Sometimes when you're down, someone does something so ridiculously thoughtful you can't help but smile. JAAC came by today to cheer me up with a cd full of all this music that I haven't been able to find, and some extra Christmas tracks. I love JAAC.
Against whatever fake motivation I was trying to muster...I was just too tired to force myself to go to boxing tonight. All of the manual labor lately at work coupled with forcing workouts of heavy gimpy legs and closed up lungs has left me wondering sometimes how I pushed so hard last year... and whether that passion is dwindling.
I suppose mental tiredness is not uncommon...but with physical fatigue it's a dangerous combination. Last year at this time I was freaking out because I tore my knee and it was iffy as to whether I'd even be kicking by tournament day. But there was a crazy will from inside that pushed me to be so nervous, anxious, motivated to wake up at ungodly hours for therapy, to fight on one leg...sometimes I wonder if with experience you lose some of that spirit...that desire that forces you to look past the pain, breathe when your lungs can't, get out of bed when you're tired...
Do I still have it? If so...where is it?
So light the fire, in my weary soul
Fan the flame, make my spirit whole
Lord you know just where I've been
So light the fire in my heart again
No comments:
Post a Comment