat Race...
My favorite part of watching any sports game or match is not the great plays, the close calls, and certainly not the suspense...my favorite part is at the end of the game, particularly a close championships game - the instantaneous moment that the winning team realizes that they've won. It always makes me cry to see the players storm the field and start hugging each other and crying and screaming in excitement...that one moment of joy when you see all that work and sacrifice become worth it for them...that to me is one of the most beautifully pure things I've seen.
I had an awful practice the night before I left, and as usual Sabs didn't know what to do with my frustrations.
S Jr: "No crying this weekend."
me: "Well...what if I win? Then can I cry?"
S Jr: "OK. If you win, you can cry"
And although I went through most of the day with a strange sense of peace and relaxation (very bizarre on competition day, if you know me) - there was that moment when the critical match ended and I realized I had FINALLY beaten the girl who has beaten me for the last 4 years...when I had achieved my singlemost personal goal in competition - that I couldn't stop myself from crying. It happened when they lined us up to bow us out and declare the winner, and I looked at the scoreboard with my side blinking. I tried to fight it as I went to shake the other coach's hand - but when I turned around and ran back to Sab Sr and saw the look on his face, it was just over. I don't think I've ever lost it that badly, even when I've been upset.
On the phone, immediately following competition:
S Jr: "goh-man ooh-ruh...weh-ooh-ruh?" ("stop crying...why are you crying?")
me: "hey, YOU said I could cry if I won, and I won! I'm HAPPY!!"
S Jr: "fine...but stop crying"
Some things just don't ever change...haha esp. if they're middle aged Korean men.
For all that I've complained about New York and all the trauma and drama that has occured in the last 16 months...yesterday made it all worth it. I finally caught my white whale.
Praise God...
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