nothing in life is free

What is it about me? Am I wearing a sign on my back or something that says "scam me"?

I was walking down the street, minding my own business and trying to get to yet another freaking therapist appointment (this one's a sports chiro - promising) - when this guy jumps in front of me and starts talking really fast.

Normally I just tunnel vision right by people trying to get my attention with flyers or what-not (and in the process have frequently not noticed my friends trying to catch my attention on the street...) - but this guy literally jumped in my path.

"Excuse me, where do you get your hair cut?"

"Um. Supercuts?"

"Well, we're running this awesome promotion in conjuction with MTV [some show name] and [some fancy salon]. If you look in this brochure, you can get all these services, valued at $300, for only $60! I've got two spots left and I need to find Asian women for the filming."

Um - you're on the corner of 34th and Broadway. You're next to k-town. I find it really hard to believe you haven't been able to find Asian women yet.

"Uh, no thanks"

"Can I ask why not? This is a great deal! You could pamper yourself, this is so much more than a haircut! Look there's also a massage by a hot Italian guy - but don't get too excited, they're all gay."

Dude. My idea of pampering myself is letting myself sleep for more than 7 hours and having Scottie (my Jewish brother) walk on my hamstrings. I'm not hard to please. And hot Italian guy? I've met a fair share of Italian guys - cut athletes to boot - and never have I thought they were hot. Sorry dude - wrong plug.

"Yeah, I don't think so. I'm not comfortable with giving out my credit card information"

"You don't have to! That's just optional. Here's the form, you fill it out, you have 6 months to go to the salon, and you can get any of these services you want."

"So I just fill out the form? What information do I have to give you?"

"Just your name and email address"

Eh, I can give him a throwaway address. Fine, and it'll be faster than trying to get him to leave me alone. And if I can just pay there, then this could be a legitimate deal. And I'd have time to think about it. Why not?

"Fine. I'll fill out a form."

"Great! So you'll be paying by cash?"

"What?"

"Well the $60 - you didn't want to pay by credit card, so will it be cash?"

"I'm not going to give you cash."

"Can I ask why not?"

"Why would I give cash to a stranger on the street?"

"I can see why you'd be concerned. Look. Here's the phone number, you can call them and verify that they are a legitimate business. You can use my cell phone."

"And then you want me to give you cash? Uh, no thanks. I'm late for my appointment"

"Well, where are you going to get your hair done?"

"I can go to Supercuts for $16."

I'm walking down the street with my hair in a ponytail. Do I look like I spend a lot of money getting my hair done? If he only knew that the way I decide I need to get my hair cut is when I back kick and it hits me in the face - perhaps he would have stopped another girl. Nevertheless, he was a persistent one.

"This is your only chance, I only have two left and I'm sure I'll be able to find others to take it"

"Well then, your job will be done. There are plenty of Asian women who walk down this street. Excuse me, I'm late for my appointment."

Dude. Asians are cheap. We go to Flushing and pay like $10 for a haircut. Or we get it for free because our aunt or someone our moms know owns a mi-jang-won. (Hair salon).

Now that I think about it...if I'd had the time, I would have made him escort me to the salon, and tried to redeem my coupon for all $300 worth of services right there. I mean, if that was the case and my cynicism had proven wrong - I would gladly fork over the $60 and just splurge for a nice haircut or something. But I suspect it was a scam...

This is the second time this week someone's tried to con me into giving my credit card info. Not to mention the whole Louis Vuitton fiasco that went down in Paris my junior year...a story for another time, but let me just say that flying to London and running into the American embassy to report Chinese smugglers and confessing being gullible enough to help them without knowing how stolen traveler's checks work was...stressful. I think I went from super gullible to super suspicious whenever anyone approaches me with something for nothing.

Hrmm...I'm not sure how I feel about that.