washed

6He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"

7Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

8"No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet."
Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."

9"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!"

10Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." 11For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.

12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

John 13:6-17

* * * * *

Sometimes I don't know what to make of situations. I just had a very insightful and challenging conversation with someone...but the minute I got off the phone I found myself in doubt as to how said person would view me now that part of my true character with its many flaws and shortcomings was out in the open.

Such is the difficulty of sharing. I've never had difficulty sharing - I consider myself to be an extrovert, testimonial, and frankly - narcissistic. I talk about myself quite often, and not just in superficial terms either.

However, something is different in these conversations. Perhaps it's because it's so challenging and pinpoints the very questions that are true, the very areas that I lack - but sharing becomes difficult because going deeper means being uncomfortable. Because it's humbling that another would see my weaknesses and point them out to me.

I imagine this is what Peter felt when Jesus suggested washing his feet. Not just in the indignance that Jesus would lower himself to a servant's role, but just in shame of how dirty his feet are and having the one person he wanted to impress see his gross feet as they are.

But I think that this is what Jesus meant by commanding us to wash one another's feet. That the difficult is not just in the lowering of oneself to be a servant - but in allowing yourself to be served. Because in being served in this way, you're acknowledging your need for someone else to see and take away the dirt you've accumulated.

I think that what I struggle with is not so much in letting Jesus wash me - but in obeying his commands to wash the feet of others and to let myself be washed by others.