times of refreshing

God holds out the possibility of transformation. One day when the human race had not heard a word of hope for a long time, a man named Moses walked past a shrub. He had seen it before, perhaps a hundred times. Only this time it was different. This time the "turn" comes; this time the wardrove opens into Narnia; this time the bush is on fire with the presence of God.

And Moses said, "I must turn aside and look at this great sight and see why the bush is not burned up." Everything turned on Moses' being willing to "turn aside" - to interrupt his daily routine to pay attention to the presence of God. He didn't have to. He could have looked the other way, as many of us would. He would have just missed the Exodus, the people of Israel, his calling, the reason for his existence. He would have missed knowing God.

But he didn't miss it. He stopped. He "turned aside".

* * * * *

While I was at home, I was perusing my bookshelves, and came across "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg. gleej had given it to me as a graduation gift, back when she was on staff, my first year as a sgl.

I miss gleej - one of very few older women who were in a mentoring-esque relationship with me. She certainly shaped what kind of sgl I became...and the fact that I ever pursued that ministry at all. Funny, because initially I totally didn't want to be a small group leader, ever. I think I may have even explicitly stated that on my ministry evaluation sheet...something like "I want to do Exec, not small group lead". Haha...little did I know...

Ah, that was a good year...gleej, suprman, eunice, lakim, dpark, llai...we were such a diverse ministry team with seemingly nothing in common. It's funny how God works through differences. And especially as we were going thru Philippians this past year in sg, it reminded me of that year, and my first "kids". art_emis, dmkang, mcho, chicki, elisarah...who have grown into my peers and gone on to do far greater things in ministry to still call them my "kids"....I'm sure glad that I didn't turn down that opportunity, as I had wanted to.

So it was seemingly appropriate that I started rereading this book. I was talking with a friend this weekend, and it was great just to catch up and share. I suppose that's the funny thing about this particular friend - I only see him once or twice a year when I go home, and we don't necessarily keep in touch in between. But somehow that adds to the effect of the summary we get to give when we get to share - because so much time has passed that you can share overarching themes and movement rather than the day-to-day occurences. It's kind of like when you only see a kid every 6 months - you can immediately tell that they've grown, whereas when you see them day to day you can't really tell.

In any event...all these things (that probably only make sense in my head) led me back to something I was thinking about earlier: perhaps in all the times I ask God why He doesn't answer, perhaps I'm just not listening. What is "the presence of God"? If that is the heart behind spiritual disciplines, then I would say that our quiet times may look quite different. At least, mine would.

Home is oftentimes refreshing in more ways than you expect.

"If you are weary of some sleepy form of devotion, probably God is as weary of it as you are." -Frank Laubach