love is patient

Anytime I want a reminder that I've got faults - I go shopping with my mom.

Seriously. You'd think that a day of outlet shopping would be fun-filled mother-daughter bonding...no?

No.

It started out with the best of intentions. Figured...I'm home for a few days, I'll take her out, buy her some nice things that she wouldn't buy herself...give her a day off and drive her around...this time I *will* be patient. I know that she will nag, and I'll take it gracefully. I know that she will have a comment about *everything* - and I'll take it gracefully. I know that she will tell the same stories over and over again - I will listen to them and make her feel like I'm interested. I know that it is 1.5 hours in the car each way. I can do it. Go me. Sparky fighting!

Alas.

Being graceful is ... really freaking hard.

* * * * *

So I'm trying something on and she knocks on my fitting room door. "Are you sure you don't want a large? Let me get you an extra large, just in case".

* * * * *

On buying clothes for my dad:

"that's not going to fit, I think it'll be too big. Why don't you try it on and see?"

My dad and I are nowhere near the same size. He's a much broader, now slightly pudgy guy. Of COURSE if I put on a men's L or XL it's going to be too big. I looked ridiculous trying on men's clothing. And I've bought all his clothing in the last 5 years - I think I know what fits by now.

"Where did you get those shirts? Let me look at the colors..."

In the end, she picked the exact 3 shirts I had picked for him in the first place.

* * * * *

On parking:

I had to repark the car EVERY time bc it was not to her satisfaction of straightness or depth or something.

* * * * *

On ordering lunch "what are you getting? see, that's why Americans are fat. Don't drink soda, that makes you fat."

After this goes on for awhile, I exhaled sharply, gritted my teeth, and said "why don't you go find us a table?"

"But there aren't that many people, there are lots of empty tables"

"Well, better hurry before they fill up!"

* * * * *

On driving:

"Uh muh muh..."

Yep. That's it. That phrase, occuring like clockwork, followed by "slow down!" or "be careful!" or "you didn't see that, huh?" Sometimes while pumping an imaginary brake on the passenger side.

(Note: I drive like a grandma most of the time - it's not like I'm wild. I just don't always drive with my hands at 10 and 2, and that drives her crazy).

* * * * *
Sometimes...she manages to nag me before there's even anything to nag about. Like handing me a napkin and telling me not to spill on myself. At least let me give you something to nag me about!

On the car ride back, I was utterly exhausted after 10 hours from when we left, and not particularly in the mood to drive. There was one point when we were about a half hour out that I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't blow up - there were enough mini-outlets of annoyance throughout the day to prevent a disaster - but...I definitely remember the point when I was thinking, I'm about to lose it pretty bad...must find a happy place, focus on the music, look at the mountains...SOMETHING.

I had tried very hard, but I know I had failed to be nice over the course of the day when I'd gotten really really REALLY annoyed. I was really quite disappointed in myself (once the my-head-is-going-to-explode-get-me-out-of-this-car feeling had passed).

As I pack to head out, my mom is downstairs, doing my laundry, hemming my pants, and probably cutting up fruit for me to take on the plane. I guess that's what love is. Just wanting to spend time with someone and serve them, regardless of whether they've done anything good or bad for you.

I guess I hope despite my true self having shown through today, that she had a good time.

Once my Advil kicks in, I'll probably think I did...