visionary

I think I'm attracted to people who are visionary. And by attracted I don't mean romantic attraction, but just...who I find myself around and admire.

For example, the connection with Sabs and all of the non-profit organizations they've created that started with a vision and somehow got implemented to help further a cause. From KACF to INCTL to NYCTKDF, it's pretty amazing to see how many people are affected by the persistent efforts of a few. I was talking to Mrs. Sab once about how busy Sr is all the time, and she was like "well, he loves what he does...and I'd much rather he was doing something rather than sit around and be a couch potato."

I think it's really admirable to strive to create something out of nothing, for the benefit of others...plenty of people can have great ideas, but how many people make those ideas a reality? As I think back to all the struggles and obstacles we faced in starting up the TKD club at MIT, I don't know if I could ever do that again. It was more than rewarding, and a tremendous growing experience...but it was hard. The daily nitty gritty and sacrifice were sizable. With the offer to take over the NYU program, it's been tempting...but I wonder if I still have it in me, and whether that's what my energy should be focused on...

I think my dad is the man. Granted, a lot of girls will think that. (That their fathers are 'the man', not that my father is 'the man'). Haha. But despite his faults and shortcomings - of which there are many - he has a good heart, and I admire that. The thing that floats his boat the last couple years as been this homeless ministry that he's been volunteering at on Sunday mornings. It's a faith-based organization which makes breakfast for the homeless in Oakland, and invites them in for a worship service on Sunday mornings. The last time I was home for an extended period of time, he took me with him, and it was a total shock to see my dad - Mr. Incompetant in the Kitchen - strap on an apron and make scrambled eggs. (That in itself is a miracle...the man does not cook.)

Out of this homeless ministry grew TSOFA - an organization my dad and some of his friends started, raising money to send wheelchairs to the handicapped in Korea who can't afford them. I know - of all the organizations to create, it's a very unique one. I'm actually not even sure how that was put on his heart, that people needed wheelchairs...but after years of struggling to kick it off, it seems that they're finally starting to see some fruits of their fundraising efforts.

I remember when I was growing up, my family would always talk about doing 'our jobs'. Looking back, there were times that we were really struggling financially - but I didn't really know much about it until later. My dad would always tell me that his job was to earn money through the business to provide, my job was to do the best I could at whatever I was learning. We almost had a little competition going over who did their 'jobs' better, and sometimes it helped us to get through whatever it was that needed to be done. By defining the roles, our family operated fairly smoothly. I guess now that I've moved out and become financially independent, he's needed a new project. I get like that too - when something's completed and after the burnout has faded, I get an itch to do something else and can't sit still for too long.

So now that my 'job' is no longer to learn and get good grades and excel in whatever extra-curriculars I was in...I wonder...what is my 'job' now? What is it that I contribute to my family (defining 'family' is saved for another post), and where is my place? I think one of my biggest fears is being lazy. Having wasted something, whether that be time, money, an opportunity. And by no means do I have heaps of free time that I spend twiddling my thumbs...but sometimes when things are immensely busy, I feel the need to step back and define for myself a vision, and whether all these things that are keep me occupied and sleepless are in line with it.

Perhaps it's time to reread Tyranny of the Urgent...